I guess Pierre and I both were happy with engaged life and actually had no concrete plans of getting married since we've been a couple since late 1990 and lived together since 1992, and kind of gotten used to it. You could say that we have lived like a married couple without being married... 
But something happened to me around Christmas 98, (what bug bit me?) and since then the idea of getting married  occupied a big amount of my thoughts. It just felt so natural to take this next step in our relationship. And oh how romantic it would be... and what a cool thing to do!!!! Don't you agree? :o) 

Pierre and I had been mentioning marriage from time to time in the past, but I guess the subject was never addressed seriously.  To be honest, Pierre  isn't the most spontaneous man on earth when it comes to romantic gestures (but boy, has he got other qualities!!!), and he had never actually proposed to me, so the times he brought the issue up for conversation I was kind of backing off so that we wouldn't reach a point where the conversation ended on a kind of mutual agreement of getting married. I wanted to be proposed to in the old fashion way. - To be surprised and swept off my feet! 
So although we both were very content with the life we had together, I started dreaming about getting married, to become his wife!
So for about 3 months I spent several nights in front of our computer, after he had gone to bed, browsing the Internet reading people's personal wedding pages, heartwarmed and smiling after reading about all these sweet, adorable people out there. I started dreaming and felt that this really was something I wanted to do myself.
Pierre probably hadn't a clue....  ;o)

Plans

Me being a hopeless romantic, and he being the down to earth one, I of course was hoping that out of the blue, he was going to propose to me, and do it soon! But how would he know,  when he didn't have the slightest idea that my whole approach to this wedding thing had changed so drastically over the last 3 months, after 8 years of relationship...? 
I finally came to the conclusion that he probably isn't a mind reader, so I figured I myself had to tell him how I was feeling about everything.
Suddenly I became aware of how unbelievably nervous all grooms-to-be must be when they're planning to propose to their girlfriends... :o)  I got all wound up and nervous and even started feeling unsure whether the person that had loved you for so long would feel the same... (Silly me!) I tell you -all kinds of weird feelings rush over you. But I knew it had to be done. I had to tell Pierre that suddenly I had been struck by romance, that I was very eager to marry him. And I knew I had to tell him before I burst! :o) 
But I still wanted to leave the part of the official proposal to him. 

So one Saturday night in early April I decided I was finally going to tell him. I was sooo nervous, so I put up a "deadline" for myself.  I told myself I had to tell him before Easter Sunday, -so I pretty much had a week. 
On Easter Sunday we were going to have a party here at home, so I'd better tell him before that, because that night I would probably end up being a bit tipsy and would most likely end up telling him then, which wouldn't be very clever since I wanted him to understand that I was serious about the whole thing, and that it wasn't just something I said under influence of alcohol... 

Just do it!!! (or something like that)

Ever heard about a psychological mechanism called "suppression"? I guess I experienced it, because suddenly it was Easter Saturday, late evening. We were walking home from Pierre's mum's place where we had enjoyed dinner. Pierre was on his way to work around 1,5 hours later and I suddenly realized that this was it! This was the only time I had to spill the beans... 
It was actually a very appropriate moment. Just him and me, outside, walking... Nothing to distract us. 
Oh, was my heart beating fast!!!! 

My voice shivered when I said -"Pierre, there is something very important I'd like to talk to you about. Nothing to be afraid of, it's nothing negative" 
I then asked him if he wouldn't think it would be neat if we got married? If he ever thought about things like that? Then I explained to him that I was not actually proposing (but I guess I in a way was, huh?) because I wanted him to do that; all about wanting to be surprised and everything... 
He said that of course it would be great, and that he too had been thinking about it from time to time, but that he wasn't very keen on the traditional and formal way weddings were executed; with tons of people, speeches and the lot. (And of course I have to respect that) 
I  said to him that there are other ways of going forth, and he immediately started talking about eloping to Las Vegas. Las Vegas had been brought up in the context before, and it sure would be a fun thing for us to do, since Pierre is a casino dealer and all.... So we spent the rest of our walk home chatting about this and that, and then Pierre went to the casino to work and I placed myself in front of the computer, logged onto the Internet and started planning my own wedding!!! 

Weird things happen in life

A week or so passed... Pierre hardly mentioned a word about neither proposals or weddings. I on the other hand was going berserk in front of the computer; ordered magazines, checking out sites, hints and mailing lists and just felt very happy about everything!  I  wondered when Pierre was going to propose, and why he didn't say anything, and finally it hit me that since he's such a "realistic" and down to earth kind of guy, he probably wouldn't propose to me until we had all the money required for a wedding right there in our hands.... 
So one night when I was online having a blast on the Ultimate Internet Wedding Guide Pierre came up to check out on what I was doing, I finally asked him what his thoughts and plans of the whole deal was, and told him it felt really weird for me to sit there all by myself planning a wedding that hasn't even been settled upon yet. Felt like I had nothing concrete to start from, and that I wanted him to be a part of all the planning too. He was obviously in a bad mood and just snapped at me, so we ended up having big, horrible fight and I felt like my whole world was coming apart that night! I rushed outside, and spent 2,5 hours on a pier by the water and just cried and cried. I guess I was hoping for Pierre to come after me, to comfort me, but time went by, it was late and I finally had to go back home (was literally freezing my butt off), and imagine the shock when I found out that he had gone to sleep like nothing special had happened...!?! I was devastated, and spent that night on the living room sofa. 

It turned out that we had completely misunderstood each other; he thought that us talking about getting married was just... talking... at that point, while I interpreted the whole thing as the actual starting point towards our wedding. We discussed for hours the following morning, and he came to understand me and my feelings, as well as I could understand his way of acting and thinking.
We are such different persons when it comes to expressing the way we feel, and misunderstandings occur very easily. On the other hand, our differences provide us with lots of material and issues for a dynamic relationship... :o)