The most important factor in the success (or otherwise) of your voyage is the crew. Getting the ideal boat is not essential. People can, and do, cross oceans in some very small and unlikely-looking craft. It often seems to me that the people in smaller, cheaper boats have more fun than the people in big, expensive ones. This may be because they tend to be younger, or because they have a "backpacker" mentality rather than a "luxury hotel" one.
You don't need large amounts of money. People live aboard quite happily on remarkably small budgets. Two books you should definitely read are Shane Acton's "Shrimpy" and Annie Hall's "Voyaging on a Small Income". Both these books will make you question your assumptions about what you really need to go cruising.
Much of what follows is purely personal opinion. Take it for what it's worth.
I would encourage you to go as young as possible. A lot of people wait until retirement (possibly early retirement) and many of them still have a good time. But, the one thing they all say is - I wish I'd done this when I was younger. It had long been my ambition to do the trip before I was forty, and in fact I was thirty-eight (and Sarah twenty-nine) when we set off.
The most important thing in a crew is not their sailing experience or physical fitness, it is their ability to get along together, in a very confined space, for long periods of time. It also helps if you adapt well to different circumstances, and are good at improvising.
You may be in paradise, but if you are constantly bickering, your life will be hell. If you're going to have rows, you can do it much more comfortably at home.
Back in England, pottering along the South coast, you see a lot of RSWs - reluctant sailing wives. These poor creatures are only on the boat because, unaccountably and regrettably, their husbands like sailing. Being on the boat is evidently a penance for them, often made worse by their husband's loudly and publicly expressed criticism of their incomptence (invariably to conceal his own).
If your other half is like this, don't even THINK of going long-distance cruising - well, at least not with him/her.
The number of crew you can take depends on the size of your boat, but a male/female couple is the most common arrangement. Some couples will take extra crew on board for ocean crossings. This can make the watchkeeping routine a lot easier, but on the other hand you have to store food and water for the extra bodies, which can be a problem on smaller boats. We were surprised how many boats arrived in Barbados with little or no food and/or water left. This is unforgiveable; bad planning, bad discipline or both. We made an early decision not to take on additional crew, although we had offers from several seemingly competent people. Of the boats we knew that did take on crew for the crossing, some didn't get what they had bargained for.
One boat we knew took on a crew member, who appeared to have excellent sailing references, but turned out, after departure, to have no knowledge of sailing at all. Essentially they had taken on a non-paying passenger. And, come to think of it, another boat we knew took on a crew (who they knew to be a competent sailor) who was alone on watch when it piled onto a reef. The boat was lost. In my view this incident has to be regarded as the skipper's responsibility but still, I'm sure they couldn't help wondering if it would have happened otherwise. Remember that if things don't work out on a ocean crossing, it's very difficult (not to mention dispiriting) to turn back. I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from taking on casual crew, but like marriage it's not a decision to be made lightly.
I think it is probably best if a boat has only one owner and only one skipper, and that these should be the same person. Boats are expensive, on the whole, so shared or joint ownership is common. But when the owners have a parting of the ways, the whole thing becomes very difficult to sort out. It is quite common for couples to split up when they go off long term sailing together. This applies to couples who have been married or living together for years. If the boat belongs to more than one person, the resulting issues can, and often do, take years to sort out.
Sharing the role of skipper seems to be quite common. Sometimes it seems to work, but more often it leads to disharmony. Sarah is more than capable of skippering Avalon, and I am happy for her to do so when I'm not around. I have let her have sole charge of the boat, while I was in Europe working. But it's my boat, and when I'm there I'm skipper. This is not to say she doesn't have a lot of say in how things are done. She does. But to prevent arguments, someone has to have the casting vote, at least on matters relating to sailing, navigation and boat safety, and this has to be known and acknowledged by all on board.
Some people bring kids, and in general these seem remarkably healthy, capable and self-assured for their age. How easily they would re-integrate into normal school life is a different matter.
One thing NOT to do: Decide to give up smoking by the "cold turkey" method during an ocean crossing. We heard of at least two boats where this was tried. Needless to say, the people on board were half crazy, and at each others' throats, by the time they reached the other side. On arrival, of course, they all started smoking again with renewed gusto.
