FOR ALBERT
ALTHOUGH THE LEGION OF FANTASY SHOULD READ THIS TOO
By Nanaki Setoson
1998 A.D.
"ShionSaul... banned!" Albert screamed with glee. He was obviously having the time of his life. He had already nuked Icy, so now the last possible restraining force we had was gone. Marle remained silent, but soon the topic changed to "Albert is a f---ing f---er," only without the dashes. As Nanaki had expected, the message "Mode change +t by Albert16" immediately followed. Then, Marle erupted into a long string of swear words. She would be banned too, before much longer.
"How's the nuke coming?" Nanaki private messaged Aerith.
"Not so good." Came the reply. "He or his bots are still the ops on every channel we've got."
"Should we flee to #CastleAnearia?"
"No, let me give it one more try."
"Aerith has been pretty silent for a long time." Albert said smugly. "You've got nothing to say? Get off!" Aerith was subsequently banned. Goodbye nuke. Next, "Mode change +ni by Albert" flashed across the screen. Now they were really sunk. Marle, realizing her ranting wasn't going to do any good, gave it up. Thanquol squeaked helplessly. "You're all powerless!" Albert gloated. "I rule this channel, and there's nothing any of you can do!" Marle typed a series of lines that seemed to be nothing at first, but when she was finished, we were obviously looking at a raised middle finger.
She was then banned. Nanaki personally wasn't that sorry to see her go, but it still sucked. "We're finished." Thanquol said simply.
"That's right." Albert continued his gloating. "Sam is mine! There's no way any of you can possibly defeat me!!"
"You want to rephrase that?" Nanaki asked quietly. If anyone had been able to see his eyes, they would have detected a dangerous glint.
"You heard me! There's no way you can harm me, you insignificant little worm!"
"I see." Nanaki said. He proceeded to enter an entirely ficticious little code into his computer (although it would be nice if it really existed). Suddenly, Nanaki found himself in a foggy swamp, staring at Albert. He was standing in saggy fruit of the looms with horrifying skid marks. He had a beer belly, and more zits than a D student eating chocolate the night before his Algebra 2 final. In fact, there were bits of chocolate all over his face.
Nanaki found himself quadrupedal, covered in fur, with plenty of claws and fangs ready to go. At his side stood Thanquol, seerlord of the Skaven, hoisting a long staff above his head. To the rear stood Taran, high king of Prydain (I'm assuming), who raised his sword menacingly. Albert looked down at his pound to pinch and screamed.
"What is this?!" He pulled up his fruit of the looms, which were sagging.
"You're in our world now, oh Keeper of the Spare Tire." Nanaki said gravely. "You might know some stupid computer geek commands, but now you have to master infinity!" Albert closed his eyes, and suddenly he was in great physical shape, and covered with silver armor. He looked similar to Zeikfried from Wild ARMs. So, he was a fast learner. "Bad choice of form." Nanaki growled. "Now I hate you twice as much!!" Nanaki leaped forward, his jaws closing around Albert's neck plate, hoping his teeth would be strong enough to crush it. They toppled to the dirt, raining blows on each other.
"C'mon, we've gotta go help him!" Taran gestured wildly.
"Hold on." Thanquol sniffed the air. "I sense one more of us." Whirling around, he saw Sam lying on the dirt. She was bruised and battered, apparently unconcious. "We've got to take her to safety."
"What about Nanaki?" Taran asked, trying to tell who was winning the battle.
"He can take care of himself. He's killed us in this world often enough."
"You're just bitter." Taran accused. "But I guess you're right." They hoisted Sam up and started carrying her in the opposite direction.
In the meantime, Albert managed to get free of Nanaki's snarling form for a moment, and started running away. "Stand and fight, you coward!" He roared. Albert turned around and grinned wickedly. A gigantic spear formed in his hand, and he hurled it at Nanaki. Nanaki stopped in mid stride as two of his legs were sheared off. As he collapsed in a bleeding, roaring heap, a swirling portal formed in front of Albert, and he ran into it. "Fool." Nanaki grinned, blood trickling from his mouth. He activated his Full Cure materia, waited for his legs to reattach, and started to run after Albert.
"Nanaki, wait! Don't go after him alone!" Taran shouted, from some distance away now.
"I can handle myself!" He roared back. Then he was gone, into the swirling mist.
"Nanaki!"
"Let him go." Thanquol said, not paying attention. He turned back to Sam, shaking her gently. "Sam? Sam, c'mon, wake up!"
* * *
One Hour Later
Thanquol would have put a damp cloth on Sam's forehead, but in this place, the problem was finding something that WASN'T damp. Then he could have kicked himself. Of course, he had the power to change this at any time. They all did! He was about to shift the environment himself, when suddenly, a dull humming was heard. Blue clouds swirled in the mist, and out stepped-
"Saul!! Marle!!" Taran shouted.
"Yeah, we finally made it back." Saul said bitterly, looking at Sam. "What happened to her?"
"You saw it. Albert put her through hell, pure and simple. I'm sure Nanaki blaming this whole mess on her didn't help any." Taran frowned.
"Where is that feline?" Saul asked. Even as he spoke, he could practically hear Nanaki screaming, 'I'm a cat/dog/bear/hyena hybrid!'
"Albert disappeared into a portal, and the big galoot followed him." Thanquol informed Saul.
"And neither one has come back yet?"
"No." Thanquol shook his head dejectedly.
"So what have you been doing?"
"Taking care of Sam. And waiting. What else can we do? Icy is barely alive, wherever he is, and since he and Nanaki are our best warriors, we can't do squat!"
"Can't we follow the bastard?" Marle asked. No one was sure whether she was referring to Albert or Nanaki. No one asked.
"Nope. Looks like we should just settle down and wait."
* * *
Another Hour Later
Taran looked up from his perch on what was now a castle wall. The portal Nanaki and Albert had disappeared into was reforming. Those same two stepped out. Taran stepped back, raising his sword. Albert appeared unscathed, while Nanaki was full of gaping wounds, and his eyes were pure black. "Surrender now!" Albert said in his usual arrogant way. "I have defeated your best warrior! What chance do you have?"
"Plenty!" Taran cried, and charged at them, his sword forward. Albert stood, apparently welcoming the blow. To Taran's great surprise, Nanaki reared up and knocked him over the edge of the parapet. Albert watched with first glee, but then discontent as Taran merely floated away. "I'm not so easy to kill here!" He shouted at Albert. "Just wait right there while I get a few of MY powerful friends."
Albert didn't wait. He jumped off the castle wall, and the broken form of Nanaki followed, apparently uncaring. The glint of the sunlight revealed a brace of materia on Albert's gauntlet.He ran into the chamber he had seen Taran flee to, and found quite a group waiting for him.
Sam was leaning wearily on Saul, while Marle, Thanquol, and Taran took up defensive positions. in front of them. For once, Albert didn't mince words, he merely charged into the fray. To the dismay of the others, Nanaki charged right with him.
"What did the bastard - ungh! - do to the other bastard?!" Marle screamed as Nanaki's claw raked across her face.
"Could the portal have - ngh! - carried them back to the chat room?" Thanquol wondered out loud, bringing his staff down on Albert's head.
"That would explain a lot, but he couldn't have taken control like this..." Saul said from the rear.
"Maybe this Nanaki is a bot." Taran guessed, ducking a clumsy punch from Albert.
"Then the real thing should be coming back." Marle pointed out, kicking Nanaki where it counted. The beast jumped back.
"He would have to go through the chat." Sam said tiredly.
"Would he?" Saul looked at her. "Maybe he could get back by using html."
"He doesn't know html! Does he?"
They had to stop talking as Albert, infuriated that he didn't seem to have their full attention, stepped up the level of his attack. He drew out his spear blindingly fast, impaling Marle before anyone could stop him. "Who's got the Full Cure materia?!" Saul shouted.
"The... bastard." Marle groaned. She collapsed to the ground, and a pool of blood radiated out from her. Saul cast Cure 3 on her, and the wound closed, but she remained on the ground.
"Why won't you people give up? My imagination is just as vivid as yours. Nanaki thought that I wouldn't figure out the power of this place, and he was very wrong, as you can see."
"All you can do is attack." Saul said scornfully. "You have no other skills. This is how we will defeat you." He turned to Sam, and they looked at each other fondly. A blazing gold field of energy surrounded them. Albert rushed up, and slammed his spear into the shield several times. It didn't even waver.
"What is this?" He asked, annoyed.
"The power of love, you slimey simpleton." Taran explained. "There's very little you can do about it." Albert slammed his spear into the shield several more times, then looked ready to give up on it. Saul and Sam smiled at each other inside the shield.
"The mush meter is flying... off the scale!" They all turned, horrified. The angry sound had come from Nanaki. It was the first time he had spoken.
"Are you jealous of Saul, perhaps?" Albert asked hopefully.
"Not jealous... But they... are constantly reminding me... of what I don't have." He growled, as if in pain.
"Can you do anything about that?"
"I've been wanting... to try out this move... for a while!" He said in ragged gasps. Everyone stepped back apprehensively. "Solitary longing!" Nanaki shouted. A black beam came out of his chest, and slowly circled the shield. It twisted around Saul and Sam like a strangling weed, and the shield vanished.
"Ha! Maybe you can confuse me in this world, but you can never beat one of your own!" Albert laughed again. Everyone else was getting tired of it.
"That remains to be seen." Saul growled, pulling out a sword of his own. Sam stepped away from him and morphed into Vincent Valentine.
"C'mon you wusses, let's rumble." Nanaki snarled. Then he and Albert charged the four remaining authors.
Nanaki took out Thanquol without much trouble. The Skaven didn't even have time to call for Boneripper, who, truth be told, wouldn't have been much more of a threat. As Nanaki leapt for Saul, Albert charged Taran. Sam, I mean, Vincent, I mean, oh, you know who I mean! was firing round after round into Albert's armor, without doing much damage. Albert slammed the flat side of his spear on Taran's head, and the high king collapsed. Saul managed to stab his sword deep into Nanaki's side, but the cat/dog/bear/hyena hybrid managed to knock Saul out with a blow from his paw before he collapsed, breathing shallowly. Albert approached Sam, numerous bullets bouncing harmlessly off his armor. "Well, your defenders have all fallen, so let's be on our way." Sam stepped back, shaking off his grabbing arm.
And then Albert was sent sprawling to the floor as a blue spearhead of immense proportions smashed into his helmet. "Icy!" Sam gasped. He looked like he had been to hell and back, but Icy Brian indeed stood there, hoisting a gigantic spear of ice.
"So, the leader has come." Albert coughed, raising himself up on his hands. "Although you're far too late to do much good. You can never defeat me in your sorry state." Icy didn't waste time talking, he just charged at Albert, and with surprising speed considering how beat up he looked. Albert parried his spear thrust just in time, then did a 180 on his heel and slammed the butt of his spear into Icy's head. The Iceman hit the pavement with a dull thud, and Albert raised his spear high. "What did I say? You're all pathetic, in any reality!"
Then, his armor seemed to warm. 'This must stop...'
"What's going on?" Albert demanded angrily.
'You've deluded yourself into thinking you've mastered this. You have no clue. Here, the power is ours...' Albert began to experience some serious distortions, and slowly but surely, Nanaki's wounds were closing up. The materia slid off of Albert's arm and returned to Nanaki's headdress. Nanaki wearily got to his feet, and the blackness faded from his eyes. 'You made me hurt my friends... and Marle too.' Nanaki smiled. 'There can be no mercy given to you.'
Suddenly, a blue box appeared in the air, with white words flashing inside. "Knights of the Round gain a level! They become Knights of the Legion!"
"What does that mean?!" Albert demanded. In response, Nanaki braced himself, then raised his head high, invoking the summon. The 13 Knights of the Round slammed into Albert, and if that wasn't enough, once they were done causing carnage, the Legion of Fantasy followed. The now gigantic forms of Thanquol, Taran, ShionSaul, Samantha, IceMarle, Nanaki, and Icy Brian each reared up, performing their most powerful attack.
Albert's armor shattered, and he reverted to his original form, although he was at least wearing pants this time. "No! This can't be happening!"
Icy spoke for the first time. "It can, and it will." He charged forward, stabbing his spear straight through Albert's heart, not stopping until vital organs and slivers of broken bone came spraying out the other side. What was left of Albert contorted wildly, and he almost seemed to be trying to pull in the energy to reassemble himself. "Tweeties, help me!" He screamed.
"May I do the honors?" Nanaki asked politely.
"Be my guest." Icy bowed in return.
Nanaki strode forward, looking at Albert through unfeeling eyes. A yellow glow surrounded Albert. He was gathering energy! "Don't just stand there you fool!" He shouted at Nanaki. "Do something!" In response, Nanaki fastened his teeth around Albert's neck, and tore upward with incredible force. Albert's strangled scream was cut off as his voice box seperated into two pieces. His head, with the spine still attached, went flying through the air as Nanaki opened his jaws to roar. It's parabolic course brought it right up to a tree, where it split into several pieces, brains flying everywhere.
"Really Nanaki," Sam said, looking nauseous, "that was a bit much."
But Icy just grinned. "Happy to be of service." Nanaki bowed.
"Can we go back to the chat now?" Taran asked hopefully.
"He will be alive back there, you know." Saul pointed out.
"Maybe he'll have a little respect now." Thanquol said. Icy and Nanaki exchanged skeptical glances.
"Wait." Saul held out his hand. "Nanaki, I want to talk to you about that skill you used."
"Forget it Saul." He said, not looking at him. "I'm used to being alone. Sorry that my will wasn't strong enough to break free sooner."
"CAN WE GO BACK TO THE CHAT NOW?!" Taran roared.
"Okay, okay!" Icy laughed. "Ready everyone?" They all nodded. "Well then, here we go."
The familiar white box of #ctfanfic appeared on everyone's computer screen, and they were all back in their respective countries. Albert was back in the chat room, but he didn't go back to causing hell. "Everyone here?" Icy asked. They were, and a few others had arrived while they were gone.
"Where were you all, and what did we miss?" Eskridge demanded.
Nanaki ignored him for the moment. "Well Albert, I can't help but think that you learned some sort of lesson in there." He said.
"I sure did." Albert said humbly.
And then the bastard nuked them all.
"Only a true coward takes pleasure in destroying those who are powerless to resist." - Nanaki
"I will pay you back! Because forgiveness, for one like you, could never be an option." - Achika Masaki
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home
Page