Planet Nintendo
Which is trying to explain all this.
Kirby: That’s not cute! Nintendo needs a boss like me.
An explosion appears on the platform. Somebody comes out of the hole.
Megaman X: The mandatary shall be ME! I’m the one with the most power.
Everybody: Booooo! You went to PlayStation so get outta here.
Another explosion happens and sends him through the roof. It’ssssssssss Bomberman!
Bomberman: Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
Almost everyone: My wallet! You Thief!
Locke: CALL ME A TREASURE HUNTER! (Begins to cast Ultima)
Person #1: It’s okay, I think I left it in my house.
Person #3: Another thief, I mean treasure hunter must have taken it. (Everybody sits down)
Diddy: Oh, no. The BIG party will be at Kong Island, hosted by Donkey and Dixie Kong.
Robo: Ladies and gentlemen, anyone who votes for me will have a free trip on the Epoch.
Everybody: Yeah! Great! Cool! ROBO! ROBO! ROBO!
Everybody: Aaaaaaaaaah! (sits down)
Locke: Now here come the guests, who will ask questions to the candidates.
Link: What do you plan to do for the enviroment?
Mario: I’ll get a pipe what sends trash to the center of earth.
Robo: Descompose the garbage in its primary components, so they return to nature.
Diddy: I will conserve the rainforests (of course, I live in there).
Ness: What do you plan for the children?
Mario: They’ll be busy playing all my incredible games.
Kirby: The warp star will be used to give them flying rides.
Robo: Teach them about computers. They are the future.
Diddy: I’ll take them to a giant zoo.
Samus: What about space exploral?
Robo: The first rocket was already sent in year 2047 AD.
Robo: Sorry, I was talking about my game.
Diddy: We’ll place K.Rool over many barrels of TNT and send him to the moon.
Kirby: Use the Warp Star for space travel.
Everybody: Yes! Where’s Mario?
?????: Yahooo! (Crashes through ceiling)
Mario: There you are, rocks of the moon. (Drops some rocks.)
Locke: (Astonished) Mario, how on earth did you do that?
Mario: Mamma mia, I just jumped to the moon.
Mario: All right. I used the cannon and the Wing Cap.
Robo: You had seen it, Ladies and Gentlemen, do you want a president who lies to you?
Locke: Well, let’s continue with the guests.
Dr. Wright (from Simcity): Do you have any experience on city planning?
All the candidates: Oh, uh, well... not exactly...
Yoshi: What do you plan to do with animals? Especially dinosauric co-stars.
Mario: GIVE THEM THEIR OWN GAME!
Which begins with Ganon’s appearring.
The other candidates are too surprised for talking.
Link draws the Master Sword and the Silver bow and arrows, but Ganon tells him to calm down.
Ganon: I come in peace. I want to know what will happen to bad guys.
Mario: Kept prisoner in places they can’t escape.
Diddy: Sent to unknown faraway places.
Robo: Thrown into the nowhere of the End of Time.
Ryu: (Stands up) Fight between ourselves to win the title of champion!
Locke: (Starts casting Flare) Do you think so?
Everybody: Not really. (Calms down again)
Link: Ganon! Now suffer the power of the legendary Master Sword!
????: No! Ganon, I will stop you!
All: Ah! Hello Saul! (Seems that everybody belongs to some group therapy).
Link: This is my threat! I shall slay him!
Saul: No, you won’t. My Mana Sword is the most powerful.
Link: I think you don’t know I hold THE MASTER SWORD!
Saul: No, I think you don’t know the power of THE SWORD OF MANA, also known as EXCALIBUR!
Link: At any rate, you will need SILVER ARROWS to defeat Ganon!
Saul: And what do you think THIS is! (shows a silver bow and arrows)
Saul: So you wanna test MY POWER!
Reptile: Remember to execute Mercy before doing the Animality.
Everybody stares at Reptile. He felts embarrased and dissapears.
Zelda & Linda (from SOM also): NOOOOOOOOO!
Linda: Saul! Thank godness you’re safe! I though you could die before I...
Zelda and Linda notice everybody is looking at them with a funny face.
Linda and Zelda take Saul and Link and drag them to a side of the platform.
Zelda: Link, I told you to not to go on unneccesary fights!
Link: (waking up) Yes, princess. (like on the comic in the Super Mario Bros Super Show.)
Linda: Oh, I haven’t got any candy!
Zelda: Here, take some red potion.
Saul: (waking up) Uhhh. Sprite, you should try to aim your spells at the enemies.
Link: (falling unconscious again) Oh Marin, sing to me!
A pair of cloaked beings step into the room.
Cloaked man # 1: I would like to know who of you is the most powerful.
Mario, Diddy, Robo, Kirby, Locke & Link: ME of course!
Cloaked man # 2: But we don’t see anything that proofs any of you is more powerful than the others.
Mario: What? I’m definitively the most capable. I’ve defeated Bowser about a hundred times.
Diddy: All that robotic fuzzy worths nothing. Try fighting monkey style. That’s power!
Cloaked # 1: I think you all are presuming.
Locke: OK! Have it! YOU ALL DIE!!! ......... MERTON!!!
Locke: Oh, great! I ran out of MP! Excuse, I going to buy some Ether. (Runs out of the hall.)
Link: It just us now...Quake Medallion!Attack!
Kirby turns into a stone and drops over Link’s head.
Robo: It is sufficient of this unnecesary dispute. I’ll finish it at this instant... Shock!
Robo opens itself and from his generator incountable bolts of electricity hurt everyone.
All: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Robo is easily dominating, but suddenly Mario jumps on Robo’s generator 64 times and destroys it.
Mario: Haha! That was my Super Jump!
Robo: (Assembles himself again) I’ve learned another emotion... ANGER!
Mario: UuuuuughhghtkiisiaiiakaaaaaaaAAAAApppppppp P (Falls to the ground)
Diddy throws a barrel in Link’s head, where he still has a bump.
Dixie: NOOOO! You killed him! You son of a [naughty words]!!!
Dixie grabs Link with her ponytail and swings him around.
Link: AIIEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (He is sent out of the room by a window)
Kirby: That’s a good idea! Ice! Fffffffffffffff (Blows and starts freezing everyone).
Robo sends Mario flying, but he Wall Kicks and jumps back to Robo.
Mario: You forgetting who I am? Super Jump!
Mario: Ma-mma-mi-a (Says jumping the 23th, 24th, 25th and 26th time.)
Suddenly, Dixie turns into a ugly creature with a desfigurated face and a rotten skin.
Dixie: Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee. (Faints)
Link: Hahaha! (He’s in the Ceiling) I dropped Magic Powder in you! (Jumps down.)
Dixie: You-no-good-man! (Slaps him with the remains of her ponytail)
Mario: Yahoo! (Mario does a Slide Attack but slams into Robo) Ouch!
Robo: It seems that you like the action of being thrown.
Mario: IAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Ouch! (He has landed)
A wheel enters through the door, jumps up a ramp and drives at full speed to Robo.
The wheel grows spikes and stabs into Robo’s brass body. It’s Kirby.
Robo: Bzzzzzzt...that....bzzzzzzzz...hurts...bzzzzzz...ouch...
Link: What? Forget it. Are you guys noticing that we’re not taking real damage?
Kirby: (Turns back to normal self) Someone must have popped a Game Shark.
Mario: This fight is totally useless... Maybe someone just wanted us to fight.
Dixie: YOU!! (Points to the two cloaked figures)
Luigi: Gotcha! Hey, I finally got to say something.
Robo: Reveal your identity! Laser Spin!
Crash: Damn it. Those fools discovered us.
Sonic: What are we going to do now?
Link: Be defeated! Turbo N Position!
Everyone gets on a line. Mario, Dixie, Robo, Link and Kirby.
All: The Shocking Stone Sword Impulsed Triple Pound!
Sonic takes Crash and uses him as shield, but at the same time tries to step away.
Nothing of Crash can be seen, and Sonic is heavily damaged.
Luigi: Mmmhhhhhgggggmmm. (He is able to flip the light swicht with his nose)
Luigi is tied and has a big bump on his head.
Mario: Luigi! What did they do to you?
Rocky (The Nopino from "Pocky & Rocky") climbs up to the control room and frees him.
Luigi: They took me by surprise. Sorry Mario.
Mario: What were they planning?
Continued on Part IV, where this starts to get weird