There's an old curse that goes "May you live in interesting times" and
since I do I've always wonder if Rei put the whammy on me to keep me to busy
to cause trouble.  Or to put it another way you never know what life's going
to throw your way in the private eye business.  One day you're broiling in the
Moroccoan sunshine, the next you're growing icicles and trying to save the Fat
Man from trolls.  If that's not enough you're accompanied by the slightly
demented sailor you love and a guy who's died and been reborn more times than
Calcite and Mina's marriage.  My life's been weird since I was revived but
even for me this was one hell of a way to spend Christmas.

The Kringle Sanction
a Magnesite PI adventure
by Mark Latus
 
December 22 2990 AD - Casablanca, Morocco
     I was sitting in my office trying to contain my excitement and set the 
atmosphere.  An actual client was on the way!  Out in the reception room Naru
was shuffling papers and trying to look secretarial.  She was wearing a close 
copy of Mary Astor's dress in Falcon.  Yes, I know she was Spade's client not
his secretary but it had the essential nineteen-forties look and how many
women would be willing to humour me even that far?  Times like these I think
I really should tell her just what she means to me but I'm good at that sort
of thing.  It's just not in my nature and screws up my Youma self image.
Luckily for me Naru says so long as I keep narrating aloud she's happy and we
won't have a problem.  In other words we're both still crazy after all these
years but it's a good kind of crazy..
     While I don't get much PI business we haven't been idle since the war.  
I still run Rick's Cafe Royaume Noire every night and do a steady trade.  Our
resistance fighter rep and Naru liberating the city singlehanded earned us a
lot of good will and I haven't been shy about exploiting the image.  It also
boosted Naru's business now that's she's well enough to resume her career.
She's good and people would have bought her custom made jewelry anyway but the
publicity made for a very good startup for the Osa-P Gallery.  She was on her
way to becoming famous back in the Twenty-First before her life fell apart.
She's determined to make the most of her second chance now that she's 
functional again.  I won't say sane as she's still sticking with me which has
to be lunacy but I'm not complaining.  Since there are people who idolize the
Senshi you could call it divine madness.  I do and I'm a bit envious as people
still call me just plain nuts. 
     Certainly there's enough people who think this building symbolises our
somewhat  fractured nature.  It used to be used by the Nemesians as a Field
Headquarters.  It was Opal's to be precise and since she was their only local
commander smart enough to surrender it was the only one of them Naru didn't
level during the liberation.  Wonder whatever happened to Opal?  We had a good
working relationship during the occupation.  I appreciated her cynicism and
that she was an honest politician who stayed bought.  It's been four years
since the war and even Naru can't get an answer out of Ferrite on if there's
anything to the rumours he gave her sanctuary so she wouldn't have to go home
and (presumably) get lynched with the rest of the Black Moon Family.  Why her
brother was dumb enough to accept the offer to take Demand's place as Clan
Leader then dump Titanite and grab a shuttle to Nemesis I'll never know.
     Anyhow we took over the building and hung onto it and renovated after the
war.  Our apartment occupies the top floor, below that it's my office and the
vacant suites we use for storage.  The second floor is the Osa-P Gallery while
Naru's working studio occupies the basement.  On the ground floor we have a
third business which was started on a whim but could be the most popular of
our enterprises.     
     When she feels like it Naru spends a day running our Usagi-Chan's Ice
Cream Parlor.  Since my own business isn't exactly booming and Rick's is a
nightclub it's also where I spend most days after morphing into a forgettable
face.  I don't mind it as much as I used to and it makes her happy so since my
real business is the pits why not?  It beats sitting in my office all day
staring into space and since I hired competent people to run Rick's I'm not
needed there anymore.  My own fault, anticipating a flood of PI business after
the war I made myself more of a figurehead at the cafe and I don't dare change
that in case the detective business does pick up.  So day to day operations at
Rick's don't need me anymore and since Naru seems to be able to talk me into
anything I spend my days running an Ice Cream store under an assumed face.
Fortunately focusing on playing my role keeps me from narrating aloud and
giving myself away.  My reputation would never survive that.
     Being a youma (okay, former youma turned psychoplasm ghost) I'm not well
versed in the subject but I figure I must love her or I'd never risk exposure
just to make her happy.  But it does so I do.
     The only thing that worries me is the wistful way she looks at our kid
customers.  She never got the chance to start a family with her husband and I
think that gnaws at her sometimes.  Maybe she'd be content if she had
descendents out there somewhere but there aren't.  Naru and Umino were waiting
until they'd established themselves in their respective careers before
becoming parents and assumed they'd have plenty of time to take care of that
later.
     They were wrong and I'm not a candidate for fatherhood emotionally or
physically.
     Children are one thing we can never have even if Serenity was willing to
help.  I know it's thanks to her Calcite and Venus are filling Crystal Tokyo
with demi-youma hybrids but that doesn't do me any good.  I don't like to
admit it but I'm not even a youma anymore.  I'm not talking about the mental
changes I won't admit to but to a literal truth.  Physically I haven't been a
youma since my body died in the Dark Kingdom and I became a ghost in
psychoplamic clothing.  Youma ultimately derive from human stock so the Silver
Crystal has vaguely related genetic material to work with but I don't even
have DNA.  I'm out of the parenthood market for good and while I'll never be
the patriachal type I fear that eventually that could be the end of us.
Someday, but not today.  Today we were in synch and I had a client for the
first time in months so I wasn't going to worry about it anymore.
     Thanks to my stature in the community after the war I figured business
would be booming.  Well I was wrong.
     There were and are two problems facing me.  The first is I that unlike
Crystal Tokyo I have plenty long established competion out there and for the
usual domestic stuff people go to the locals instead of the famous foreigner.
The second is that thanks to the nature of the cases I got in the aftermath of
the war (most of which could be traced back to Nemesian meddling with the
local magic) I've acquired a reputation for handling weird stuff.
     In short if the case is as mundane as most business that goes to private
eyes people figure I'm not going to be interested.  Which really limits the
business that comes my way as things have got quieter mystically as time goes
by.  Which makes for a great song but is bad for business
     To tell the truth I do prefer the weird stuff as divorce work is dull as
dishwater for the most part.  Which means I'm resigned to spending a lot of
time serving ice cream and running the cafe but almost none in the "Magnesite
Investigations" office.
     However today was an exception and a welcome change from routine.  A
guy by the name of Edmonds Lord Francis was on his way with a case he claimed
only I could handle.  "About time", I thought as I waiting and checked my
appearance in the mirror.  Sharp as a tack, now where was the client?
      Naru buzzed to say the client was there and I said to send him in.
There was a funny note in her voice like she wanted to warn me of something
but didn't quite know how to with the client standing there listening.
Whatever was wrong with the guy I couldn't get too fussy.
      The door swung open and I heard footsteps but saw no one.  He was 
invisible?
      "Down here!"
      I peered over the desk to see a little man with pointed ears standing 
a shade under two & a half feet (Sam would have sneered at metric measure and
I'm carrying on the tradition) tall.  He boosted himself into the chair set
before the desk for clients and looked at me.  Not wanting to lose the only
customer I'd had in months I told myself to avoid mentioned any puns referring
to size as he peered over the desk at me.
     "Would you like a cushion?"
     "No, this is fine.  Let's get down to business."
     "Fine by me, I'm not much for small talk."  I winced as soon as I said
it but he didn't pick up on it so I plunged ahead.  "So what's the job?"
     "I believe a friend's life is in danger.  He won't listen to me and has 
refused to engage security precautions.  He's too damned jolly for his own 
good.  I need you to keep watch over him for the next three days.  After that 
the danger will be over for months and I can breathe easier."
     I had to wonder about that.
     "Why such a short hit zone?"
     "He's vulnerable during a specific window of opportunity.  After that 
he'll be out of reach until next year."
     Sounded weird but the customer was always right.  At least when you get 
so few cases.  "What's your friend's name?"
     "Kris Kringle."
     There was something vaguely familar about that.
     "Should I have heard of him?"
     "He's usually known as Santa Claus."
     I took a few momnets to digest that before reaching a conclusion and 
responding in a professional fashion.
     "You're nuts!"
     He smiled.  "I take it you don't believe in Santa Claus?"
     "Bingo!"
     "Why not?  We live in a world where the most powerful people in the 
world are a group of unaging girls in miniskirts who live in a magical utopia
and fight evil by saying things like "Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!".  Oh
and let's not forget the immortal talking cats who advise them.  Is a fat guy
delivering presents once a year intrinsically any more ridiculous?"
     He had a good point but still ... "People buy the presents everyone 
gets on Christmas.  They don't just appear under the tree."
     "You never believed in Santa, did you?"
     "Not my mythology.  I grew up believing in ... in a lot of things best 
left dead and buried."
     He shrugged.  "Fine, don't believe me but here's two tickets on the 
Strat-jet to the Arctic Hilton.  Check out what's happening at the North Pole 
and if I'm nuts at least you've got a nice vacation for you and a friend.  
This should cover expenses."  
     I ran the cash card through a reader and determined we could go First 
Class all the way.  Not that I eat or have much in the way of physical needs 
but I simulate it for Naru's sake so she has someone to share experiences 
with.  Edmonds was clearly crazy but he was obviously a rich nutcase, maybe
even wealthy enough to be merely eccentric.  Maybe it was wrong to take
advantage of the deranged by humouring him and taking his money but as both
Naru and I also qualify as cracked who had more right than fellow maniacs?
Besides he could be a wiseguy trying to play with our heads in which case he
deserved a huge bill.  Leaving his mental condition aside it was a weird
enough story to make me curious to check it out.
     "You're on."  I picked up the tickets and commented, "I see we leave
tonight."
     "Time's a wasting.  So let's get to it."  He gave me a few more details, 
not much beyond he expected the hit to go down Christmas Eve but who was 
behind it he didn't know and wouldn't reveal his sources.  Inquiry proving 
fruitless I sent him on his way after promising to take the case and called 
Naru in to explain to the extent I could.
     "So how do you feel about Christmas in the Arctic?"
     She frowned a little.  "I had plans ... but I can change them and it 
would be nice to see snow again."  She turned a bit more serious and asked,
"You're going to treat this inverstigation seriously, aren't you?  Not just
take the money and have a vacation."
     I nodded.  "It's the detective's code.  No matter how outlandish the 
client's story check it out.  You never know, remember the Djinn and Tonic 
business?"
     She shuddered a little.  "Good point, we both thought Ellison was crazy.
Well he was crazy but he wasn't wrong.  You really think there's something to
this?"  
     "Probably not, still there's always a chance.  Belief is a powerful force 
if magic gets involved and a lot of people have believed in Santa Claus for a 
very long time."  An idea had occurred to me.  "I've thought of a lead to 
follow that'll involve sneaking out of the hotel and since I'll bet there's a
lot of safety regulations requiring Arctic tourism to keep their guests out of
trouble and from messign with the environemnt I'll need you to cover for me."
     She pondered for a moment.  "This is going to mean you'll be zipping off 
into the wild white yonder going who knows where to search for Santa Claus?"
     "That's about the size of it."  She nodded then left the office without 
a word to hang the closed sign in the window and shut the blinds.  Soon as
that was done she returned to my office, locked the door behind her and did
that smile of hers then changed into something more comfortable.
     "Nemesis Power, Make Up!"  She gave me a moment to admire her then walked 
over to the desk to stroke my cheek.  "Then you'd better charge up your energy
batteries so you're ready for anything."
     How we spent the rest of the morning is none of your damned business.  
The afternoon was spent packing, Naru for need, me for appearance and we 
caught the evening flight using fake IDs Ferrite had made up for us during the 
war.  They were still good and after a stopover in New York the stratospheric 
cruiser got us to the North Pole in three hours.  It's mainly a tourist 
destination these days, a tradeoff for the ReUnited Nations keeping individual
nations from claiming sovereignty.  Good thing too as that would likely mean
resource exploitation and while she respects national boundaries rampant
environmental damage annoys Serenity.  The RN thinks it's good policy not to
rile her unnecessarily.  Push her too far and she might decide to take over
for the greater good and it's not like anyone could stop her.  Best to let
sleeping gods lie.
     The "next day" (you had to take the hotel clock's word for it) I feigned 
illness but my character urged his devoted wife to leave him and enjoy the 
sights.  If anyone had checked closely they would have discovered the man in 
the bed was an illusion and he had two identical wives roaming the hotel.  But 
there was no reason to expect the deception to fail as I searched for an 
access portal I could use without leaving a trace.  It took a little morphing 
but I made it outside and became a snow white albatross.  Nonhuman shapes used 
to be a lot harder but a steady diet of Senshi energy has upped my morphing
capabilities considerably.  Which was why I took off as if I was jet propelled 
as I went looking for a toyshop I didn't really expect to find but like I said 
detectives code was leave no stone unturned.  
     According to legend Santa's Workshop was at the North Pole and there were 
a few tacky fakes around set up by the hotels but I was interested in finding
the real deal and there was only one possible place far as I was concerned.  
     Far below the Arctic ice there was a place where a mana well erupted from
deep within the Earth emerging at a place known as D Point.  Back in the late
twentieth century a group of very unpleasant people had tried to use it as a
beachhead to conquer Earth.  I should know, I was one of them.  Later in the
early 21st century a group of aliens known as the Acolytes of Silence had
built their headquarters over it and tried to ice the whole planet.  They
failed big time,  Crystal Tokyo was born out of that fiasco and magic was
unbound and returned to the Earth after being sealed away for millennia. D
Point marked the site of the last stand of both the Acolytes and the now long
forgotten Queen Beryl.  Twice the reality warping power of the Silver Crystal
had been used on top of its mana well.  That made for a potent combination.
If Santa existed anywhere I was betting that was the spot.
     I was approaching D Point when I felt the tingle and landed in a hurry.  
My psychoplasmic nature makes me sensitive to the stuff and I was detecting a 
hell of a lot below.  I remorphed into a polar bear, took a few minutes to 
shield my emanations and ambled over to take a look.
     The first thing I saw was the trolls.  At least that's what I called 
them.  Since they were eight foot tall, built about half as wide, had fangs
protuding from wide lipless mouths, greenish complexions, wearing leather
looking armour studded with metal plating and pointy decoration and clutched
huge battle axes it seemed to fit.  They stood still as statues, in fact they
were effectively psychoplasm statues.  No sign of life in any of them even the
fancier dressed one with the gold inlay on his armour who was the biggest of
them and I decided was the leader.   I cautiously studied them formulating
ideas then strolled over to D Point proper and there it was.
     The workshop, reindeer and people moving about (most as small and built 
the same as my client) looked insubstantial but as I watched they grew 
gradually firmer and my psychoplasm sensititvity told me it wasn't an optical
illusion.  The place was becoming solid.  Tomorrow it would be as real as I 
was (however real that is), namely Christmas Eve.  It all fit but where did
the trolls come into the picture?  I put some distance between us in case
anyone was looking for magical disturbances then teleported back to the point
I'd marked in our room.  Expecting to find either an empty room or just Naru
I was dismayed to see she wasn't alone.                   
     "Mag-chan ...", only Naru gets to call me that and live to tell about it,
"... Uncle Ferrite was in the neighbourhood and dropped in to say hi."
     Sure enough it was Mr. "I'm doomed to be alone forever" Irons having tea 
with Naru.  Okay so I owed him for introducing us but unlike Naru I've never 
really warmed to tall, dark and angst ridden.
     From the way Naru giggled and Ferrite scowled I'd said that out loud but 
what you going to do?  At least I'm honest in my psychosis.  Speaking of
honesty this seemed way to coincidental..
     "You just chanced to be in the neighbourhood?"
     "Strangely enough yes, I own several of these hotels and I was doing one 
of my feared random facility inspections when a watchdog program told me a 
couple of fake IDs I'd set up were checking in here.  Business kept me until 
now but I though I'd check why you were dragging my niece to the Pole."
     Thankfully theere was neither blood nor legal relationship between Naru
and Ferrite.  The Uncle-Niece thing was a legacy of Ferrite dragging Naru out of 
Crystal Tokyo.  It turned out the Iron Man wears his heart on his sleeve so 
instead of just putting her mind back together so he'd have his own Senshi 
for a war weapon he wound up fond of her.  Not romantically (lucky me, luckier
Naru) but a family-like bond had formed between them which I was too smart to 
try and break.
     Ferrite asked, "So did you find Santa's workshop?"
     "Matter of fact, yes.  It'll fully phase into being tomorrow so they can 
deliver the presents but it's the trolls in ambush that puzzle me."  
     Both Ferrite and Naru stared at me then Ferrite said, "Start at the 
beginning"
     When I was done recounting my tale and morphing into a troll to show them 
the opposition Naru asked. "But what does it all mean?"
     I shrugged.  "My current theory is that the Silver Crystal is the root of 
it all.  Back in the old days did Serenity ... Usagi Tsukino believe in Santa 
Claus?"
     "When we were kids, sure.  Come to think of it she was the last one in 
the neighbourhood to give up on the idea.  Cried for days."  While most of the 
past thousand years is cloudy Naru can remember her childhood and teen years 
perfectly.
     Ferrite asked, "Did that spoil Christmas for her?"
     Naru shook her head, "No, she always loved it.  She was very fond of 
presents."
     Ferrite nodded and I picked up the conversation.  "So here's my theory, 
maybe defeating the Dark Kingdom creates the seed, more likely it dates from 
the defeat of the Acolytes.  Sailor Moon has just become Neo Serenity and is 
radiating power like crazy.  She's transmuted Tokyo and unfrozen the world and 
arrives at the North Pole to fight the Acolytes.  She thinks something along 
the lines of 'this place should be the home of Santa Claus-sama not invading 
aliens', might even have given a speech along those lines before doing the
'I will punish you' bit.  Anyway the Silver Crystal is responding to her will
like never before and picks up on that.  Nothing happens right away but the
seed is planted in the middle of the mana well and over the centuries it's
nourished by the continuing global belief in Santa Claus.  Until one day the
critical threshold is reached and psychoplasm constructs form in response to
that belief.  They fade during the rest of the year but in December when the
belief heightens again they reappear and the cycle continues.
     Ferrite objected, "If someone had been delivering toys to all the 
children in the world for centuries we'd have noticed ..."
     "Not all the kids, just those who are good and believe.  They get a 
present, probably a psychoplasm construct which eventually fades and is
presumed lost but it heightens their belief and when they grow up and have
kids they pass on the story perpeptuating the cycle."  Something occurred to
me, "I'll bet most of the toys are delivered to Crystal Tokyo.  They have the
least cynical kids in the world and if parents notice the toys are psychoplasm
based  in an environment like there's that's not too unusual."
     Naru nodded, "That makes sense only where does those Oni you saw come 
into the story?"
     "I think they're a new element unless ... Ferrite, did Santa Claus have 
any arch enemies?"
     "Why ask me?"
     "Because you've been through more cultures than anyone else and must have 
heard all the variations on the story."
     "Well if there's an Anti Claus I never heard of him."
     Naru asked, "Then what does that mean?"
     "My best guess is that someone's moving in on Santa's operation.  The 
big troll had traces of an external presence on him.  Some adept visits the 
Pole and uses the mana well's energy to conjours up a psychoplasm body he can
control remotely.  It stays here when he leaves and he animates it from afar
to create the other trolls.  They're pure construct, obey orders but no self
awareness so they can just stand and wait for tomorrow.  Come Christmas Eve
they charge the workshop when it phases in and take out Kringle.  Being the
same substance they can destroy or at least absorb him ... That's it!  The
adept controlled troll merges with Santa and assumes control of the workshop
and it's all his.  The other trolls are just there in case of opposition from
the elves or reindeer."  My grin faded as I thought it through.  "At least
that's my theory but that still leaves the basic question of why go to all
this trouble?"
     "Profit!"  We both turned to Ferrite as he continued, "Whoever's behind 
this gains a zero cost workshop churning out toys he can sell for any price 
he chooses and because they'll always fade out there's replacement market."
     "Christmas Eve alone isn't much time to make sales", I objected.
     "So he extends the operating hours.  Right now it's a natural cycle 
right?"  I nodded.  "So our Mr. X uses his talents to accelerate the 
manifestation.  Maybe he can link it to the commercial sales season.  Even if 
he can only get a week before Christmas that's plenty of time to rack up 
millions.  All of it pure profit as he's not spending a dime on either
manufacturing or shipping."
     Naru shook her head, "Using people's belief to make a fortune.  That's 
so low!"
     Ferrite sighed, "A very old story I'm afraid.  One I've seen far too many 
times."       
     I nodded, "Well I know where I'm spending Christmas Eve.  I've got a 
client who wasn't crazy which means I've got a job to do."
     "Meaning?"
     "Meaning I'm going to destroy those trolls tomorrow."
     "Why not right now?  They're inert which means sitting ducks"
     I shook my head.  "Then there's nothing to stop him trying again next 
time.  I've got to do it while he's using his troll.  I put the fear of ... 
Xmas into him so he doesn't try again next year."
     Naru looked worried and Ferrite said, "That means his robo-trolls will 
be active and he'll be ordering them to destroy you.  Since they're 
psychoplasm too they can probably do it."
     Naru gasped and looked very small and vulnerable for a moment.  Then the 
moment passed and she said, "I'm coming with you."
     "But it's my case and ....urk!"
     I said the last part because she had zoomed across the room and grabbed 
me by my trenchcoat lapels.  
     "This is not open for discussion!"
     "Yes ma'am."
     I heard Ferrite chuckle.  "I well recall you don't argue with that tone 
of voice."
     Naru's face softened and she quietly said, "Please Mag-chan, if anything 
happened to you I think I ... I'd slip away again."  My heart melted and I 
murmured that of course she could come and looking into her eyes I almost 
forgot Ferrite was there until I heard his chair squeak as he headed for the 
door.
     "This looks like a good time for me to leave but I'll rendevous with you 
tomorrow for the showdown.  I don't trust you to look after my niece in a 
fight.  Beside I want to ask Santa about why I never got that train set three
incarnations back."
     The next day I teleported all three of us to the spot I had marked 
yesterday.  Naru was shivering inside her insulated clothes but Ferrite was 
dressed the same and he seemed fine.  We figured it was psychosomatic, a 
throwback to all the icy days Naru spent huddled cold and alone in forgotten 
corners of Crystal Tokyo.  She'd have been warmer as Sailor Nemesis but we had
decided the beacon of a senshi's aura would scare off the mystery man pretty 
quick.  
     We made our way on foot to D Point and found ourselves a hollow in a 
snowbank between the trolls and the workshop.  Ferrite set up surveillance 
gear so we could keep an eye on Santa's HQ while we waited.  It took our minds 
off the cold and when Naru snuggled in close she stopped shivering so it 
wasn't too bad a wait.  It wasn't pointless either, three hours later the
trolls came to life.
     They topped the rise growling while their leader hung back shouting
encouragement along the lines of, "Charge!  Slaughter those little bastards!
Eradicate them!  Wade in gore!  Shove Candy canes up their ...."
     Well you get the idea.
     We had planned for this and I made the first move.  I teleported behind
the leader, grew to his height and wrapped flexible arms around him as my 
mind reached into the psychoplasm and grabbed a firm psychic hold.  Startled
he instinctively tried to disengage from his creation but he couldn't slip my
mental grasp.  Not that her didn't try hard as he fought to psychically pull
free.  It took him a few seconds to overcome his shock and think to call for
assistance from his creations.  Which was all the time Naru needed to step
out of hiding and transform.  No sooner was she done that the horde of trolls
charged her.
     Ferrite backed her up but she didn't need any help.  Despite her bare 
legs the cold didn't touch her as with cries of "Vengeance Reaver!" she
shredded the Trolls into clouds of psychoplasm too diffuse to reform.  It was
over in seconds and Ferrite holstered his unfired pistol as Naru stalked over
through clouds of dissippating troll to join me and my stunned captive.
     He was shaking like a leaf as she purred "Do you know whom I am?"
     The adept shook the head he couldn't vacate and Naru did that scary thing 
she does so well when she's in the mood.  Her voice sounded like thunder, the 
heart of the storm itself.
     "I AM NEMESIS!  SAILOR OF THE WORLD OF STORM AND VENGEANCE!  THE SENSHI 
OF FURY AND RETRIBUTION!  HOLDER OF THE WIND CHAKRA!  QUEEN OF THE RED SUN.
THE ONE WHO WAITS ON THE EDGE OF YOUR DREAMS!  I AM ALL THESE THINGS AND MANY
MORE!  THERE IS NO PLACE IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT YOU CAN HIDE FROM ME IF I
COME FOR YOU!  DO YOU DOUBT ME?"
     Frantic headshaking.
     "LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NEVER RETURN!  NEXT TIME I WILL NOT STOP WITH YOUR 
PUPPETS!"
     I released my grip on his mind and troll body and stepped back in a hurry 
as she shredded him.  Since he could now disengage his mind from his construct
his didn't go into oblivion with it but from the fear filled wail as his
spirit fled I decided we wouldn't ever have to worry about him running another
takeover bid again.  Naru shook herself and giggled which is as much a part of
who she is as the Nemesis personna.  My sweet little scary soldier, part
Sailor Moon, part Queen Beryl.  If you ask me it's a winning combination.
     After that it was a bit of an anti climax.  We went down to the workshop 
but it was like we weren't even there as everyone bustled around us getting 
ready for the big night.  A bit like watching a hive following a single 
purpose.  A jolly hive to be sure but it was a little disappointing there
weren't any kudos.  At length we decided we'd seen enough and I teleported us
back to the hotel.  Looking on the bright side Naru pointed out that even if
no one said thanks we had done our bit for saving the Christmas Spirit.  We
agreed but she could see something was nagging at me and asked what waswrong?
     "There's one major loose end.  The elf who hired me ...."
     "Couldn't he have been a midget?'
     "A midget with pointy ears and the initials ELF?"
     "Oh, I suppose take the suit away and put him in an elf costume and he'd 
have fit right in."
     "Yes, except he manifested before the others, had self awareness and gave 
us valid tickets and cash.  How did a construct manage that?"
     Ferrite smiled and headed for the door, "I have an idea about that.  I'll 
let you know."  He paused at the door.  "Well Merry Christmas to both of you.  
I've got to admit I never expected it to last Naru but Sammy Spud does seem 
to suit you."
     I glowered at him but that faded when Naru put her arm around me.  Bad 
for my rep I suppose but who cares?  "We're very happy together even if 
Mag-chan doesn't want to make it official."
     That was all it took.  I'd been debating about if I'd hold off on the 
gift another year and had a nice dress picked out and giftwrapped as an
alternate present but the moment seized me. 
     "About that ..."  I raised a palm and extuded the little box I'd hidden 
the year before by absorbing it into my psychoplasm.  To Naru it seemed to 
appear in my hand.  "... it's close enough to Christmas that I can give your 
present a little early."
     Wondering, she took the box and opened it to look inside.  Her jaw 
dropped at the sight.  "Is it ...?"  I nodded and she threw her arms around 
me.  In answer to Ferrite's unasked question she burbled, "It's an engagement 
ring!"
     I nodded, "I've been thinking about this for some time and I'm no good 
at saying this sort of thing but ... wanna get hitched doll?  I know kids are 
out of the question but ..."
     The kiss interrupted me.  When she came up for air she said, "We'll 
adopt!"
     Ferrite looked like he had very mixed feelings but manfully said, "I hope 
you'll be very happy together.  I should leave you."
     "Wait, Mag-chan wants to ask you to be his best man!"
     That was my first indication that married life was going to have its ups 
and downs but Ferrite also looked freaked at the concept and I figured the 
pluses outweighed the negatives so I wasn't going to complain.  Still I'm
going to be living in interesting times.
      I wouldn't have it any other way.

Epilogue
     Ferrite entered his sanctum sanctorum and told the elf sitting at the 
chess board, "You've been meddling!"
     "True, the directors of Fun-Co, Freezone's largest toy manufacturer are
unhappy but as their only adept has suffered a nervous breakdown they will
decide it's not cost effect to pursue this matter."  The elf glanced towards
a monitor displaying the resume of the incapacitated wizard.  "He should have
stuck to doing Osrik Orc constructs for that Lord of the Rings themepark but
he got nosy and greedy after that North Pole vacation."  After a momentary
pause he added, "Good thing you buy all the info that's up for sale in
Freezone or I'd never have stumbled across their corporate plans while looking
for more relevant material.  Which enabled me to set up this situation that
worked better than I expected."
     "That's one point of view.  Now he's proposed and she's accepted and
you've ruined my matchmaking plans before I even began.  What in the name of
all the gods were you thinking?"
     The little man smiled then morphed back into his real form.  Puck nodded
towards the board, "Just a little maneuvering to get out of check.  They had
settled into a rut and given their lifespan if they didn't get a push it could
have persisted for centuries and it seemed past time to move them to the next
level."  A bit less flippently the ancient mooncat added, " I know you don't
like Magnesite but Naru does and trying to split them up would only backfire
and your ... our plans to put her on the throne of Nemesis would crash and
burn!  Now that they're making their relationship legitimate we can began
working towards the next stage."
     Ferrite sighed, "Maybe so but he's a lousy candidate.  A stable throne
needs heirs and he won't ... can't provide them.  He's not even flesh and
blood!"
     "So change that."
     "How exactly?"
     "Don't look at me, you're the man with the plan for rebuilding the Silver 
Millennium.  I'm just a cat so I could hardly suggest having a word with 
Serenity about ensuring the future happiness of her old friend with a little 
miracle working.  I'm sure you've already figured out why that wouldn't work."
     Ferrite stared at the cat then rubbed his chin.
     "Maybe, just maybe the process that transformed him can be reversed.  If 
anything can do the job the Silver Crystal can which means they could then 
have legitamate heirs like .... like Mina and Calcite."  Ferrite twitched a
bit as he said this but plowed on without stopping.  "Demi-youma kids can
interbreed with humans without magical assistance so there are no succession
problems with the future generations and they'll inherit innate powers from
their father's side which will put them on an equal footing with the pure
Nemesians.  Yes, it could actually work.  My plans were deadlocked but you've
broken the jam, you miserable old furbag."
     Puck let the characterization go without comment.  Be a good sport and
blame it on the heat of the moment, he thought.  Tis the season to forgive
and forget.  With that in mind he said, "Just consider it a gift for your
hospitality these past few years.  Merry Christmas."
     Ferrite smiled, "Nothing more to say except, God Bless Us Everyone." 
     "Amen."

The End

Apologies to Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill for mangling Nemesis the Warlock's 
speech.  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year/Millennium 
Draft version Dec. 24 2000
Revised Jan 17 2001

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