Volume 5.
Rei, holding Shiori, says that Sei sought death because he couldn't face reality--that they'd been born when their mother had an affair with another man. He remembers Sei standing at the edge of the roof, looking at him, smiling a sad smile. Sei says (I think he says it...) that his existence is unnecessary, no matter whether to Shiori or to their father, and goodbye.
Takemura's a bit worried about Shiori, who's clinging to Rei, eyes closed. Rei says he'll send her home, and asks Kira, who's sympathetic, to go home on her own.
Takemura regrets trying so hard to find out "the truth." He wonders whether it would have been better not to have dug so deeply and come to find Rei at all--whether he should just bury the past. He understands why Sei would not be able to stand the news about his father, though--he says something about Sei having this near-obsession with..er...upright..things, and detested those that were underhanded or immoral. Takemura remembers something Sei once told him--about always being free to cry in front of Rei. Sei says that he always thought it was because he always cried so easily and quickly, so Rei never had time to cry, but that lately he'd been thinking that it might be because Rei couldn't cry at all--and wonders whether there is any place where Rei would be able to cry...
Rei doesn't show up at school. Kira, worried, goes to his apartment to find him. Turns out he's got a fever and is sick in bed. She tries to see if she can find someone to take care of him--maybe Shiori, but Rei just says if Shiori came over he'd probably get worse, and that Shiori isn't the take-care-of-others type. Finally, Kira calls home and tells her mother she's staying overnight at Harumi's, so she can stay out and take care of Rei. ^_^
Kira's out buying groceries and medicine for Rei, thinking about Rei's telling her he'll be all right by himself. She thinks about how everybody on earth lives alone, but how Rei's loneliness is different from other people's. She thinks Sei was an idiot to leave Rei alone.
Rei wakes up to Kira's chopping vegetables, a damp towel on his forehead, well taken care of, and goes back to sleep. Kira stays by his bedside, holding his hand and crying.
Kira wakes up in the morning in Rei's bed. It seems he'd woken up much better, and found her asleep next to his bed. He figured she'd get sick if she slept like that, so he'd put her in his bed. (hehe...the pjs Kira bought for him are too small...) Kira makes him some rice omelette with sausages (the octopus ones! hehehehe). Afterwards, Rei talks about his mother--how she'd been hospitalized the year after she'd given birth to him and Sei, so he'd never been able to taste her cooking. Then again, he reflected, she wasn't the type of woman who'd do that sort of thing anyway. (I guess not the traditional motherly type, eh) Kira asks him whether he plans to live alone in the future, or whether he'd consider going back to his father...Rei replies that if he were in his father's position, and had to watch "his" children grow more and more unlike him every day, and yet have this issue of losing face and so be unable to divorce his wife or get rid of his children, he would curse these kids every day and wish they'd disappear. Rei says he doesn't really care one way or the other, as everyone comes and goes in/out of the world alone, so they're all alone anyway and it was just dumb luck that he'd been born at the same time as Sei.
Thinking over the whole story, Kira asks Rei how they'd found out that their father was someone else. Rei said he found a letter of his mother's after she'd died, a love letter she'd written to someone with a picture enclosed. The man in the picture looked a lot like him and Sei. Kira asked how Sei found out, and Rei said he'd told him. This shocked Kira, and she asked Rei how he could have told this to Sei, knowing him so well and knowing his reaction would be what it was. Rei replies that it's because he hated Sei and wanted him to disappear! How Sei had always put up a nice, peaceful, moral front, but had always been a crybaby/coward.
Rei recalls a scene from when Sei was still alive--
They'd just moved back in with their father in Japan, and their father was nagging Rei about his future goals. Rei said he wanted to be a motorcycle racer, and go back to LA after middle school instead of going to high school. Both his father and Sei were against it, saying it was unrealistic and dangerous and why didn't Rei face the real future? Rei got really angry with Sei for always siding with their father, and always seeming to kiss up to their father since they moved back. Sei denied this, saying that he was just trying to look on the bright side of things and salvage what little of a family the three of them had left. He said what he didn't understand was the way Rei kept fighting their father over every little thing, and kept having these horrible moods ever since they moved back and acting like a child. Rei got so angry at this that he'd punched Sei, and said that Sei shouldn't act like he was so great, since without Rei, Sei wouldn't be able to survive since all he ever did was cry. Sei agreed that Rei was strong, but that Rei always used violence to try and solve his problems and that it wouldn't always work.
Rei tells Kira that that time was probably his and Sei's first actual angry fight. He'd started sensing an evil, cruel side to his nature which he found hard to restrain esp. when Sei was around. He had thought, since leaving the hospital, that his guilt over Sei's death had been because he was unable to save Sei or protect him; however, he now remembers the truth and claims that he had been the deciding factor in Sei's suicide--that he'd been the one to push Sei over the edge. (By giving him the letter their mother had written, along with the picture.) Kira asks if Rei had really hated Sei so much. Rei thinks that he'd always tried so hard to protect Sei, just like his mother had asked him to that time, but Sei had always looked at him with the same expression in his eyes as his father had looked at him. Sei hadn't wanted the protection Rei could offer him---he'd wanted the warmth of their mother. But Rei hadn't known how to give that to him--he didn't know what it was like to be protected by a mother or a father. Kira, crying, asks Rei whether he wasn't really the one who wanted protection the most, wanted someone to lean on even more than Sei had. Rei begins to cry, trying to hide it from Kira, saying that no matter what he does now, it's too late, since Sei will never come back and no one will ever forgive him. As he buries his face in his hands, Kira puts her arms around him, saying that no one is great enough to have the right to blame him for anything.
There's a replay of Sei's saying--Rei had never cried because he couldn't cry at all.
Rei borrows money from Ken to buy some water. His eyes are all red from crying so much, as are Kira's. The two of them drink water and wonder what they look like...I mean, both of their eyes are all red and swollen. Do they look like a couple who just had a fight? But then why would they both be crying...and they don't look like siblings...
Kira says they must look like friends. Because they had the same feeling, they shared it together and cried together. She says that she's glad that she has a friend like him, who can share the same emotions/thoughts as her, and that it doesn't even matter if they can end up being lovers or not because she hopes their friendship will always be there and they can always laugh and cry together. She says she's so thankful to have met Rei.
Rei takes Kira to the train station. Before she leaves, he says he feels like he owes her a lot, since she's taken care of him for the past couple days, etc. She asks him to kiss her--"a kiss between friends"--so he kisses her before she leaves on the train. As she's taking the train away, Rei begins to cry again. On the train, Kira starts to cry again, too, thinking she shouldn't have drunk so much water, since now she has more tears.
Harumi and Kira have a talk--Harumi is shocked that Kira spent two days at Rei's place and only took care of him (she says Kira might just really be a convenience store -_-;;), and says that Rei might turn back to Shiori again. Kira replies that there's nothing she can do about it, and if Rei can be happy with Shiori and smile and laugh as he used to, she'll be happy and content also because that's what she always loved about Rei. Harumi agrees that she'd like to see Rei happy/smiling again, but also says that she liked it when Rei was with Kira--how before, Rei always was cool but a little scary...and once he got together with Kira, it seemed that, though he was still cool, he was also sort of cute--despite being so big and tall, he had always seemed to be smiling.
Rei finally comes to school. It seems he's feeling a lot better as he jokes around with Tatsuya/others, and does his usual jokes on the teachers, etc. Harumi and Tatsuya have a talk later--Harumi wonders what will happen to Rei and Kira; Tatsuya says it doesn't matter to him, as it's none of his business. Harumi, piqued, says it is too his business, since if Rei and Kira break up, Kira will be free to be pursued again. ^_^ But Tatsuya just says that it doesn't matter, since a one-sided relationship would never work out-- but that if Rei and Kira broke up, wouldn't Harumi feel something, since she still likes Rei? Harumi sadly says that it wouldn't matter, because she's not the type Rei would want for a girlfriend anyway--she's not strong like Kira is, or super-attractive-to-guys like Shiori is,...to sum it up, she says, she's just not cute. Tatsuya looks at her, and then says she's very cute. ^___^ That when she gets mad, she lets it all out in anger or tears, and that it's very cute. Harumi blushes and yells at Tatsuya. ^.^
Kira asks Rei about his injury (on his hand) in the classroom. One thing leads to another, and she tells him that she thinks he's at his best when he's riding his motorcycle. He asks if she wants to go somewhere with him, since he suddenly feels like going somewhere far away. She asks if this would be okay-her riding on his motorcycle-since she feels it might be slightly disloyal to Shiori (assuming he really likes Shiori). Rei tells Kira that he's incapable of having a purely platonic relationship with any girl-he either likes them, or he hates them; for him there is no middle ground. He's about to say more when they both notice Takemura standing at the school gates (::sigh:: again…).
Takemura says that this is the last time he's coming to get Rei, and it's because Shiori wants to meet him at a nearby café to get their feelings/thoughts out in the open. Rei asks Kira to wait for him, saying that he'll come back when his feelings are straightened out. She agrees to wait for him in a nearby park. Takemura, after leaving with Rei, comments on how nice a girl Kira is and how he feels bad for always doing these mean things to her. Rei tells Takemura that Kira is stronger than he thinks she is. Takemura asks whether Rei hasn't been using Kira as Sei's replacement (he comments on how he used to think Rei was so strong, but when Sei died, he realized how important Sei was in Rei's life and how much it had affected him). Rei tells Takemura he's actually very weak and ugly, and that he's the one who told Sei about their father not being their biological father. He still doesn't understand why...maybe because he hated to see someone who seemed so like himself physically, but had an opposite personality...and that after Sei died, he used to wander the streets and cause trouble, getting taken away by the police numerous times. Rei tells Takemura about his father taking him to the hospital, and how afterwards until now he's always been pretty apathetic about everything--but that he'll try his best to resolve this Shiori-Kira thing. Takemura asks Rei if he still likes Sei, despite everything that's happened--whether Sei has been in his mind this whole time. Rei agrees, saying that he would like to see Sei again, if it were possible.
Kira's in a nearby park. She watches a little girl drawing a bird in the sand. The little girl draws the bird with four legs, and Kira goes over and corrects the drawing. She starts drawing pictures in the sand for the little girl, starting with a swan. The little girl requests a bride, and Kira's first mental image is of Shiori decked out in bridal attire and flowers.
Rei's at the café meeting Shiori. Shiori says they'll be able to meet like this often in the future, and have happier times than in the past, and looks to Rei for agreement, which he gives. She says that in the past, the three of them-Rei, Sei, Shiori-had a lot of good memories mixed in with all the bad, now that she thinks about it. Rei tells her that it was the first time he and Sei had agreed in being interested in a single person. They often discussed things she did, liking her because she seemed so pure and clean and cute. However, now, he says that that is all he sees in her--she's just cute, just a shadow/echo and not a real girl. Shiori, shocked, begins to cry. Rei just says that Kira's waiting for him in the park, and that if he doesn't hurry back, he thinks she'll start to cry. Shiori, angry, exclaims that she's the one crying and grabs Rei's hand. Rei explains to her, quietly, that in the past whenever she or Sei cried, he always felt that he would do whatever it took to get them to stop. Now, though, he says that Kira also cries, and when she does, he panics and doesn't know what to do--and even feels like crying himself.
Shiori [eyes red, looking down]: All right, it's enough. You can go now. You're in a hurry to get going, it's very obvious.
Rei smiles, and turns to leave. At the last moment, he turns and looks back at Shiori.
Rei: Shiori, in this world there has to be someone who you will not be able to live without.
He grins, and waves back at her.
Rei: I hope you find your someone soon, because I've already found mine!
Rei's smiling, waving image is transformed to a younger version of him--or Sei?--smiling and waving at Shiori. Her eyes widen as he runs off.
Shiori: Idiot...
Back at the park, the little girl is making Kira draw more and more flowers around the bride. Kira protests, saying that the bride will be buried in flowers, and so the little girl suggests that Kira draw a bridegroom. Kira laughs, trying to picture Rei decked out in a suit; then, without warning, her laughter turns to tears as she remembers that no matter how long she waits for him, Rei won't be coming back to her.
A shadow appears on the pavement.
Kira looks up in surprise. Rei smiles.
Rei: What are you drawing?
He puts his arm around her and she cries into his shoulder.
Rei's fixing up a motorcycle for Kira. He takes her out to some grassy area under an overpass, near a lake, to practice. After a few instructions, he backs off and lets Kira at it.
Kira: AAHH! The motorcycle's going forward! It's going forward!!!
Rei: Uh..It would be really weird if it went backward…
Kira/ ! Am I imagining things? Or is the river getting nearer?
Kira: AH! Kashino! The river's coming closer to me!
Rei, looking slightly scared: I-Idiot!! You're the one who's driving toward the river! The brakes! The brakes!
^_-
Kira falls over on the grass and Rei helps her up as she complains about pains in her butt. ^_^;; Rei decides to demonstrate how things are done and does a few practice rounds and tricks for her. Kira cheers, and asks him whether they could go perform for people and earn money? (Rei sees his influence surfacing in Kira…^_^;;; heh) A truck drives by on the overpass and honks at them. Turns out it's one of the guys from the year above them (I think one of the ones Rei beat up so badly that time with Kurasawa...I'm checking on Giucci's page and it says his name is Hamazaki). He's graduated already, and is working for his family's business, driving a moving van and helping out in moving stuff. Talking of the future with him brings them to the topic of their own futures. Rei's intent on becoming a world-class motorcycle racer, while Kira wishes she could be an artist. Rei thinks she can, no problem, but she has her doubts--there are so few artists who can actually make a living through painting. She apologizes to Rei about the Mars painting--she had initially agreed to give it to him after the exhibition, but before she knew what was happening it had been hung in the school's auditorium. She tells Rei that the art director says it might be helpful for her to display her painting at the director's own art show. Rei makes a snide remark about how the art director just wants to use the popularity of Kira's painting to bring more people to her own art show. Kira reproaches Rei for being so mean, and he agrees with her and says he's a bad person anyway. At this, Kira hugs him, and says that to her, he's not bad..he's the best person in the world.
At the art show, the director leaves Kira in charge of reception for the time being. Kira sits there, thinking about how her mother wants her to go on with college and not worry about the money. Her mother said that if she threw away her talent it would be a waste, especially since this talent she has is a legacy of her dead father. As Kira's lost in thought, a man comes in and passes by the reception table. Kira's supposed to get all the viewers to sign a guestbook, and starts to go after the man when she notices that he's standing there staring at "Mars." He asks her how much the painting costs, and she responds that it's not for sale. He asks her whether she can put him in touch with the artist, and she admits to being the artist herself. He asks her if she's friends with the model, and she says she is, and that she promised him that after the exhibit she would give him the painting in exchange for his having modeled for her. The man says it's too bad, as this painting is what attracted him to the show as he was passing by. He looks at it, and observes that it's beautiful, not just because it's drawn with warmth, but because in the midst of the beauty there's a touch of sorrow. He says that while warm and happy things are beautiful, they're only transient, while things that are sad or painful stay in one's memory always, just like the memory of a wound will stay with a person long after the wound has already healed. The man smiles at Kira, and says he hopes she continues to paint in the future. Kira, surprised and touched, watches the man leave--then realizes she forgot to get him to sign the guestbook! But on running outside, she can't find him anywhere.
Rei is aghast that Kira has had an offer for her painting and refused it! She says it's because the painting is actually his, so she can't sell it, and Rei says she should have done it anyway since money's involved. They're in his apartment, and Rei's lying on the floor looking at a magazine. Kira talks a bit about the strange man who wanted to buy her painting, saying admiringly that he really was like some kind of knight (very gentlemanly or chivalrous, I take it). Rei makes a few abrupt remarks about how she seems to like the oji-san type. Kira can't understand why he's so squiffy with her, and he responds that he never wears cologne or suits like that man did, and more often than not he actually smells like gasoline. At this, Kira smiles and nestles up close to Rei, saying that she likes that smell of gasoline. She touches his hair, saying it's gotten longer, and Rei grabs her wrist and kisses her. He pulls her to the floor and continues to kiss her, and manages to slip his hand under her shirt. At this, Kira, startled, opens her eyes. She knocks over a mug, and springs up. She exclaims about being hungry, asking Rei if he wants anything. He says he doesn't, and she leaves to go buy some food from the convenience store, leaving him alone in the room. Rei says to himself that what he really wants to eat is her.
Kira and Harumi are having a talk at school. Harumi thinks it's the weirdest thing ever that Rei and Kira haven't done anything yet. -_-;; Kira says that every time that kind of mood comes along, she runs away. Harumi doesn't understand this at all, asking Kira why she runs away if she really likes Rei?
At the same time, Rei and Tatsuya are having a talk. Tatsuya thinks it's the weirdest thing ever that Rei and Kira haven't done anything yet. -_-;;;; Rei says that every time he wants to, there seems to be warning signals from Kira's eyes saying not to do anything, and that destroys the mood. Tatsuya thinks maybe Rei moves too fast, since it's Kira's first time with anything like this, and that Rei is too wild. Rei just thinks it's strange, because he thinks sex should be a natural thing, especially if the two people love each other. Then again, he thinks, it might just be that he's especially..er..inclined in that direction. ^_^; Tatsuya then admits that he and Harumi have...*ahem*. This surprises Rei, who says that now he and Tatsuya are "brothers" (in that they've slept with the same girl.. -_-;;;;; aiyo.) Rei accidentally bumps into a new student, who he mistakes for a really cute girl. Tatsuya corrects him, telling him it's actually a guy named Kirishima.
Harumi and Kira are continuing to talk about the above. Harumi asks Kira whether she truly loves Rei, and if so, whether she ever feels that she wants to give him everything, and whether she ever feels that she wants to know more about him. Kira just says that she really loves the way things are now, and she doesn't want anything to change. Harumi admits that she's sleeping with Tatsuya, and that ever since they slept together, she's felt a change in him. She also says, though, that she feels a responding change in herself, and that now she feels as though there's a place in her heart where Tatsuya lives, and that there must be a spot in Tatsuya's heart that belongs to her. She says she likes the way things have changed, and that it makes her happy. She says she understands what Kira's saying, but that she should also try and think about what Rei's thinking--does he feel the same as she does? And what if another girl who likes Rei should come along--
At this moment Harumi and Kira hear yelling. It's coming from a girl who's yelling at a guy (it's Kirishima from before) who has just rejected her friend. She says she can't understand it, since Kirishima just told her friend that he liked her. Kirishima responds that he likes her as a friend, and that he already likes someone else romantically. After more grilling by the aggressive girl, Kirishima admits (he looks sad) that the person he likes is 3rd year Kashino Rei. Kira's eyes widen in surprise.
End Volume 5.