I grew up a tomboy in Nutley, NJ, proud of the fact that I was the only girl to play tackle football in elementary school. I hated dresses, although I'm told I was an adorable flower girl. I had no worries in the world...until I turned 6 and my mother asked the question that changed my life forever. She asked if I wanted to take piano lessons. I remembered answering NO, but "Too bad, you're taking them anyway" was the answer I got. How could my mother do this to me? How was I supposed to make the softball team if they conflicted with lessons? But the salamanders were waiting for me in the backyard! No amount of reasoning would sway her. Since I had no choice in the matter, I vowed to make it as hard on everyone as it was for me. My childhood, as I knew it, was over.
Banished to the pits of my hell (which was the creepy basement with a possessed furnace) and tortured with the tick-tick-ticking of an egg timer for a full hour, I mastered my scales...laying down. To my dismay, one practice hour was 10 times longer than one playing hour, but I soon learned to make the time fly by. For every song I played, I turned the timer back 15 minutes. As I banged the last note of the next song, I'd run upstairs to use the bathroom. (My mother still laughs at this memory.) I'd stomp back downstairs, relieved to see another 15 minutes taken off. One more song, a few more scales and I'd be free! Eager to rejoin the living, I'd bound up the stairs. My mother would stare at the clock, then at me and remark that that was a quick hour. I'd solemnly agree and run away before she had a chance to think.
In the 12 years that followed, there were many tears, fights and compromises. I tried everything. I wore our housekeeper down so she'd lie and say I practiced. I got my grandmother to talk to my mom about trading piano lessons for art classes. I even took up the cello in hopes of abandoning one instrument for another. It all backfired. I got to do everything I asked for...in addition to the piano. Damn, she was stubborn!
In retrospect, where these things are always invariably examined, I'm grateful for those dreaded lessons. It opened doors to worlds otherwise closed to me and to friends I would've never had if not for the ivory keys. I eventually picked up the alto sax and played in the marching band, wind ensemble and even jazz, so in the end, I'm glad it worked out even tho' it SUCKED while I was going through it.
At 13, I got transplanted to Cedar Knolls, NJ. "It's by Morristown, no, the *other* Morristown, the one up north." (As opposed to Moorestown) The houses were far apart and on steep hills, which made trick-or-treating feel like a marathon. I never liked Halloween anyway. I never had the imagination or inspiration to be anything other than a bum. This may be where I started liking men's clothes more than women's. It was simply more comfortable and not so stupid looking.
Uneventfully, I graduated in the Class of '89 from Whippany Park H.S. in New Jersey...underachieving was my strength. I did just enough to be average. I'm sure if I "applied" myself, I could've gotten high grades but that took work, plus I had better things to do than study or pay attention in class. Looking out the window was far more appealing than the teacher. My mother secretly hoped that I took after her...slow to make the grades at first but would eventually make the high marks. I simply didn't have the attention span.
I tried to find my niche in sports since academics was clearly not it. Freshman year found me on the basketball court...lots of running and I sucked. Just because you can make the garbage can in your room does not necessarily mean you'll be good at basketball. This is where I learned the term "training" and "practice". I stunk at bball but I enjoyed the practices and being on a team. I played slowpitch softball when I was a kid so I thought I'd try high school softball in the spring. Whoa, they pitched faster than I can throw! I wasn't a starter but that suited me just fine. I played on the undefeated JV softball team the next year too but gave it up for track in my junior year. I did the shot put and the javelin, but couldn't manage the discus. The secret to the field events is how strong you can explode up with your legs. My legs were strong but I couldn't get the "explosion" thing going.
Clearly, sports wasn't my strength either. I just wanted to letter in something. I would've lettered with my spear chucking but my mother wouldn't let me do track the next season because of my grades and I made a deal that if I did stage crew, I wouldn't do track.
So, I had found what I liked best...stage crew. It was the next best thing since I hated to be on stage but loved productions. I loved the planning and building that went into a production and was actually pretty good at it. I worked the fall and spring crews from sophmore year to senior year, where I was the stage manager for the musical. That was a load of fun and I made some good friends.
I was also doing Interact, a community service club. The biggest production is the Midnight Owl Volleyball night where vball teams would pay to play in a tournament that lasted throughout the night. Prizes were donated by local businesses and the proceeds would go to a charity or person that needed a little help. I ran for president but unfortunately, I froze when speaking in front of a large group and thus, screwed up my speech. But that's ok, I accomplished what I set out to do...1. get a re-election for officers since the previous election was unfair, and 2. get more bodies to volunteer.
Wanna look up old high school buddies? Try the Reunion Hall, a huge search engine/database that keeps track of the people who register with a high school. Pretty cool, except the owner is woefully behind!
After high school, I moved to Philly where I slacked through my B.S. in Printing Technology Management from Drexel University. It's a business major with an emphasis in the printing industry. (There's something telling about the BS part.)
The best part of Philly is meeting my best friend, Reg. Bored of my room, I watched the pool action in the student lounge. He comes over and we start talking. I admitted that I didn't know how to set up my Mac so he shows me how. After he showed me the basics, we continued to talk...'til dawn. To this day, I can't remember a thing we talked about. One of my favorite memories is getting food from the "sev" and watching the sun come up from the 12th floor of Towers. We didn't hang out much freshman year because I started going out with Dave and got preoccupied with that. Dave ended 4 years later but luckily, Reg and I didn't.
I toiled there, unappreciated and underpaid, for another 1.5 years before the Evil One turned on me. I'm still a little bitter about that whole mess but it really was for the best. (Of course, finding out that she's been massively demoted and despised throughout the corporation alleviated my bitterness...heh) I am *shocked* that they have a web page. I wonder if they even have email yet...last I remember, VT terminals were the norm, women were encouraged to wear skirts and, tho' they did most of the work, were never promoted to the position they deserved.
Eventually, everything I overlooked to take this job got old...the 2 hour commute, the non-existent salary, the funny feeling that I was getting the proverbial shaft and then having the cards side of the biz dropped, I turned back to what I do best...software QA.
Interesting...two years later, they've changed their name to egreetings.com, fired the upper management, went public, grew the company to 150+ people but people are leaving left and right.
Thanks to Liz, I landed a job as a QA engineer for Cosmo Software, a Silicon Graphics subsidiary, working on Cosmo Player and HomeSpace Designer, an internet 3D space builder, where she was working as a tech writer. It was incredibly cool to test the latest VRML content. It's there that I've realized that I do indeed like QA but the product has to be really interesting. It's the basis on how I will find future contracts.
The life cycle of cutting edge technology is sadly short because people have a hard time adopting it. On the verge of merging with Sony, who had actually a signed a letter of intent (they made a big deal out of that), the deal fell thru and once again, I was thrown to the winds. Luckily, Liz just started at a cool company and got me an interview.
So here I am doing QA for Beyond.com. The first year was intense, friendships were forged thru hardwork and sarcasm, and we worked well as a team. Upper management was clueless, made bad decisions and hired horrendous buffoons, causing many to flee from what was a great place to work. I still like it here, but I, as well as many ex-Beyonders do, miss the intensity of times past. The chaos was exciting, the emotional struggle between us and them were thrilling, but that was then. The chaos is more controlled now and the old friends are becoming fewer and fewer as they all leave one by one, but I feel blessed...my team is cool, the work is the same and the bosses I've had are cool. I'm staying out of loyalty and curiosity and stubborness...like I said, I still like it here. I'll go when I don't like it anymore.
As I like to say, everything is a stepping stone to something better and things happen for a reason, especially in the case of my Goober, Liz.
I'm glad I left Philly and landed here when I did because I don't know how *else* I would've met her. While seemingly random, a series of cosmic events brought us together.
First, I went to the doctor's to treat my bronchitis. After being asked for an email address on the form, the receptionist and I marveled at how email has become a part of our every day lives. She asked if she knew me from ba-cyberdykes, an online mailing list. No, but what about this list??? Days later, I get the sub info (and a date!) and am subscribed within hours.
Second, a BACD get-together is planned at Hamburger Mary's. Starved for new friends, I forced myself to go. At the very least, I wanted to put faces to posts I've read. There, I meet Wen, a very nice woman whom I am immediately comfortable with. She was so cool that I ask if she knew anyone who wanted to buy 2 tickets I overzealously bought...or if she'd like to go? She agrees to a stranger's invitation and days later, we head to the Melissa Etheridge concert in Sacramento, with Kieren (they later become a very cute couple). We all bonded from the beginning and become friends.
Third, Wen gathers six of us to go to the SF Pride parade together. Our group grows to 7 when we pick up Wen's friend, Liz, from Portland. I am drawn to her but keep my feelings to myself. What if, god forbid, she didn't like me in the same way? Lucky for me, she did and after many visits and 1.5 years later, we've become the Two Goobers. Read her account of how we met.
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