Yesterday was the most wonderful day of my life. I spent the day with Barry, and managed to tell him some of my most painful memories, some I couldn't even manage to tell my best friends. Still, I feel like I could trust him completely, with all my innermost secrets. He has such a charisma about him, it's like he knows you from the first moment you meet him. I had only known him two days, yet, I had come to depend upon his presence. I was a little disappointed when he told me he couldn't stay with me today, but suggested that since it was Sunday, I should spend it with my friends. I didn't really want to, but Barry insisted, so I did. Marissa, Angel, and I went on a big shopping spree. We had a great time at the mall, both my friends amazed and pleasantly surprised by my apparent change in attitude. All I could do was smile and shrug. Both they and my parents think it's because I went out Friday night. If only they knew!! I wonder what they would say if they knew I had my very own guardian angel!

I missed Mercedes terribly today. It was one of the longest days I've ever spent in my life. Or after-life, I guess you could say. I kept wanting to go check on her, but I forced myself to stay put. I eventually ended up going to check on my family. It was great to see them, even if they couldn't see me. But I got a nasty reminder of how fast time passes on Earth while you're dead. My mother looked so old, it seemed like she had aged a hundred years. My baby brother, who's birthday party I had been speeding to when I died, was now a teenager. It was strange. It kind of depressed me when I thought of how much I had missed. My only consolation was that if I hadn't died, I would have never met Mercedes. Just thinking about her made me crazy. I decided I had waited long enough to check on her. By the time I got back, it was late and she was pacing the floor, a worried frown creasing her lovely face. I materialized in front of her and she ran to me and encased me in a bear hug. "Where have you been?" she demanded, looking up at me with her clear green eyes. "I was worred about you. I thought that you might have decided you'd rather be somewhere else than listening to my lousy problems."

"Never!" I declared jokingly. I grabber her up and swung her around, her laughter filling the room. "I could never get tired of listening to your lovely voice." I set her down gently, then looked her straight in the eye and said, with my straightest face, "And you, little girl, should be tucked into bed asleep. Some people have school tommorow." She laughed and said innocently, "But I couldn't fall asleep with out you to hold me and sing me to sleep!" I picked up a stuffed animal and threw it at her, striking her square in the midriff. She fell upon the bed laughing. She tried to throw it back, but it passed harmlessly through me and hit the wall with a soft thump. She laughed harder, all the time yelling, "No fair! No fair!" Good thing she's got soundproof walls! If her parents had heard any of that racket, we could have gotten into serious trouble. She finally calmed down, and got into bed. She told me about her day, and all the fun she'd had . After the excitement of the day died down, she quieted and feel asleep in my arms, just like clockwork. It was in those quiet hours, every night, when I held her and and she went to sleep in my arms, was when I first realized just how much she meant to me. I loved her. But I couldn't tell her. Make that, wouldn't tell her. I don't know how it could have happened. I've only known her for a few days! I never used to believe in love at first first sight, but I guess I do now. But what should I do? I was here to help her, not cause her more problems. When she looks up at me, she sees a big brother, admittedly a strange sort of older brother, but an older sibling nevertheless. So I guess I would just have to hide my true feelings. She would never suspect a thing. I hope God knew what he was doing when he sent me. After all, Jesus never told me I'd fall in love with her.

I woke up early, groaning as I rolled over to turn off my alarm. Geez, it was still dark outside! I sat up and stretched, and looked over at my esk to see Barry sitting there, staring off into space. "Barry," I said, trying to get his attention, "wake up!" He looked at me blankly, then shook his head and mumbled good morning. Concerned, I walked over to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing. I went to check on my family yesterday, while you were gone, and I was thinking about them. To me it seems only days since I died, but when I saw them, they had aged years. My little brother, who was only 5 when I left, is a teenager. My mom looked like she's aged 20 years. It just depressed me, I guess." "Oh, Barry, is that why you wanted me to go out with my friends yesterday? Don't worry about it. I'm sure your family is fine, and still miss you very much. I would, if you had suddenly died and left me."

"Gee, thanks, Mercedes, I'm already dead!" he laughed.

I smiled too, then told him to get his butt out the door. "I have to get ready for school," I said when he protested.

"Well, I know when I'm not wanted!" he said, with mock hurt upon his face. He departed through the door, with his nose high in the air. I laughed, shook my head, and began to change clothes. I t was a little scary how much I'd began to depend on him in just a few short days. I relized I liked waking up to see him there smiling at me. He makes me feel safe at night, too, when he holds me close in his arms, and I don't wake up in the night trying to bite back a scream from whatever horrid nightmare I'd been having. When he's around, I never feel scared or unhappy. He was like Marissa and Angel, I guess, in that respect. But then again, he was different. I had only known him three days, but I felt like I'd know him ofrever. He was a guy, but so unlike all the guys I knew. He didn't make fun of me. He spoke to me, so that was definitely a big difference. He also made me feel special whe nI was around him. What would I do when his mission was finished? I didn't want to think about it, so I decided I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.

After I disappeared out the door, the smile left my face. I had lied when I said I was thinking about my family. It wsn't just my sadnes missing them, but I was thinking about hat would happen when my mission was over. I'd have to leave her behind, never seeing her again until her time on Earth was over. And then, I might never see her, because she might be like me, and be someone else's guardian angel. Her kind spirit and gentleness certainly made her a likely candidate. The thought about meade me scream. What was I going to do? I decided I would just try to bury my feelings for her, and just finish my assignment. Maybe after I was gone from her life forever, I could forget about her. But instead of making me feel better, the thought made me feel worse. I shook my head, and resolved to put the whole mess out of my mind. I peeked throught the door and asked if she was decent. She was sitting at the vanity table by the window, putting on her makeup. She turned and smiled at me, breaking my heart. I came in a took a seat at the desk, waiting for her to finish. She swept a brush once through the frothy mass of reddish-brown curls, and swept a backpack from the floor up onto her back. She was wearing a short flirty skirk, with longer leggings and a long sleeved ribbed shirt and a flowered vest. "Ready to go?" she asked.

Click here for Part V

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