Dirty Laundry

February 5, 1998

There is a nasty little lie that's been told, that I know about. I thought it was rather funny when I first heard about it, because its victim is someone I don't like, who has hurt me in the past, and hurt two other people that I care about.

One of those two people is the one who started that lie, and when I asked her about it the other day, she said she never intended to tell the victim otherwise.

Over the past week or so, I have been reading Marianne Williamson's The Healing of America, in which she states what she believes is wrong with America today, and what must be done to fix things. I believe she has the right idea, in that love is the solution to our problems, directly or indirectly.

At any rate, between reading the book and hearing my friend say that she never intended to tell the truth to the lie's victim, I started thinking it wasn't so funny anymore. Yes, this person hurt me, but who am I to say that she deserves to be a victim. Perhaps she has things to learn in her life, but what is being fed a lie going to teach her?

As I said, I don't like this person, and I find it very hard to forgive her for the many wrongs she's done (in my opinion, and perhaps in reality as well), but I think I need to find that forgiveness for her, and let the subject drop. It is not my place to tell her that she is the victim of a lie; I promised the liar that I wouldn't tell. But that does not stop me from appealing to the liar and asking her to change. I don't think she will change her mind, but if I don't ask, I'll never know, and I will be just as guilty of the lie as the person who started it.

If the victim were to ask me if it were true, I really don't know what I would say at this point; after all, I did promise. The likelihood that she will ask is fairly small -- we haven't communicated in months -- but you never know. I don't think it's fair to her, and I think my sense of fairness would probably win out.

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