Tuesday, June 23, 1998
I feel a bit like I'm on a raft, out in the middle of the ocean. For now, the water is calm, and I have a chance to catch my breath and relax. Any time now, though, I expect another big wave to come try to tip my raft over, leaving me clinging for dear life, or in this case, for dear love.
Heaven knows I love Jev, and I really wanted to spend some time with him this summer, but things just keep going wrong. Neither of us is really comfortable cooking down in Darrell's kitchen, so I've been living on m icrowavable frozen entrees for lunches, and we've gone out for just about every other meal, when Jev's home. That's not cheap, and now add to that the fact that I'm costing Jev an extra $200 in rent this month... and I feel bad about it.
As if that wasn't enough, we each got a rude little surprise yesterday. Jev found out Uncle Sam took almost one third of his paycheck, and I found out someone went into the freezer and tore open the covers of two of my lunches (the last two, of course), then put them back. My shredded cheese was already gone too (I'd had maybe 1/4 the package), but that, at least, is an understandable thing. Why, though, did someone open two frozen dinners, then throw them back in the freezer? *sigh* Darrell's neices are here taking care of him after he had surgery (at least, they're supposed to be; they're not very good at coming when he calls for them, or being very helpful), and I suspect that one of them did it. I've tried to be friendly with them, but I definitely get the feeling I am an unwelcome stranger, and they intend for it to stay that way. Needless to say, I'm feeling more and more unwelcome here.
I really don't know what the big deal is, though. Okay, so I take a shower almost every day, but is that a crime? I use a bit of power, too, running the computer, and the TV occasionally, and microwaving my lunches. But I always wait for the kitchen to be empty before I go down to eat, so I don't get in anyone's way, I clean up my messes when I'm done, and I spend 90% of the time shut in Jev's room, not causing anyone any trouble. What gives?
Part of me says I should call the airline and look into going home early. But I really don't want to pay the extra to change travel plans, and I really don't want to leave Jev before I have to. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me to leave, either.
He said when he talked to Darrell the other night, Darrell tried to sound like he really didn't mind, but Jev got the feeling that he did. *sigh* I guess the best we can do right now is just be as unobtrusive as possible, and hope for the best.
On another note, Jev told me this morning that he may need to start working late, tonight, and from what he told me, possibly other nights, too. But he also said that someone over him okayed it for me to come in with him, in the evenings and on weekends. So, it's not such a bad thing, I guess. If he's working in the lab, I can surf on his computer, with its nice, fast net connection. Or, I can just read, or write. It would get me out of here, into some nice cool, conditioned air, and most importantly, I'd be near Jev.
