Down Memory Lane (and back) Tuesday, May 5, 1998 -- 7:45 am This summer is going to be interesting. I only get to spend a little over a month with Jev, and there are so many things we want to do. Then I come home and my friend Delina will be coming by (and probably her mom and sister, too) on their way to their family picnic in Indiana. I've gone to it with them once before, and just visiting relatives with them one other time, and I'm wondering if they just might ask me to come along again. I don't think I would be happy though, not being able to hop online and talk to Jev. Especially if I'll be away a couple weeks. I guess we could manage it if we really had to, but I'd rather avoid that if possible. After Delina and company come through, I'll still have half a summer with no friends nearby, and need to keep myself entertained. Since Jev's renting a room from someone, he won't have his own phone line and be able to be online much, though he said he could telnet to IRC from work when he's not too busy, so I'm going to have to find something to do. Maybe I should go back to the library and talk to someone about volunteering in the computer lab. Part of me would really enjoy that. I like helping people, and I'm not half bad at the computer and Internet thing. It's the talking to people, and -- first and foremost -- the interview part that have me nervous. People in authority always do that to me. Whether it's doctors, teachers (okay, mostly male teachers if you come right down to it), principals... I remember in grade school, I used to be so afraid of being sent to the principal's office. One day, Aaron walked past my desk in class, on his way to the pencil sharpener or something, and whispered some mean thing to me. I must have been in a bad mood, because as he was on his way back, I stuck my foot into the aisle and tripped him. It wasn't enough to make him fall, he stumbled and that was all I really wanted. Just enough to let him know he couldn't get away with everything. Of course, the teacher (with whom I shared a mutual dislike -- one of a small handful of teachers I ever did dislike) only saw me trip him, and hadn't noticed whatever Aaron had said or done. Admittedly, whatever he had done probably wasn't much, but he'd been picking on me for the better part of two years, and that day I wasn't in the mood to take it. Anyway, instead of dealing with it herself (she could have given either or both of us detention slips), she sent us straight to the principal's office. He was off somewhere, so his secretary told the two of us to go sit in his office and think about what we'd done. We went in and sat down, and she closed the door after us. I think this must have been some time after Aaron exposed himself to me, because he and I both agreed to tell the principal that nothing had happened. I guess I believed at the time that I had done something wrong that day back in sick bay, and I didn't want to get in trouble for it any more than Aaron wanted me to tell Mr. DeMille about it. As fate would have it, the principal was gone for quite a while, and his secretary came in and asked us if we'd worked out our differences. We both said yes. She let us go, and if she ever told the principal about it, he never said anything to us. Whoa, talk about wandering from the subject!! Well, since I'm already strolling down memory lane... Yes, I got picked on a lot while I was in grade school. The funny thing was, this was supposed to be a Christian school. Out on the playground was when I'd get teased the worst. More than once, I think, I got the playground supervisor to stand just next to the corner of one of the buildings, and I'd walk out past the corner, where the boys who always picked on me were sitting at the tables, eating or playing something. They'd start calling me things like Igor, Hunchback of Notre Dame and the like, and what would the supervisor do? Nothing but tell them to knock it off. I had to listen to their taunts every day, and the supervisor did nothing but tell them to stop which lasted maybe five minutes. Fortunately, I did have a few friends, and every once in a while, someone came along who was more like my champion, defending me from the jerks. In the case that comes most to mind, he was also my first taste of puppy love. His name was Todd Buckwald, and I don't remember now if we first met in preschool, or if it was just our kindergarten year we spent together. Honestly, I don't remember getting teased back then, but I'm not sure if it just didn't happen (kindergarteners usually aren't so cruel as adolescent boys, in my experience), or if the years have erased the memories. I do remember playing in the sand area once and someone threw sand at me. Todd was there and jumped to my defense. I don't remember what he did back to the antagonizer, but he got benched for it, and he never complained. My mom always went to work early, so she would drop me off at day care an hour or more before school. She always made me sit in the back seat of the car (it was just me and her), and we always went to the same donut shop, where I'd get a white cake donut with chocolate or pink icing, and rainbow sprinkles. She'd pull into the school parking, next to the playground, and Todd would be right there, waiting to help me out of the car. We'd go off to a bench somewhere and share my donut, and then play until school started. At naptime, I had a little stuffed kitty pillow that my mom or maybe one of my sisters had sewn for me. It was one of those patterns that you cut out and stitch and stuff, and Todd had a brown puppy pillow that had obviously come from the same company. We'd always lay side by side for our naps, though more than that I don't really remember. I only have a couple pictures of Todd; one is in the yearbook from school, and then he's in one or two snapshots my mom took at a musical performance we did. My last memory of him was at kindergarten graduation, and I seem to recall him wearing a light blue suit, though I really can't be sure as it was so long ago. That summer, my mom remarried, and we moved away to San Gabriel. I guess I didn't have any idea we'd be moving, and never thought to get Todd's address, so we didn't keep in touch. The summer before fourth grade, with Mom's new husband only a memory (I think they divorced sometime after my seventh birthday), we moved back to where we'd lived before, and I went to summer day camp at the same school I'd gone to kindergarten at with Todd. There were still a few familiar faces, but it turned out Todd had moved away just after third grade. I never did find out where he went, and I've always wondered what became of him. Last Thanksgiving, Jevim and I went to his parents' house for the holiday, and while I was there, he showed me his family's photo albums. Now, Jev's hair is near as dark as mine, sort of a medium-dark brown, but in his pictures when he was younger, he has the same blonde hair and blue eyes Todd always had. I never thought I'd find another Todd, but you know what? I think I have. I know very well he'd stand up for me in any fight, against any bully that came along. We may not have shared donuts, but I'm sure bagels must count. He's helped me out of the back seat of his parents' car a time or two, and there aren't many things nicer than cuddling up beside him for an afternoon nap. Jevim makes me feel so wonderful; how could I not love him? || Previous Entry | Next Entry || || Home | Journal Index || < back two < previous < [ list all | next five | random ] This Webring site owned by Lisana. > next > ahead two > [ about open pages | about webring ]