Submission: |
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This one is tough. I tend to tread softly on matters biblical but this one has to be covered. I couldn't touch this issue for a long time without spitting nickels because my abuser "got religion" after I left. Something that was so very important to me was being used to beat me up! I couldn't believe that God would allow that to happen. It did. Of course it was used as the reason I should return "in accordance with God's Will." Not that that was the first time he confused his will with God's.
After I had gone to him for help, a pastor counseled me to return to my abusive spouse with instructions to work a little harder to make the marriage work. When ever my husband threatened me or hit me, I was to pray as David did in the Psalms for deliverance from his enemies. I did. It didn't help the situation as far as I could tell by the bruise count. I stayed, praying and getting hit for 6 more years. |
Okay, to be totally honest toward the end I prayed for his untimely demise, but I was still praying. I was rather specific in my prayers. You are supposed to be specific, aren't you? I was very specific down to describing the form of the unfortunate accident that would make me a widow. I included specifications regarding the post-accident condition of our only car should God see fit to take him while he was behind the wheel. I asked the Lord to only have him linger at death's door no more than three days as I really didn't think I could do the worried wife at bedside thing for more than that and I needed a few days to find black dress for the funeral. After all, Lord, you know I don't have anything appropriate to wear. Oh, and The Lord's Will be done. I would try to stoically carry on with His help. Seems that confusing God's will with ones own is not all that unusual, eh? Well, I was just covering my bases. Somebody had to take charge of this thing! As far as I could tell, God had kind of dropped the ball where my safety and that of my son was concerned. Even if I had some how deserved this cosmically crappy karma, I knew my son didn't. What was up with that? |
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It was when my prayers went from, "Lord change/fix him . . ." to "Lord, give me the strength to do what I have to do" that I started to see a difference. The difference was in me. I had the feeling that God was staying, "It's about time! You are such a smart lady. Mind if I ask what took you so long?" It was almost as if God was on the other side of the door just waiting for me to open and go through it all these years! Who knew!
Emboldened by what I was sure was God's new plan for my life, I went to see the pastor of my then current church. I knew what I had to do but for GP I wanted to make sure I wasn't skewing the message.
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This pastor listened to my story, cried with me as I told it - which totally blew me away, and counseled me to leave.
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Submission does not mean I, as a wife, become an automaton and check my brain at the alter as soon as I say, "I do" and what ever he says is final. It is not in God's Plan that I get brutalized, demeaned, belittled by my husband. How can it be? If God wants the best for ALL God's children, what's that make me? Where do I fit in? Am I lesser child of God than God's other children? NO! And I won't believe anyone who says I am. |
| (here we go) I Colossians 3:18 New International Version 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. |
Look here.
Hearing something about not seeking counsel from non-believers?
It's right there in God's Word. But look at all of it. Not just the parts that prove a particular point. And then go with your gut.
