The key to prevention of violence, is know the DANGER SIGNALS to look for before violence erupts. The danger signals can be determined by learning about a man's attitudes about himself, about women, about the marriage relationship, about what ideal sex would be like, what turns him on, what turns him off, and whether violence or use of force play a part.

• If a man and woman can't talk about their goals and expectations before marriage, there are bound to be occasions for anger later. Verbal warnings about beatings to come should not be ignored. You should say calmly, "What do you mean by that?"
• Abuse during a dating relationship before marriage is a GUARANTEE of future abuse.


• Does you partner try to control your behavior, your phone conversations, your contact with your friends or family? Does he refuse to allow you outside the home, even to work? Does he try and isolate you in any way?
• Do you need his permission before doing anything, buying food, writing checks? Does he dictate what you wear, what you say?
If your partner drinks too much, does he take out his frustrations on you in an abusive manner?
• Is your partner overly critical of everything about you? Does he constantly say negative things about you like "you're stupid, incompetent, you can't do anything right."
• Does he "punish" you and tell you that he beats you for your own good or to keep you in line?
• Is your partner insanely jealous? Does he accuse you of things you never did?
• Did you or your partner witness or experience physical abuse as a child?