Lothlorien

Lady Laurel's Thoughts
On
Alcoholism

Alcoholism is a terrible disease - not only for the alcoholic but for his or her family and victims as well. I have been there. I spent six years with a man who claimed drinking was not a problem for him. Maybe it wasn't for him, but it sure was for the rest of the family. I have been through his late times home, his rages, the name calling and the belittling, his numerous apologies and empty promises, his threats to leave, my worry, my guilt at making him drink because he told me I was the reason he drank. I was not the only victim. His children were also victims, too, and while he spent weekends drinking and sleeping on the sofa, I was left to handle his teenage sons who hated me because he told them, too, that I was the reason he drank. What was worse, this all went on in MY house.

Why one tolerates such living conditions is not easy to explain. Fear of being financially alone, loving the sober side of this person, losing his side of the family that you've grown very close to - each victim has many reasons for putting up with an alcoholic. I finally gave him a choice - the beer or me. He took the beer. So the next time he threatened to leave me, I took him up on it, helped him and his boys pack, and they moved out. The emotional ties were still there, and it was a long time before I got over him, but I did.

Still not convinced? Then go here to read another woman's experience with an alcoholic.

So you see, my friend? There IS hope. I am also now married to a wonderful man who is my lover, my very best friend, and my soulmate. I am finally happy, at peace, and am surrounded by a security I have never known. You can find yourself there, too.

Alcoholism knows no age or gender, either. Recently in this area, a woman was drinking at a social function involving her daughter. When it ended, a friend of hers offered to drive her and her daughter home. She declined. They then asked her to please let them take her daughter home. She declined again. On the way home, she missed a turn while passing a car at a high rate of speed and slammed the car into a house and a tree. Her daughter was killed. The driver lived. Another innocent bystander killed because of drunken stupidity. The newspapers are full of stories such as this each and everyday.

An alcoholic CAN change, but THEY have to WANT to change. There are so many avenues of help today for alcoholics. All they have to do is take that first step of admitting they have a problem, reach out, and let someone take their hand before they drown in a bottle.

Are you or someone you love an alcoholic? Click here to test yourself.

Are you troubled by someone else's drinking? Click here to take a quiz.

The 12 Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood_Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.