Just Thoughts

Here I am, calmly breathing.
Looking back, looking forward.
Turning point.
Finding confidence,
Becoming proud of who I am,
Realizing I have alot to give,
I can make a difference.
Discovering enjoyment,
Finding relaxation
Learning to trust myself.
Finding courage
Finding strength
Learning faith.
Here I am, calmly breathing,
one step, one day, taking it slow.
Learning from the past,
overcoming the present,
hoping for the future.
Turning point

Unexpected turns, changes for better, changes for worst.
Change isn't fun, change isn't pleasant, but it always comes--
unexpected or expected, hoped for or not.
Change is what makes life lively,
Change is what keeps us on our toes and on our knees.
Change is what makes us who we are.
Change helps us grow, overcome and conquer.

The brutal reality of my dreams crashing to the ground.
Once again, they are only dreams to be sought after.
What was once my life is now like the moon~
I can see it, but will never be able to touch it with my own hands.

A turn of a page,
A new book to compile.
A new set of circumstances,
something worthwhile.
Done for the right reasons,
Here I am, making my own decisions.

Frustration, stress, responsibilities.
It's my choice, do I let them overtake me or do I overtake them?
Strength, control, confidence.
I have gained everything by facing my most dreaded fears.

What is love- but to die to ones self.
To reject the person inside and masquerade for those one the outside.
Is it possible to have the inner me accepted and desired as well as the outside?
The curse of being beautiful on the outside, is that they take me at face value and desire no more.
Shut up, you're just to look at.
Seen and not heard is what the men want,
or are they men at all?

My vision is clouded as I slip into a coma of undesired desires.
Wrapped up in your touch- fate, or temptation?

My room is a very small tabernacle for such a meaningful thing.
Me.
My life, my quiet place of rest,
and yet I can still hear the unrest on the other side of the door.
The bickering, the whining, the complaining.
Away. Take me away.

Harmless flirtations... underlying truth.
Trying to tell you how I honestly feel--
if I say it playfully enough I can check you reaction.
If there is some encouragement then perhaps my honesty will be portrayed more honestly.
If you do not wish to proceed, do not encourage me-
for I leap at every aromatic word that comes out of your mouth.
If you do not wish this, if you are leading me on-
Stop. Stifle yourself.
I am but a fragile heart~
that is why I'm 'protecting' myself with 'harmless flirtations'.