Life in the Watchtower Inferno

Authors Name Withheld

I am an innocent victim of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, being born into this cult.  My parents were at first raised in orthodox Christian religions, but were converted at early ages.  When I was little, about age four, I remember being taken to the meetings, being picked up by strangers saying how cute I was.  I was miserable at meetings, and I tended to fidget in my seat.  Of course, I’d get “spanked” for this  –   blows so painful that they could be felt the next day.  Naturally I was crying before, during, and after meetings.

We used to live near a major city, but before I finished elementary school we moved to the suburbs.  This was fortunate for me – since my parents were strapped for cash, they decided to open a pet store business, which led them into the state of inactivity.

I should have enjoyed my freedom better while it lasted.

At school, I made friends with non-JWs, which gave me a taste of diversity – something you don’t find among minors at the KH.  I became enraptured by dark fiction and fantasy novels (which are deemed “spiritistic” by the JWs.)   Later on I began to write my own stories – seeing that I had talent and skill to become a fiction writer, I worked hard to perfect my craft, writing many stories.

Meanwhile, close relatives who were (and still are) deep into the cult  were bugging my parents out of their inactive state; my aunts who visit once in a while got rides to the nearby KH by our neighbors (what irony!) Also, Mom and Dad were still fighting over money, and our pet store business was going under.  Before I entered junior high, the pet store went out of business.

This is where my downward spiral into hell began…

One of my visiting aunts made acquaintance with a sister who “conducted Bible studies” (AKA indoctrinated people), and the two arranged a study behind my back – without even telling me!  I didn’t even know the sister when she came to my house and said that she “heard” that I was “interested” in a study.  Not wanting to seem rude, I unwillingly accepted it. A fatal mistake indeed!
 

These studies cut into my time for homework and story writing; my grades slipped because I was spending so much time with this sister.  Also around this time I was being bullied because of being the study-bound bookworm that I am.  I was having nightmares and day hallucinations all the time.  I thought I’d receive consolation from the sister, but sometimes she would make fun of me as well! Not being able to handle her sarcasm, I stopped the study.

By the time I entered high school, I thought it was time something be done with my nightmares and hallucinations – I consulted the school psychologist and explained my problem; he helped me by making arrangements for psychotherapy.  The first time I met her, I was very fond of her.  I could tell her anything! She was like a best friend who really cared for me.  I thought things were looking up from here….

After barely a month and a half, I had to cancel my therapy sessions because my parents could no longer afford to pay.  Now my relatives were on my case to start back my study; around this time my parents were gradually becoming active again, which added to the pressure.  Just so everyone would shut up about it, I stared the study again.

About four to six months went by, and I thought I was developing a relationship with this sister, but I noticed that she knew more about my life and personal interests than I knew about her own (probably because she doesn’t have one!)  I later saw why: my interest in Japanese animation (notorious for its graphic violence and “nudity”) sent a shockwave throughout the KH.  One day, after coming home from school, I was met up with a minor who recently came to our hall, and explained that her interest in Japanese animation caused her to be “visited by demons” – anyone can take a look at this girl and see she’s not right in the head!  I was accused of being “demon possessed” because of my possessions; they were taken away from me and destroyed. Including my own writing.

I was devastated, shocked, and above all appalled and bitter.  I had thought of the JWs as being nice people, but I now saw that they were anything but.  After this incident, I had a few arguments with my parents; I tried to explain that I felt that what they did to me was wrong, but they would bombard me with (altered) Scripture, thinking that I must still  be under “demon control”.  Immediately I saw that something was wrong, not only with my parents and those in the KH that I knew, but the group as a whole.  I had a suspicion that they were a cult, but I was not sure how to verify my hypothesis.

Thanks to the Internet, I was able to do so.  The very first page I hit was Free Minds, Inc.; a web site with a plethora of information about JWs and what they do to people.  I was shocked and yet glad to see that I was not the only one suffering at the hands of these people.  I noticed the contradictions in their doctrine: if God does not force people to serve them, why am I being dragged to the KH, and being forced to study with my parents against my will?  Why are the JWs so bent on converting people and keeping them in the group? Why is that when someone chooses to leave the group, they are looked down upon as if they were quasi-human or something?  Why would God only favor the JWs if the Bible says that God is not partial?

Alas, there is nothing I can do to improve my life situation at the moment – I am entering my last year of high school, hoping to get scholarships and grants for college.  I still write my stories despite the risk of having them destroyed.  I have non-JW friends that I keep contact with as my support circle.  And I keep in mind that soon I will be able to leave home and do as I please.  I know I am not a bad person, despite what the JWs are saying.  I know that my family is trying to do their damnedest to sway me from attaining my dream of becoming a best-selling dark fiction novelist.  I know better not to give into the JWs and become one of their clones.  I ignore the JW doctrine listing that one cannot do this and that – one can do anything; it’s a matter of ignoring the word “impossible”.