Dear Francesca,

Why is it that I cannot often enjoy the free time I have now? Why can't I put it to good use? So often I don't feel motivated to do anything but eat or sleep. I feel like the mood stabilizer I am on has dulled me, or perhaps it is just the depression that dulls me. So often I want to write, but the words won't come or they are so plain, so bare, so empty.

I read parts of Simple Abundance recently and became intrigued with the idea of doing some self-discovery. There are so many issues going on in my life right now, and I usually want to just push them away or ignore them. Reading the book made me feel excited to explore facets of my life, but when it comes down to actually doing so, I haven't, except in the few letters I have written to you.

I look at these words I have written and feel that they are so dull. In some ways, I feel as if part of the life has been drained out of me. I think that is partly the fault of the three medicines I take. But yet they keep me stable, most of the time. Oh Franney, this doesn't seem like any kind of life. Some minutes I am fine, but others, such as now, I feel quite hopeless.

Yours,
Hannah Iona