WHERE IS THE CALGON
WHEN I NEED IT, ANYWAY?
Leslie Anderson
February 26, 1999
Today, as I type this, I am remembering a year ago yesterday, the day I went on bedrest for preterm labor with my twins, and I think about all the changes my life has gone through in a year. How I went from being a mother of one, with some semblance of order and organization, to a mother of three . . .[interruption by a preschooler determined to draw me "a pickchur for Mommeeeeee!"]
. . .a mother of three, all of said children being under the age of 3, in a house where chaos rules. What happened? What changed? [Mommy, I want Barney!!!!!]
I pop a Barney tape in for my oldest daughter's daily dose of what my friend Karen calls "Neglectovision". A big sigh. Now I can get back to writing.
Phone rings. I get up to answer it, spilling a tumbler of Kool-Aid on my lap. ARG! 15 minutes and a dry pair of pants later, I am back at the computer.
Phone rings again. I opt to let the answering machine pick it up this time, leaving the volume up in case it's something really important.
"Honey, pick up please". I pick up. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be a bit late coming home tonight 'cause I've gotta a)go to the gym, b)stop by a friend's house, or c)pick up a useless piece of gadgetry that will sit around the house for years before I ever use it." (Feel free to choose one.)
"Yeah, whatever." Click.
I scramble back to the computer, mentally calculating exactly how much time I have left to work before the twins get up from their nap, even though I can no longer remember what I was going to write about.
It's now 12:15 . . .tick . . .tick . . .I dash out a few sentences, pleased with myself that they're spelled and punctuated correctly, nevermind that they should make any sense.
"Mommyyyyyy! I want another Barney, pease!" In goes another tape featuring the Big Purple Thing, and off I go to the office. Let's see . . .sleep deprivation, frayed nerves, an inability to converse with anyone over the age of 3, diminished sense of humor (my hubby added that one!), and . . .yeah, now I know how my life has changed! Now I remember what I wanted to write!
"Waaaahhhhhhhhh!" **************************************************************************************
Next installment: "An Alarm Clock Rant"
