BECOMING MY OWN INDIVIDUAL

FINDING THE REAL ME

Then came the struggles which taught me many lessons; but most important of all it taught me that there is a God. Proved to me beyond any doubt; God does exist.

I went through a period of elation over the new found freedom of not having to answer to anyone but myself and not being told what I can do or cannot do. But then that was replaced by; what am I doing, where am I going, why are all these things happening to me? Why in relationships with people all the hurt and no happiness in these encounters?

I will never forget the night I called upon God for answers to all my questions. The answers came by way of writing -- thoughts that were floating into my head; clammoring around until I wrote them down. It was truly inspiring to me. I never knew what was being written until reading it and was curious as to where the thoughts were coming from as they weren't like me.

There were some setbacks though that made me wonder if I did the right thing by separating myself from the man. Times came when all looked hopeless; thoughts came, "I wish I was married and had a man to help," but then the times worked out as I put my belief in God. The more I gave myself and put myself in God's care, the better and easier things went. He would take care of me and it was so! It didn't make all the problems not happen but it was easier to get through these problems as a lesson was learned from these encounters.

The first year I was alone was the most enriching period in my life - living without a man. Through this I became acquainted with myself...learned to love myself and accepted myself for what I was.

All during this period; I was developing spiritually - as was the self of me. Being myself, as I felt to be; not being influenced by what others thought was right for me but what I felt was right for me. Gradually I was becoming a happier self. A calm inner peace began spreading inside me so that it totally consumed all of my inner-self.

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