just got done watching 'apt pupil' on hbo or something... lol.. what a fucked up movie to watch on easter... but i guess i'm just stupid like that.
let's see.. i haven't updated in a while.. dunno why...
i went to the junior prom with james... and the night was great.. i mean, i know i had fun.. and i ended up in his arms at the end of the night. and it was sweet and everything that it should have been.
so i went away to a camp for four days to be a student counselor.. and it was cool... i missed james the entire time..
but i get back and things are changed... everything seems different. i really don't know what's going on.. just that i seem to be getting myself fucked over again. james likes this other girl that works at the place he just quit. and it just sucks i guess... i dont' quite understand it.. he never even talked to me about it... it just happened.. and he just started to drift away... so this whole week, i've been like, going insane because i have no idea what's going on with him... i know that he has some sort of interest in this other girl... but he keeps showing signs that he still has interest in me... he still does flirty little things.. like stealing my scrunchie.. and tonight when he said goodbye he put his hands on my shouders and like, gave me a quick massage.. and then whispered goodbye in my ear... arrgh!.. i don't understand him at all.
part of me hates how he treated me... and i just want to not be involved with him.. but the other part was starting to seriously fall for him... and i just feel played with and thrown away right now... ::sigh:
i just need to talk to him about this... just a little talk.. set things straight.. see if i'm out of the picture for good or not... i dont' want to be out of the picture... but i'd like to know.. ya know?...
