4/2/98 Oh Chris. Why! I just read a letter that Christine(his ex) sent to him. It had a lot of surprising things in it. I mean...I can understand the sex...and maybe the smoking...but that letter..even depressed me. He's drinking 4-5 days a week...that letter will make him want to drink himself to his death. I feel so weird. I mean, he's supposed to be the older influence...the example that I'm supposed to follow. Am I to be a reeking of smoke and yellow-toothed drunk? I don't want to follow that. I'm so upset. I mean, I don't want to lose my brother. He can be a real ass sometimes...but he has his reasons. Christine isn't exactly the best chick in the world. She's a slut. Supposedly, my brother accused her of being "loose"...and giving blow jobs to every guy that looked at her the right way. I sorta believe it. She's changed a lot. She's not the 17 year old I used to know..and sorta hate...but feel good for because my brother was so incredibly sweet to her. It's just that I hate my life already...but I don't want my whole family to have shitty lives...ya know? If anyone reads this...and has been in a similar situation or whatever...I have no idea who reads this goddamned thing. Please email me. I need some serious advice. I don't want him doing anything drastic. I do love my brother...very much.
