3/28/98Oy, I think I'm so goddamn fuckin bored. i can't take it. i haven't slept in so long...just a few naps here and there. i want to do something tonight so bad, and...yet, i don't know what. lola has drill team or something. i guess i'll try to get a little deep with this entry. haha yeah right. i really don't care if anyone reads this goddamned thing. it just makes me mad that i put a lot into it...and nothing comes out from it. does this page have imperfections or something? i'm reading catcher in the rye...and next i want to read the great gatsby...and then maybe nine stories...i'm on a big reading thing...since i don't do much anymore...i might as well read. anyways, cather in the rye is jules' favorite book...i think. i just wanted to see if it's what she cracks it up to be. it's pretty good so far. haha ackley reminds me of my brothers annoying friends...anyways...just so may imperfections in him...and he doesn't realize it...it's like with annoying people, they never know how annoying they really are...and how much they get on peoples' nerves...i know i'm annoying...but at least i can 'fess up to it. and i know i'm lazy...and i know i have no ambition for life, and knowing all this makes me a better person? i have no idea what makes a person good...or intelligent...is it there artsy and creative sides? is it their sense of humor? what is it? i just read a journal entry from a guy named Isaac. he's cool..he has a tattoo of Bam bam on his arm..anyways..he was talking about masturbation...and what he said was so true! if someone gets all defensive when you ask them if they masturbate...then chances are that they do, and just arent' comfortable with being honest with themselves. i'm talking to bryan...ugh...he's complaining 'cause he's bored. what the hell am i supposed to do about it? i'm bored myself...i'm bored out of my fucking mind...and i'm so fuckin tired of him goddamn complaining to me! he's just bored because jules isn't on or something...there's no one on...there's no on interesting to talk to...THEN DONT' WASTE MY GODDAMNED TIME! grrr...i want to do something...but then i dont' want to do it with bryan...well at least part of me doesn't. it's just a pain in the ass.
