6/17/98 ok, so i had a big shpeel on here about my grandfather..if you were lucky enough to catch it, then you know what i'm talking about. if not, it's not loss. reading it made me too upset. and it also looked like i was yearning for pity or something. anyways, onto more current things.
i change the colors and stuff of the main page, i sorta like it...i was getting tired of it, but i'll end up going back to the old thing. :)
i saw the truman show last night. don't get me wrong, it was a good movie...but i just wish that they showed a little bit of truman and sylvia like...meeting. ya know? anyways, it was a good movie...very different...it made me grasp a whole new concept...our lives could be taped for the viewing pleasure of some unknown population...our lives could be broadcasted live over some thing. we'd never know.
i got a new cd...goldfinger. i remember one of their songs came out on the radio like 2 years ago. 'here in your bedroom'...it's the only good song on the whole thing..i think. but it's given me closure..i have been looking(on and off) for this cd forever. i tried to get the save ferris cd, but you have to specially order it from barnes and nobles. i guess i'll check our mall's cd store.
on a more personal note...i've already written about the good time i had at the party. yesterday was freaky tho. bryan actually called me. i mean, it wasn't that big, but in a way it was. he sorta broke a new barrier i guess you could say. anyways, he just told me that there was something important waiting for me online. i got all scared...thoughts about everything were running through my mind. i was scared that he was gonna say something like mushy and stuff...or something about andra and i going to the movies. but it turns out that it was just about apologizing. he had said a somewhat rude comment to me about being lazy...and i get enough of it from my family...so it pissed me off of course. it was nice he said some really cool things. lemme quote a bit.
"i really don't want you thinking that... i mean, how could I like you if you didn't make me happy and whatever else? i couldn't! my only reason for going to school for the last half of the year or so was to see you.... now that there is no school, I probably can't see you everyday and THAT is something that upsets me"
and... "I can't tell you how much I liked saturday night. the last half hour, that is. not to mention dancing with you, I always love that."
it was so nice of him. i really do like a lot of things about bryan. but sometimes i'm not interested. i feel bad. one day i'm being smothered by him..and the next i'm in his arms and loving every second. i guess this happens because i have never been in a 'relationship' where a guy has actually liked me. i've always been putting my feelings out. ugh...it's so odd. i need advice. i need it bad.
oh yeah...the night of the party...he gave me two candles...which was cool. he remembered that i liked candles..they smelled good too. :) summer..summer everywhere
