(10:53pm EST) 7/30/98
i'm in such a depressed mood today.
but what else is new?
i called lanner today! i was watching our local tv station thingy, and her name was on it..only spelled wrong. she's on the junior olympic field hockey team! anyways, leave it to the morons from my state to fuck up a perfectly easy name to spell. jeez.
i'm really getting pissed off with geocities. i am so fucking tired of their goddamned pop up things...i've been viewing sources..and the code is everyone! i can't edit them out either. it's not fair damnit. if anyone is reading this and can reccomend me a better server that doesn't have pop-ups..and is somewhat easy to navigate and such, email me, please! (or if someone is nice enough to give me some space on their domain name. ;)
okay, i know it's odd...but i have like..kissing on my mind. i can't beat the thought out of my mind...i keep dozing off and waking up to realize what i've been dreaming about. it's just odd...i've never had dreams of that sort. i dunno... not necessarily kissing bryan, but just me kissing someone.. i'm odd...i can admit it.
my mom's taking me to get disposable contacts tomorrow..and after that shopping for clothes...i might as well get the back to school shit done now...while the picking's are good. i need new jeans, badly...and new shoes...and new shirts... lol. only thing i don't need is a bag... ugh..okay, ajay...enough with the clothes...enough!
lola and my bud margot have me thinking about the junior/senior social a lot now. damn them! this is just really odd...i can't believe i'm so old now. where the hell does the time go? i don't know if i should be happy as hell to get out of high school...or sad to leave all of my friends behind and embark on new grounds... it's all too confusing.
twenty days 'till my birthday. woopdee-doo. i'm not excited at all.
okay...i'm obsessed with blues clues...that computer animated puppy is so fucking cute it gives me a cavity. jeez..look at me..i turn something as innocent as a childrens show into something evil with my horrible mouth. i really need help. i curse so much...i sound like a new yorker but i don't even live in the state. not that NYers are bad...i love them..they're freakin funny. the cab drivers over-use their index finger privileges way too much, tho.
chris is away for the whole weekend. i guess it's cool.
bryan is like in a super depressed mood. it's hard to talk to him. he pushes me away everytime i try to talk to him. i have no idea if i did it to him...or if he's just down because of other reasons. andra thinks that he's in a depression because he doesn't have a girlfriend. which is somewhat true. she also described him as 'used' and that she wouldn't want to go out with someone like him. that sorta hurt my feelings...but hey, she was being honest. it's a lot more than i get from some of my other friends.
andra and i have grown really close...she's like one of my best friends...including luna and lola... i feel i've grown apart from my other friends. it's probably me, but a lot of them have changed...some good some bad... but times change people, and i hold nothing against anyone anymore. i figure that time is too precious to waste on minor details...except for a few that i stress over...but... it's just the way i react to things...
reactions can kill...if they're the wrong ones. luna wrote a poem...perfectly named 'hypocrite'. it was beautiful. maybe if i get her permission i will slap it up on my page one day(giving her full credit of course!)
my foot has fallen asleep like 5 times today...god. wake the hell up!!
i've been drawing a lot... i really love most of the drawings..there's this one that i drew where the girl is sleeping..under a sheet..and she looks so peaceful..almost as if she's dead...but not...just in a deep trance... i want to get it scanend so damned bad
i've been drawing mostly for andra's poems. she's publishing some of her poetry in a book..and i'm the illustrator. yay! i really need to submit some stuff into our school's literary magazine this year...well..submit more rather.
one more day of july. one more day till all the stupid back to school commercials start pouring onto my lovely tv.
i need to seriously change the layout of this page. if you have any suggestions...lemme know. :)
