(4:56pm EST) 8/15/98
got the save ferris cd. it's sorta good. :)
there's this one song called sorry my friend..reminds me of me and bryan right now. ugh. man, so does this song little differences.
"i wrote this song for you to say i'm sorry. i know that i was wrong and you, don't like me, why, why, why. must you feel this way? i wish i had the words i needed to say 'cause you and me, we disagree on everything and everyone"
::sigh::
you go one way and i'll go anoher, when nothing seems to work then why should we bother, we've let these little differences tear us apart, they're breaking up our friendship, and they're breaking my heart, you need me and i need you, if only we could see this though, you go left, and i'll go right..."
ugh.
well let's see.
chris and i ordered this throw blanket with their names and 'happy anniversary' embroidered on it. it was pretty expensive..but worth it. i mean, it is their 25th. and if my mom can put up with my dad's shit for that amount of time..she should throw in her her motherly towel and be named a saint.
this is not a good week at all..i'm sorta glad that tomorrow is the start of a new one. last night me and my brother were being assholes and running around the house.. i, being the klutzy one, ran into a wall...amazing how it's been there forever and i suddenly start running into it.. hmm. i did something bad to my toe..it hurts like hell. it's not broken...i'd know, cause i'd be in horrible pain.
haven't talked to lola in a while..i wonder if she's still alive. i feel as if i'm growing apart from all of my friends. definitely jules..haven't seen her since june 28th. zoe.. i talk to her online... sammy..haven't talked to him..bryan is not talking to me... being an asshole like normal.. andra..she works a lot so she rarely gets a chance to hang out and when she does..she spends it with tom. luna is on her western frontier vacation.
i've been baking brownies a lot. ::laughs:: i baked a batch yesterday morning at like 5am. just shows you how much i'm lacking in the life department.
the thing that amazes me is that even though i've been doing nothing..and have had all the time in the world.. i've done nothing at all. like..i haven't updated this last since... hmm.. the 9th?
my birthday is coming up.. august 19th...the big 1-6.. whatever. it's no big deal. my grandmother gave me a pair of silver earrings..they're pretty nice for a grandmother gift. :)
i went to the mall today to get my parents a gift...i saw this girl michelle... she's as shallow as a kiddie pool. ::roll of her eyes:: and surprisingly she was carrying some bag filled with crap from american eagle.. i still shop there frequently..but it used to be so cool when no one else did. but then all the trendoids popped in. you can't be original anymore..it sucks. and the only way that you can be original is to make your own stuff or do something to something you buy that no one else would think of..which is hard to do. it's not like i have to stand out..well, maybe i do. i like standing out..i like having a different idea. i like getting compliments from people..maybe it's shallow.. maybe it's just a way for me to believe that i am somebody..and a nobody.
it's hard to be somebody when there are a whole group of people on the offense trying to be somebody too. but most of them are failures... most of them try to be different and just fail horribly.
ugh..did that make sense at all? sorry i'm just venting.
my words of the day are.. horrible..and ridiculous. :) enjoy!
