Saturday, 17 July 1999

The stress and pressures of nursing school is starting to take its toll on me. :( I woke up this morning feeling awful - I think I'm getting sick soon. :(

I struggled to get out of bed and prepare for school. My landlady looked at me with this odd expression when she saw me scuttling about and said, "You do know this is Saturday, don't you?" hehehe! She thought I had gotten my days mixed up. ;)

We had booked the clinical lab for our practice today. The lab is actually a simulated 4-bedder ward. We wanted to have more practice taking blood pressure and so we decided to set aside an hour this morning for it.

I'm glad to report that I'm getting pretty competent at taking BP (blood pressure) readings. :) I'm starting to enjoy it! In fact, I was quite reluctant to pack up the equipment and vacate the lab when our hour was up. Oh well, I guess someday in future, I'll have to do it so often I'll actually not even think about it. ;)

Well, I'd like to give vent here about a group of my classmates. So far, I've had some pretty unpleasant experiences with some of them. They are of a minority group and well, let's just say that I know now what an American friend meant when she expressed disgust and contempt at the minority groups in her country who would only clique with their own kind and speak in their own language, even when other people are in their midst. It not only ostracises you, it makes you fume because, well, it's just such a rude and insensitive gesture. Here, I'm among the majority race so I don't feel it as much but whenever I attempt to converse with them or inadvertently mingle with that small group, I am immediately given a dose of how it feels like to be a 'minority'. It certainly makes me realise how much effort has to be made to put people of all races and dialect groups at ease with you and the awful experience also let me realise in a way, that if I were to ever venture overseas for further education and/or to work, I have to be especially sensitive not to offend the people of my host country by exhibiting a 'them-against-us' sort of attitude and demeanour. It came to the point when I would ask one of them a question or tell one of them something and immediately, with utterly no regards for your feelings, they would start conducting a conversation across you, and might I add, THROUGH you, as if you were invisible, in their own language and you're totally left out. One thing this kind of action does to you is to reinforce whatever prejudice or dislike you already have. I try not to but I'm human and it's hard. What it does make me want to do in future, is to limit my contact with this group as much as possible, because the experiences so far have all been unpleasant. I'm not going to be discriminatory because I have friends of minority races whom I respect and am fond of. Let's just say that nobody wants to voluntarily return to something / someone that had already proven to be thoroughly unpleasant.

I've also learnt from the foreign students here. Some are extremely likeable, they are curious about their host country and culture, they ask questions, they want to know and be a part of society here, for as long as they are here. Others can't wait to tell you how much better their home country is, yada-yada-yada. Makes you want to tell them to their face, "Well, go back then, since everything back home is so great." I was pretty astounded at how such behaviour can be obnoxious and I spoke to one of my close friends about this experience. She was educated overseas and she said she squirmed with embarrassment each time someone from the same country made such rude, tactless remarks when they were with the natives there. I think I can learn from this too - when I eventually further my studies overseas, I would know how to be a gracious foreign student. I'm glad I got to learn via observation and not first-hand!

I'm kinda proud actually, that I do manage to control my displeasure and anger much much better than I used to be when working. I guess I've learnt albeit, via painful first-hand experiences, what I should and should not do as well as how to handle irritation and anger. I'm also pretty proud that I have learnt to take things with a pinch of salt and not seethe over the issue for a whole day and night, and many more besides. :) I'm determined that I'll make full use of the next three years in school to shed the bad temperament I picked up in the tense and aggressive workplaces I've worked in and let the good ol' me resurface again. I know I still have that patience in me, that empathy and love for people (afterall, I used to befriend people in primary (junior) school who were ostracised by the crowd) and that all it takes is a little scraping away of the surface dirt to uncover it once more. :)

Looks like nursing school has an unwritten module - Lessons in Life.

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