serenity



	We as women understand the various demands on our time, talents and mental health. There are numerous internal factors that we must deal with on top of external ones, such as PMS. Men simply don't get it. We mustn't be too hard on them, they have no frame of reference for such things, so it's beyond their comprehension. Men must experience something first hand before they can understand it. Women, however, tend to be more empathetic, allowing them to put themselves in the situation and grasp somewhat what it must be like. This talent comes from our complex emotional structure that males often bemoan. However irrational we as women seem to males at times, and however excessively emotional we are, there is nothing wrong with it and we are well within our rights because the Heavenly Father designed us that way, and He did it for a reason.
	This does not excuse us to behave as stark raving lunatics whenever we are having a bad PMS day. We as women are faced with a challenging task--that of learning to deal with the internal factors that pull at us and unbalance us emotionally at different times in our lives. It truly is a case of mind over matter. That doesn't mean it is easy. Our minds and emotions are a very powerful force. It is difficult to forge on when physically we are not up to the task. Our position is not appreciated or valued by males as it should be, but then we are back to that frame of reference hinderance. Take comfort in the fact that your Heavenly Father does understand. He created you this way and has an ultimate purpose for your life in doing so. Our responsibility on earth is to find that purpose to the best of our ability.
	All of our problems come down to sin. This doesn't mean that because you are having a bad day there is sin in your life; it also doesn't mean that there isn't. No, because of sin we face trials, temptations, testing and spiritual warfare. These are the source of the difficulties we face. As a Christian we need to step back and try to determine which it might be, and to examine our lives to make sure there isn't sin in our lives.
	Search me, O God, and know my heart;
	try me and know my thoughts.
	and see if there be any wicked way in me,
	and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23,24

	I honestly believe the Lord will not punish you for sin you don't know about. He will first bring it to your attention, and if you don't deal with it correctly, then He will bring about the punishment. Now, He may allow difficulties to arise in order to bring you to a point where He can reveal what the sin is. Also, don't assume that because you deal with sin that He will immediately bring you out. He may have brought you to that point so you could deal with the sin; then He may take you further through a trial in order to teach you and draw you even closer to Him. It is an erroneous assumption that because you are leading an exemplory Christian life and are close in your walk with God that you will be free of difficulties. In fact, the opposite is quite true, but not necessarily the case. What it comes down to is that no matter what point you are at in your life and spiritual walk you will face trials, temptations, testings and spiritual warfare.

	Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5,6

	We as finite mortals cannot know why things happen in our lives. We must rely on God to show us and lead us through them. In His infinite wisdom, He doesn't always choose to do this. We must keep two things in mind:
	There hath no temptation taken you
	but such as is common to man:
	but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be
	tempted above that you are able; but will with the
	temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may
	be able to bear it. I Corinthians 10:13

	But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me,
	I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:10

	What better example do we have of trials than Job? This was a righteous man who seemingly had more than he could bear. Not only had he lost possessions, he had lost his children. If this wasn't bad enough, his wife turned against him, and his friends added to his misery by judging and badgering him. Of course, this could be considered typically male. Males don't empathize in general. They approach the situation from a rational standpoint, analyzing. when a person is hurting, they don't want logic, they want compassion and comfort. When the emotional needs have been met, then you can move on to the rational. We need to keep off our soap boxes and put away the Bible studies and simply hold their hand, give them a hug and pray with them. Reading scripture is a good idea, as long as you don't pick out passages for 'bullseye' potential. Simply let the Holy Spirit guide you. When the person comes to the point that they are ready to listen to reason, most likely it will be the one who simply offered comfort that they will turn to.

	To every thing there is a season, and a time to every
	purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

	The first key to serenity is quiet time. By this I don't mean devotions, although that is vitally important as well. I mean that you must have some time to yourself. You need to set aside a time where you can lock yourself away from the world and sip tea or iced cappacino, maybe munch a few cookies, listen to a relaxing tape and/or read. I would personally shy away from books that would be heavy reading at this time, but it is completely up to you. You should pick something you can lose yourself in. You can read a book on Christian theology if you want, as long as it isn't for your Sunday school lesson. Absolutely no work!! This should be strictly personal interest and benefit. Make sure this is a place and time when you won't be interrupted. Turn off the phone if you have to. Make up a "do not disturb" door hanger and lock the door if necessary. You can't truly unwind if you expect to be interrupted at any moment. Guard this time vigourously. If you decide to make your quiet time while the kids are napping, resist every urge to get pressing tasks done during this time. Satan will try to give you lots of excuses for why you can't take the time for yourself, because he knows how important it is for you. If you are worn down physically and emotionally, you are easier prey. It isn't selfishness, it is self-preservation.

	The second key is devotions and prayer. I put them together because in my opinion they are inseparable. Daily, you should read your Bible, and several times a day you should pray.

	Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

	I like to keep a devotional diary, where I keep a list of prayer requests and where I record special insights that I gain from my scripture reading. This gives me something to look back on and see how I am progressing spiritually, and it gives me something to glean from during my dry spells. My diary is divided up into seven sections, and I keep it in a small three ring binder. Each section has a title page with a definition, and then a corresponding verse. My sections are:

	Milestones: a distance marker, an important event in life.
	Deuteronomy 27:6--I keep a list of events in my life of special import, such as my salvation, baptism, decisions for Christian service, participation in Church events, etc.

	Meditations: a committed mental process where one dwells on a particular thought for growth and understanding. Joshua 1:8--this is my prayer section. I have a page for each day and a page for special requests where I record the day the request was shared and the date it was answered.

	Ministry: act of service and sacrifice through attending, caring for or contributing to the lives of others. John 12:3--I keep a list for encouragement notes and letters sent, and for what occasion, as well as a record of special occasions not to forget

	Memorization: mental process of retaining and reviving impressions. Psalm 119:11--this is where I keep a record of the verses I work on and memorize, and what they mean to me

	Maturing: the process of growth. Ephesians 4:13--this is where I keep quotes, illustrations, etc. that spoke to me. I also plan out how to change something the Lord has shown me I need to work on.

	Mentoring: the process of a mature Christian instructing by advice and example through associations and intimate friendship with a younger Christian. Titus 2:3-5--I keep profiles of people I have a lot of influence on, so I remember special things about them and note special needs to pray about

	Daily Reflections: Psalm 19:14--this is pretty much
	a diary section. I put my insights from my daily devotions down, jotting down any questions that come to mind, and where I write long letters to God. I have found that I put my thoughts together better when I put it on paper, and helps my thoughts from straying.

	The third key is gratitude. A lot has been brought to our attention about gratitude lately, in connection with abundance. Abundance is simply in your mind. If you dwell on what you don't have, of course your life will always be short of abundance. However, if you dwell on what you do have (which is as it should be) you learn that you are truly blessed with abundance.

	A faithful man shall abound with blessings.
	Proverbs 28:20a

	Each evening you should take the time before bed to write down at least three things that day you are grateful for (maybe in your devotional diary.) Think about how they came into your life, how they have changed your life, what would life be without them? Take a moment to thank God for them.

	The fourth key is simplicity. One reason we as women feel ready to snap is that we have too much in our lives. We either have too many jobs or too many demands on our time. Many times the demands are self-imposed without realizing it. Get out of the mindset that you are the only one who can do certain things. You need to prioritize your life. List the things that you absolutely have to do, then move on to the things that need to be done but you can delegate to others, and then to those things that can be left up to others altogether. It is possible that by taking on all these tasks you may be robbing someone else of a blessing or a much needed
	experience. Remember this order: God first, your husband second, your children third, and all others last. If these are out of order, your life is out of balance. In the "God first" section your walk with Him falls into play. If your relationship with God isn't what it should be, none of your others will be either. Don't take on more than you can handle, or that doesn't leave you time for yourself and for God. Consistently take it before your Heavenly Father and let Him guide you as to what you should do and take on, and what you should let go of.

	The fifth key is service. Get your mind off yourself and onto what you can do for others! At first this might seem contradictory, but it isn't. This is simply here to keep a balance in your life. If you have so much time on your hands that all you do is dwell on problems, etc. then you have too much time on your hands! I don't mean that you need to run out and start teaching a Sunday school class. We have been brought up to think that service is teaching, preaching, being a missionary or church musician. Yes, it is all these things, but it is simple things too. Send encouragement notes or get well cards. Visit the elderly, clean their house or get their groceries. Take them to the doctor and pick up their medicine. Babysit for someone for free, especially young couples who have no family in the area. Invite someone over for dinner. Keep a missionary, evangelist or college kid from a traveling group in your home. The options are endless.
Service is simply showing Christian love and sacrifice to someone else for God's glory. We have overlooked the simple acts, and our lives and the Church's ministry has suffered for it. Don't leave it to state-funded programs. In my opinion these programs were started because the church failed in their duty to the elderly and needy. We as a society have become too busy to reach out to others. It used to be that the name Christian meant something. People knew them to be kind, selfless, always there and willing to help. Today, Christians have the reputation as being hypocrites. They say one thing and live like the world anyway. We need to return to the 'old fashioned' Christianity. It is what truly showed the love of God to the world.
As women, I believe the responsibility rests on us to reinstill these values to our Christian community. We need to teach them to our children, letting them see us do them and by involving them. We need to encourage others to get involved. However tempting it may be, don't form a new committee for this! No matter the good intentions, a committee formed to 'reach out' is very impersonal. Eventually, to the committee members and to those they are 'serving,' it becomes simply a job. No, isolated individuals need to be carrying this out. This is what gives the service the characteristic of Christian love. The acts must be spontaneous and come from a deep and sincere concern for others and their needs.

The sixth key is personal enrichment. Find a hobby and set aside time at least weekly to devote to it. This can be needlework, gardening, keeping a scrapbook, floral crafts, writing or painting. Or, take on a project, such as a Bible study, tracing your genealogy, get involved in a penpal or e-mail club, or start a ladies group with a theme--such as a reading group, sewing circle, or crafter's guild. Your personal satisfaction in creativity and accomplishments will amaze you. You will grow in knowledge, ability and relationships. It will make you a more rounded person. A woman who is content will create contentedness around her.
Also, something that is beneficial is exercise. My husband feels that exercise is the answer to everything. Of course, he is a drill sergeant, so he's a little biased, if not warped. However, his theory about exercise is sound; "If you don't feel better, you'll at least be too tired to care." It is true that a regular exercise program is beneficial and helps you to feel better. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. No need to join the 'Y.' Just take a walk. Do a few stretches in your living room or den. I was surprised how much simply stretching in the morning before work got me going. If this seems to be the answer for you, then move on to more serious exercise. But keep it simple, and be sure to consult your doctor before beginning any exercise program.
If at any time your hobby starts to take over and become an obligation, stop it immediately. This is supposed to be stress relief. Don't let it become another demand on your time.

The seventh, and final, key is ultimate fulfillment. If you have put into play the six other keys, then the seventh should come on its own. If you don't get time to yourself, you harbour resentment. If you don't spend time in God's word and prayer you become weak and vulnerable spiritually and harbour sin. If you are dwelling on what you don't have you won't be thankful, and you can't be content. If you don't simplify your life you'll never have time for your family, God or yourself. If you don't serve others you can't glorify God and get your attention off yourself. If you aren't growing mentally and spiritually you won't grow emotionally. You'll stagnate and become bitter.
While the six keys contribute to the seventh, true ultimate fulfillment comes in knowing your worth and place in Christ.

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13,14a

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
Romans 8:16,17

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. John 1:12

Once you realize that you are a child of God, you can begin to put things in their proper perspective. There is nothing beyond God's power. He is in control of our lives and the events surrounding them. As His child, He only has planned what is best for us. If you are a parent, you will understand this. We can put aside our worries and rest in His care. During trials we must focus on the good in our lives and hold on to His promises.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-9

Seven years ago I lost my father to cancer. It was an extremely difficult and painful time for me. I had always been very close to my father and relied heavily on his teaching, opinions and Biblical knowledge. I came home from my freshman year of Bible college to find that my father was sicker than I had been led to believe. Shortly, we had to take him to the hospital, and for two weeks I pleaded and reasoned with God over my father's life. I told Him that He couldn't take my father because there was still so much he could teach me. Then, after a visit with him in the hospital one evening I realized how much pain he was in. At this point I put aside my selfishness. As we walked back to the car, amidst tears and heartache, I silently pleaded with God to take him. I told Him that I didn't care about myself any more, I just wanted my father to be free of pain and suffering. Two days later he slipped into a coma and died.
There have been times when I've blamed myself for the suffering my father had to endure. If only I had let go sooner, maybe he wouldn't have lingered. Because of the timing of his death I've felt that the Lord kept him here until I came to grips with letting him go. But I have realized that I cannot know God's reasoning. He had His perfect timing, and whether I was ready or not, He would have taken my father and simply waited for me to come to Him.

And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee; fear not, neither be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

I held on to this verse many times throughout those months following. Years later I can look at things a little more objectively. Who is to say that if my father lived I would be the person I am now; that I would have accomplished the things I have, or that I'd even be married with a beautiful son. It is possible that had he lived I wouldn't have made the choices the Lord wanted me to, or he may have hindered me in some of the decisions I was to make. If I had been given the choice between my father's life and what the Lord had planned for me, I fear I wouldn't have made the right decisions. It is much better to leave it up to the Lord to know what is best and to follow His lead.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And you shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Though Paul's statement seems a little perverse, it is the idea we need to follow. In everything, look for the good. You may have lost a lot, even everything, but if you look hard enough you will still find things to be thankful for. Ultimate fulfillment comes when we can rest secure in God's care and trust in Him no matter what we are faced with. It is carrying on in the face of adversity and disappointment.

Working these keys into your life will not be easy. It won't just happen. You won't just discover some free time and say, "I think I'll try some of those suggestions from that pamphlet." You have to make time to do these things. There will always be things demanding your time, insisting they be cared for. You have to be discerning enought to decide which things are important and necessary, and which things
simply seem to be. Evaluate your life and eliminate clutter. Putting these keys into practice will be a conscious effort, and one you will have to take up day after day. Once it becomes habit it won't be such a conscious effort to do it, but it will be to guard it. Whatever you find to help you succeed, Satan will try to take it away or destroy it. We are involved in spiritual warfare. Take no prisoners!
I sincerely hope these insights will be of some benefit to you. I pray that you will be able to find some serenity in your life and be the woman God would have you to be.

God Bless You!!

Starter Devotions

Devotions should be quick. This is not the time for indepth Bible study. Choose a short passage, prepare your heart and read. After reading a passage of scripture you should ask yourself these questions:

Adoration: What do these verses tell me about God?
Confession: (1John1:9) What shortcomings do I see in my relationship to God and others?
Thanksgiving: (1Thes.5:18) What has God done for me, my family, my friends, or my church?
Supplication: What should I ask God to do for someone else, for me, for my church?
What goal do I see for myself today from this passage?
What aspect of Christian Character fits in with this passage?

Below is a list of Christian characteristics:
Humility is an attitude in relationship to God and to one's fellow man, which manifests itself in a voluntary subordination to the will of another. Matthew 23:11,12

Virtue is the moral excellence and purity of spirit that radiates from my life as I obey God's word. 2 Peter 1:5

Deference is limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those God has called me to serve. Romans 14:21

Discernment is recognizing subtle dangers which others overlook and then visualizing the consequences of those dangers. Prov. 27:12

Courtesy is expressing through attitudes and actions my high esteem for others. Philippians 2:3

Orderliness is preparing myself and my surroundings so that I will
achieve the greatest efficiency. 1 Corinthians 14:40

Stewardship is wise use of that which God has entrusted to me. 1 Corinthians 4:2

Hospitality is cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and spiritual refreshment with those God brings into my life. 1 Peter 4:9

Responsibility is knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting from me. Romans 14:12

The first letters from the first four devotional questions spell ACTS. We are to put what we learn from God's word into action.

For as the body without the spirit is dead,
so faith without works is dead also.
James 2:26

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Week One

Monday -- Psalm 15
Tuesday -- Exodus 20:1-17
Wednesday -- Matthew 16:6-13
Thursday -- John 1:43-51
Friday -- Colossians 3:12-25
Weekend -- Revelation 21:22-27

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Week Two

Monday -- Psalm 107:1-9
Tuesday -- Job 23:1-12
Wednesday -- 2 Peter 3
Thursday -- John 19:16-27
Friday -- Proverbs 24:30-34
Weekend -- 2 Corinthians 4

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Week Three

Monday -- Matthew 5:1-16
Tuesday -- Matthew 6:1-22
Wednesday -- Matthew 6:25-34
Thursday -- Matthew 7:1-5
Friday -- Matthew 14:22-33
Weekend -- Psalm 23

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Week Four

Monday -- Ruth 1
Tuesday -- Ruth 2
Wednesday -- Ruth 3
Thursday -- Ruth 4
Friday -- Luke 1:26-38
Weekend -- Luke 2:15-19,25-33


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Boosters


James 1:2-4

Romans 5:1-5

2 Corinthians 12:9,10