Poetry Café

Hey! This is the place to let it all out ... not just poems, but stories, journal entries, whatever! Just let your hand go and get writing!
But, as always, some of these might be triggering, so please proceed with caution!

Just hit the

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These are just a few of my poems ...

My Walls

Kid Fears

Mommy hear Me Calling Thee?

Dying

Voices

Why?

These are poems from my good friend Erin.

Me, Myself

Untitled #1

Need

Untitled #2

How Can I Tell You

Lonely Days

To submit your poems or writings, please EMail them to me the way you want them seen. Please try to go easy on vulgar language. Thanks.

My Walls

I sit and look out through the slits in my walls.
But I never let anyone inside my lonely halls.
Inside my walls I'm safe and sound.
But here, no friends are found.

When they come to my walls I make a beastly noise.
Just to hide the fact I'm a scared little girl.
Sometimes that come near to the stones.
But when I call out to them through my walls
they're gone.

Stone by stone was laid with pain.
Now it all seems to be insane.
Yes, I've built my walls strong and well.
But, all I've built is my own little hell.

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Kid Fears

Curled up in bed, hiding from the world
Not wanting to hear those loud footsteps in the hall
Footsteps that mean pain and fear

Dreams of blackness and hate
Waking up scared to death
Realizing that the nightmares are true
Too scared to move, he'll come back

Thoughts of suicide and death
Whirling in her mind like a tornado
Wanting to get out, to stop this terrible life

Feeling hopeless and alone
She turns to other means of comfort
Booze, drugs, and knifes …
The only things holding her together

This isn't the life for an eight year old child
This life of pain, fear, hurt, and hate
A life that she will live in forever

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Mommy Hear Me Calling Thee?

Mommy hear me calling thee
Tell me when I will be free
Of this horror in my brain
Tell me when I'll feel no pain

Mommy hear me calling thee
Hope that you can get me free
Daddy's crawling in my bed
How I wish that I was dead

Mommy hear me calling thee
Tell me how that this could be
Now I've got a brand new pearl
'Cause I was Dad's special girl

Mommy hear me calling thee
I wish that this could never be
I was only six years old
Only did what I was told

Mommy hear me calling thee
Tell me when will I be free
Caught up in a childhood hell
'Cause I said that I would not tell

Mommy hear me calling thee
Hope that you can get me free
Can't you hear my silent screams
Are things as bad as it may seem

Mommy hear me calling thee
Thought that things were plain to see
Those troubled times have gone away
But the memories are here to stay

Mommy hear me calling thee
Maybe you will one day see
Because of this I have no pride
I think of trying suicide

Mommy hear me calling thee
Won't you try to rescue me
Do you believe what I have said
As the bullet strikes my head

Mommy hear me calling thee
No one heard my final plea
Leave this poem upon my grave
Hope that someone might be saved

Mommy hear me calling thee
Only death has set me free
When you promise not to tell
It will send you straight to hell

Mommy hear me calling thee
Please don't shed a tear for me

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Dying

living a life
I never wanted to own
lost in a world
where they left me alone
crying for love
in the midst of the black
I'm fleeing this world
and not coming back
escaping existence
where love denotes pain
full of the question
"am I insane?"
yearning to please
so others accept
deep hidden secrets
within that I kept
no one understands
the person I've hid
not as an adult
nor as a kid
my entire life
I've fought to get by
now I am done
with no courage to try
I would like to believe
that I touched a life
but it cost too much
and I've paid the price
my heart is tired
and can't bear to break
or endure the pain
it's predestined to take
so alone I prepare
for the journey to come
the decision is mine
not agreed with by some
I invite them now
to try on my shoes
and facing these odds
what would they do
never finding peace
or a place to belong
not a hand to hold onto
when right even feels wrong
no shoulder to lean on
or a friend I can love
never knowing
or trusting
a God up above
believing I'm evil
that I kill those who care
feeling so empty
heaving nothing to share
entrapped in a body
I've always wanted to shed
sleeping alone
yet with a man in my bed
memories of a child
full of anger and fear
having a mother
who refused to get near
never being touched
unless to cause hurt
crying for love
as I was cast to the dirt
growing up in a world
so foreign and new
not knowing the rules
of what I should do
I had found a friend
but I push them away
which taught me a lesson
no one will stay
the cycle has swung
full circle to here
I won't ride again
the pain I can't bear
the answer I've chosen
may not be right
but the war is over
and so is the fight

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Voices

When people are sleeping I'm awake,
Images of him my mind does create.
My thoughts are without any reason or rhyme,
There's nothing to separate reality and time.
I've heard voices talking but just in my mind,
Answers to riddles for which I can't find.
Does it really matter or should I really care.
Am I insane or are the voices really there.
My thoughts are a prison forever controlling me,
I can only hope one day I will be free.

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Why?

Why, do tell me why you talk to
the big, blue sky.
Was it me or was it you who took away
the pretty blue?
The wall sits high as the years go by.
Is everybody the same, or do we all
have our own separate name?
Is it wrong for the sand with a true lie
of the untrue land to ask a
man "What's your name?"
I don't even know myself.
It then stands true to know it's one
foot in front of the other.
Looking back, it tells me the same.
I ask again about the past.
The reply hurt and is thought to
be wrong.
Is it wrong when a man stands strong
with the mind that still stands
sober and with one foot in front
of the other?
At least his life is not over.

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Me, Myself
By -- Erin

Do you ever look in the mirror
and not recognize yourself
The person in the mirror
Is that me myself?
I wonder what's on her mind
As she looks into her own eyes
I think she might be blind
Or is she just saying her good-byes?

Why is her life hidden?
She feels like her feelings are forbidden
She bites her tongue, hoping
that her feelings will stay
hidden underneath
far, far away

Who does she love?
Who does she hate?
Is it love
Or is it fate?

When you look in the mirror
Do you finally see yourself?
The person in the mirror
Yes, it's me myself

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Untitled #1
By -- Erin

I won't let you hurt me anymore
I can't cry over you anymore
I can't let you in
I'm afraid you might win
You've hurt me many times before
I don't understand, do you want to hurt me more?
I feel as if you do
But what can I do?
Your actions, do they show your affection
Or are they merely a reflection
of who you are?

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Need
By -- Erin

I'm on my own
Cold and alone
What I need
Doesn't need me
What I want
doesn't want me
I don't know what to do
Love does not want me
I always thought that
someone would sweep me off my feet
I always thought
I deserved love
I always thought that
he could love me in return
I was sadly mistaken
I just want to be happy
Is that a crime?
Now I know that
I won't get swept off my feet
Now I know that
I don't deserve love
Now I know that
I'll never be loved in return
Now I realize that
I never deserved him
I now know
that I'll never deserve anyone.

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Untitled #2
By -- Erin

So I fell
Now my life's in hell
When I think you've disappeared
Somehow you've reappeared
I got lost somewhere
Can you tell me where?
I lost my heart
You ripped it apart
You pulverized it
You walked all over it
You've beaten it beyond repair
This shit's so unfair
I can no longer allow myself to love
What is love?
To me love is pain
but there is a lot to gain
I have betrayed myself
I have deceived myself
I guess I'm just naive
To ever think that you truly loved me
What do you get out of hurting me?
Look at me, I'm bleeding
You are so damn misleading
Do I look like I'm only here to serve?
One day you'll get what you deserve.

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How Can I Tell You
By -- Erin

How can I tell you
that I always think about you?
How can I tell you
that I need you to survive?
How can I tell you
that I don't deserve you?
How can I tell you
how much you truly mean to me?
How can I tell you
that you're everything that I've ever wanted/needed?
How can I tell you
that you're my cure?
How can I tell you
that I love you more than life itself?
How can I tell you
that I'd lay down my life for you?
How can I tell you
that I'd do anything and everything for you?

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Lonely Days
By -- Erin

Lonely days gone by
Trying to hold my head up
And not say my good-byes
Just to have breakdowns in bed

I wish someone could mend
This lonely, broken heart, or send it astray
I wish someone could send
All this pain away

Look at my hands shake
When I look through my lonely days
Can't you tell this is something I can't take
I want someone, someone who'll stay

Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see
I look like I want to die
You would probably agree

Look into my eyes again
What else do you see?
All this pain
Taking over me?

Look into my eyes
What do you see?
A bunch of nothingness and good-byes
Laughter fake by me?

Just another lonely day gone by
Acting fake like the day before
Don't even bother asking why
Anyway, to them it's something easy to ignore

Look at me play in the sea
Alone swimming away from shore
Watch the waves crash on top of me
Is there not anyone that will bring me ashore?

Another lonely day just went on by
Just another day in hell
Watch the loneliness multiply
Watch my soul yell

I am alone
I have no one here to comfort me
I have no one, to call my own
Yet no one understands this, nor do they see

Lonely days now
Hit my heart like a knife
Lonely days now
Show me that I only have two reasons to survive

Don't ask me where my love went
Don't ask me to love
Away, is hopefully where my love was sent
Maybe some place that's never been heard of

I don't know why anyone would want me or want to love me
I have nothing to offer, nothing to give
I guess they don't even see
That I don't want this life to live

Watch me breakdown right before your eyes
Look at my heart on the ground
And you just sit back and sigh
In my head, thoughts of my past spin round and round

I have nothing now
I don't have you
I don't know how
To tell you how much I need you

F*ck this
F*ck everything
F*ck any kind of bliss
F*ck life, f*ck every f*cking thing

So tired of lonely days
So tired of everything
So tired of hearing,'there's nothing to say'
So tired of being nothing

When will this go away?
When will this pain go away?
When will my heart find its way?
When will this emptiness go away?

I might as well get use
To all these lonely days
I might as well get use
To the thought of being alone the rest of my days

I am alone
I realize as these lonely days go by
Forever alone, on my own
Until the day I die

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