Hi,
I accidentally stumbled into your website and was deeply impressed with what you had to say. If only more people could have your approach to life, the world would be a better place. I am 35 and have had various relationships and deep friendships with women right across the size spectrum and valued each of them deeply. My most recent partner (we were going out for 3 years)
was as she would describe herself, fat. I always found her to be an extremely attractive, intelligent woman. Although I told her this (and meant it every time) on various occassions, deep down she never really accepted the idea that anyone could be attracted to her due to her shape and am certain that this played a significant part in the relationship ending. I am a keen swimmer and have an athletic build and pay a degree of attention to my appearance
(not in a vain way). Many people including gay men, say I look too good to be straight. Personally I am indifferent to those sorts of remarks. The point I am trying to make is that even though (let's call her Elaine) thought she had in ways the trophy partner, it made her insecure and depressed. In fact I considered her to be a trophy partner. She was a lecturer in a cutting edge department and and admired her a great deal.
When we got into bed, she would prefer the light to be off. When we made love and we were exploring and caressing each others bodies, she quietly remarked on several occassions that she felt inadequate due to the difference of our shapes. The irony is I loved every inch of her body. Two other sportsmen I know who are infinitely better built than I am are in relationships with women who are around US size 18. In the UK that's about size 20.
I just want big women to know that not all men are neccessarily driven to the 'Perfect 10'. And I want those who are not big women to know that 'athletic' men can find much more attractive qualities in a woman than the latest Pamela Anderson, Cindy Crawford or Kate Mosses of the glamour world.
People are so drastically limiting their life opportunities. A person's body does come into the equation of attraction. For me it is the way a woman is with thier body. People who use techniques such as NLP would probably describe it a kinaesthetic. The French have a wonderful phrase for it, he/she "...suits their skin...". However I find nothing more incredibly sexy than a woman who is lively, fun, bright and most importantly happy in themselves. Believe it or not, size is actually the last thing which
comes to mind.Very Best Wishes
Simon
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