Being a person who never bowed to peer pressure, it still amazes me that I allowed myself to think I *had* to be thin to be happy. In high school, when my peers were doing drugs and sleeping around, I stood fast and said no, that's stupid and dangerous. My friends were spending tons of money on designer label clothing and haircuts that would have broke me, and following every trend that came by, but not me. I wanted to make my own path, and be myself, and not wear what everyone else was wearing or do my hair like everyone else.
So why was it I fell headfirst into the 'must be thin' trap? I agonised over my pot belly, and cringed at my thighs. Untucked shirts, loose t-shirts ... I never enjoyed clothing or shopping. My parents, bless them, never so much as let out a PEEP at my weight and size, nor did my closest friends. It took my skinniest friend (really thin) telling me that I wasn't fat, I just had curves, to start to open my eyes. I finally gave up dieting, but was still miserable and wanted to lose weight.
Then I picked up a book called "Self Esteem at any Size" and that was the final leg of my self acceptance journey! I'm not big because I'm lazy or undisciplined, I'm big because that's what my body wants to be. My bones are big -- did I expect to diet THAT away?? I have big hips. Bully for me! My bust is big enough to balance it out, and I have quite a nice figure when you look at it without the thin-glasses on. I went out and spent more money shopping for clothes in a month then I had in years. NO more jeans and t-shirts, unless they were t-shirts designed to show off curves. Lane Bryant and I are friends now! I love my body just as it is and I am playing it up as best I can.
I turned thirty on the first of august, and the thought of spending the next decade obsessing about my weight ... well, that was the last straw. I completely wasted my twenties 'waiting' until I lost weight to have fun.
Pffft! I'm having fun NOW. I feel sorry for people who live at the gyms ... I feel sorry for people who successfully lose weight then spend an hour, two hours a day 'working out' in case God forBID those pounds come back!
FOOD IS GOOD! CURVES ARE GOOD!Beth the MIGHTY
zeriah@ix.netcom.comgo back