Why do people assume we're miserable?
Okay, I am sure by now you have figured out on your own that I am not a shy person.
This lack of shyness comes from inner confidence - despite my size. With that said, I'd like to explain several things:
- I am not alone in feeling that being overweight is anything to be ashamed of or feel that I am any less worthy of a person because of it.
- Skinny people are miserable too!
- Being heavy is not the be-all and end-all of my existence.
I have mentioned this website to very few friends of mine and there is a good reason behind it. I refuse to be defined by how much I weigh and I am very proud of the fact I am not viewed as their "fat friend Jessica". When I did tell a couple of people who know me very well, they were extremely surprised. The general response was that they viewed me as being very comfortable in my body, sometimes even more so then they are in their size 6 & 8 bodies. So naturally, it would seem strange to them that I would devote a site to the issues of being a plus-size woman. Their reasoning for this surprise was that they didn't think I suffered the same kind of prejudices and arrogance because of my attitude. Essentially, they pinpointed the fact I am trying to get across, which is that people treat you how you act and considering that I don't act like a miserable, depressed fat woman (as we are all portayed in those diet program commercials), I am not treated that way. Simple enough, eh?
So, why I am doing this then, you ask? Well, for one, because of the stupid, demeaning, and unrealistic diet commercials you see on TV every day. Everyone starts off with "I was FAT and I was MISERABLE", or something to that effect. Then I think to myself, well, I am fat and quite happy! I have no desire to starve myself, especially to obtain some imaginary happiness. Your body only affects your attitude if you let it! One of my favorite sayings is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt). This is one of the obvious themes in this site, but I really can't stress it enough.
So back to those bleeding commercials... Its amazing how easily giving any credence to these ploys for money, can be detrimental to your ego. Losing weight for health reasons is one thing and should be taken seriously, but I don't understand killing yourself for purely cosmetic gratification. You are still going to be the same person, so unless you change your ATTITUDE, not your size, you won't be any happier. I have been both and can honestly say this from experience. My life is just as rich and fulfilling as before because I have learned to accept myself the way I am.
What's completely ironic, is that since this revelation, I have not gained a pound! Whereas before I used to diet, lose a bunch of weight, and then gain it all back with an extra 20% for good measure. How was this helping? I know you've all heard it before but 95% of people gain back the weight they lose and then some. So now that I have stopped dieting, my body has relaxed and I have actually lost about 20lbs because my metabolism is going haywire anymore.
The moral of this story is, when you place all this emphasis on losing weight, and attribute any good feelings to the loss of that weight, you are completely setting yourself up for disaster. Being miserable is something you do to yourself, not what your weight does to you. And there are loads of people besides myself who feel this way - so don't listen to those diet commercials. They are only after one thing and that's what's in your wallet. Try and be more concerned with what's in your head (and remember its okay to be happy with your body just the way you are!)
SoshBfly@hotmail.com
Why do people assume we're miserable?
Okay, I am sure by now you have figured out on your own that I am not a shy person. This lack of shyness comes from inner confidence - despite my size. With that said, I'd like to explain several things:
- I am not alone in feeling that being overweight is anything to be ashamed of or feel that I am any less worthy of a person because of it.
- Skinny people are miserable too!
- Being heavy is not the be-all and end-all of my existence.
I have mentioned this website to very few friends of mine and there is a good reason behind it. I refuse to be defined by how much I weigh and I am very proud of the fact I am not viewed as their "fat friend Jessica". When I did tell a couple of people who know me very well, they were extremely surprised. The general response was that they viewed me as being very comfortable in my body, sometimes even more so then they are in their size 6 & 8 bodies. So naturally, it would seem strange to them that I would devote a site to the issues of being a plus-size woman. Their reasoning for this surprise was that they didn't think I suffered the same kind of prejudices and arrogance because of my attitude. Essentially, they pinpointed the fact I am trying to get across, which is that people treat you how you act and considering that I don't act like a miserable, depressed fat woman (as we are all portayed in those diet program commercials), I am not treated that way. Simple enough, eh?
So, why I am doing this then, you ask? Well, for one, because of the stupid, demeaning, and unrealistic diet commercials you see on TV every day. Everyone starts off with "I was FAT and I was MISERABLE", or something to that effect. Then I think to myself, well, I am fat and quite happy! I have no desire to starve myself, especially to obtain some imaginary happiness. Your body only affects your attitude if you let it! One of my favorite sayings is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt). This is one of the obvious themes in this site, but I really can't stress it enough.
So back to those bleeding commercials... Its amazing how easily giving any credence to these ploys for money, can be detrimental to your ego. Losing weight for health reasons is one thing and should be taken seriously, but I don't understand killing yourself for purely cosmetic gratification. You are still going to be the same person, so unless you change your ATTITUDE, not your size, you won't be any happier. I have been both and can honestly say this from experience. My life is just as rich and fulfilling as before because I have learned to accept myself the way I am.
What's completely ironic, is that since this revelation, I have not gained a pound! Whereas before I used to diet, lose a bunch of weight, and then gain it all back with an extra 20% for good measure. How was this helping? I know you've all heard it before but 95% of people gain back the weight they lose and then some. So now that I have stopped dieting, my body has relaxed and I have actually lost about 20lbs because my metabolism is going haywire anymore.
The moral of this story is, when you place all this emphasis on losing weight, and attribute any good feelings to the loss of that weight, you are completely setting yourself up for disaster. Being miserable is something you do to yourself, not what your weight does to you. And there are loads of people besides myself who feel this way - so don't listen to those diet commercials. They are only after one thing and that's what's in your wallet. Try and be more concerned with what's in your head (and remember its okay to be happy with your body just the way you are!)
SoshBfly@hotmail.com