Viv's Take on Things

Hello!
My name is Vivian Nieves and I'm 27 years young (notice my little humor there). The reason I'm writing is because I wanted to contribute my experience on how it feels to be a Big Beautiful Woman. Now, let me first say that "BIG" doesn't run in my family (neither side of the family). A couple of my aunts are "BIG" but that's only because they had children. My siblings from both sides of the family are slim and then comes little ole' me.



I was born a regular size baby (7 lbs or so . . . or so it seemed). I was always a chubby kid, especially after my dear old grandmother (God rest her soul) decided to stuff me with barley to give me an appetite (well, that's what my aunt tells me). Why do they always do that? Don't they know the long-term effects of opening up our stomach passages? Then what gets me is that when you do grow up to be a heavy adult, they wonder why. Yes, I take full responsibility now for how many times a day I put something in my mouth, but I firmly believe that it all started at home. And for those of you who are wondering if I've been to the doctor's to check for a thyroid problem? Yep, I've been there hoping that it was because then I had something to blame my weight problem on. Now I know that it probably seems like I don't enjoy being a BBW or that I'm not comfortable with my body, but that's not the case at all. It's just that I didn't really have a "support" group growing up that told me it was okay to not be like everybody else. And that "support" group included my family. When you're at a family-gathering and a family member walks up to you and says, "How are you? My, you've gotten sooo big," you just know that this isn't the place to look for support. I guess it didn't help either that I, how shall I put it, "wasn't popular with the boys." I learned that I was going to be my own support group and that no one would love me until I learned to love myself first.



Well, I guess none of that matters now cause fast-forward 27 years later and I just have to say that I love myself more than I could have ever imagined. I have surpassed this comfort level with myself that I just thrive on. Sure I have my "FAT" days, but who doesn't. Even those Heather Locklear-looking women have their "FAT" days too. So you see, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside. It's all about how you feel about yourself on the inside. Besides, if God wanted everyone to look the same, he would've made everyone BIG! Well, bye for now.

Love and peace,
V



By the way, this is actually Vivian's favorite saying... I just nicked it from her because I liked it too!
Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.






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