I feel inside of me the sadness in your heart when things aren't going right. And my eyes, too fill with tears -- because I know how you feel and because I cherish you so very much and feel so close by your side. If only I could I would right the wrongs and make the days brighter, because I want soon to see the smile I remember and the eyes that sparkle so when things are going well -- All I have to offer is my love ... to remind you that you're not alone, my hand...to hold and to help and my simple words... that time will take you to a brighter day, and strength will walk beside you and your heart will show the way. -Andrew Tawney
The Lesson of Love
As I walked into the waiting room day after day, I tried to see the good, I tried to bring cheer with me. There was a little one Mya, a mere 4 years old, fighting this awful thing, she used to come and sit on your lap and ask you to read to her. I would always pull this little wonder up and read. Her Mom was a brave woman, but the sadness in her eyes was overwhelming at times. I started to look forward to going to see her, knowing her bright smile would be there, she would tell each of us that it was our turn to walk her down the hall to the treatment room. Her little hand so strong and brave in mine, broke my heart to see this little one have to go in there, but she walked always with her little head held high. She brought sunshine to a room full of pain, sadness, fright, denial, anger and lost hope. My Mya taught me to walk down this hall in the same brave manner, for weeks we did the reading and the walk, I grew to love this little one. But ya see one day, I walked in and there was no Mya there, I thought that her schedule had changed and didn't think much of it, the entire week I went and Friday her Mom was there, she came to tell me that my little friend had lost her fight, she came to give me a beanie baby that Mya had told her she wanted me to have. This brave wonderful woman, had lost her child, her darling baby and took the time to carry this to me. I was so overcome with sadness, still it brings tears to me. This Mother and Child taught me more than I can even explain, they taught me love, they taught me to walk with my head held high and they taught me that the fight is not over, ever. They never once gave up the hope, never once gave up the love, they shared with all of us there, they gave us all the most precious of gifts. LOVE Mya will live on with me always, she lives on in many of my friends, I came to this computer and poured my pain out to them, they are Mya's tribute, they felt, they cared about a little girl they knew nothing of in life, is what she was all about. Giving, loving and living.
Ty is a quiet young man, in his 20's, fighting this same as the rest in the waiting room, he never spoke much at all, would show us a shy, sweet smile but that was it. After the news about Mya, I had 2 weeks off from my daily visits to that room, when I returned, all the same faces where there to greet me, plus some new ones. When my name was called that day, I sat for a moment thinking of Mya, when I went to get up Ty was standing before me with his hand outstreched, I placed my hand in his and he whispered to me "You will never have to walk these hall alone again, will always be here with you" Tears ran down my face, as this young man showed me yet again that life is for the living, that it is for sharing, that we all must walk the path that was chosen for us, and help each other along the way as much as possible. After this day we all seemed to try harder to reach out to each other, to comfort, to place a smile upon the face of a person in need. I brought a bullitin board into the waiting room so we could all place something on it to cheer the place up. I draw and I put this one there.
Today 3/2/99 I learned that Ty passed away, he now walks with Mya, I pray that her little hand is now in the comforting warmth of Ty's. Will miss you both so very much, my heart and life are so much fuller because of you both. Am so saddened by this disease, never thought much about it before I was diagnosed, is all I can think of somedays now. I have gained strength from my short time with these two, will be sorely missed forever by me. Will carry on my fight, in memory of Ty and Mya and a wonderful friend John, made a promise to him and his wife Sheila that I would win and win I WILL!!
I also brought a crystal to hang in the window so the waiting room would have rainbows always, was Kathy's idea and I love it so very much. It became a bright cheerful place. I'm still looking for the rainbow suncatcher, want it for this place.
