24 Hour Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-376-2272
"Peace Begins in the Home"
Some Things You Should Know About
"Spouse Abuse"
SPOUSE ABUSE: WHAT IS IT?
It is making physical contact with an intimate partner out of anger or "getting even"
with words or actions with the intent to hurt an intimate partner.
Spouse Abuse May Be
PHYSICAL
- slapping, shaking, shoving, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, scratching, pulling
hair or the use of a weapon or something used as a weapon.
VERBAL
- excessive yelling, frequent criticism, name-calling, threats to abandon the relationship.
EMOTIONAL
- berating and discounting one's spouse in speech or action. Refusing to share feelings,
neglecting to hear the other's feelings, and giving insulting negative feedback.
SEXUAL
- humiliating a sex partner, or forcing an intimate to have sex. Intentionally
hurting a sex partner before or during intercourse.
Spouse Abuse Can Happen In Any Relationship
- in poor, middle-class or well-to-do homes
- in rural, urban, or suburban areas
- between partners of any race, religion, or culture
Spouse Abuse Occurs Frequently
Conflict is a natural occurrence in most relationships. Abuse, however, does not resolve
conflict, rather, only adds to stress between intimates.
Effects of Spouse Abuse
- Abuse between partners is a symptom of stress disorder, much like gambling, drug
abuse or alcoholism.
- Abusive behavior perpetuates low self-exteem and teaches inappropraite reactions to
stress to children.
- Family members tend to function ineptly on the job, in school and socially.
- Physical abuse may result in injury or death to one or both partners.
- Marriages often end in divorce because of the abuse.
- Abusive behavior interferes with trust and intimacy in the relationship.
- Many times, the abused partner "acts out" their resentment by mistreating
other family members.
- Many abusive adults have modeled their own parents' abusive behavior and what they
have learned from their parents they pass on to their own children.
- Families in which abuse occurs tend to distrust others. These families ofter isolate
themselves from the community.
- Emotional problems, legal consequences, medical problems and day-to-day management
in the family are perpetuated as problems by the abusive behavior.
CONTINUUM OF FAMILY VIOLENCE
PHYSICAL
pushing
punching
slapping
kicking
throwing objects
choking
using weapons
homicide/suicide
DEATH
VERBAL EMOTIONAL
name calling
criticizing
"you're no good"
ignoring
yelling
isolation
humiliation
SUICIDE
SEXUAL
unwanted touching
sexual name calling
unfaithfulness
false accusations
forced sex
hurtful sex
RAPE
Without some kind of help, the violence usually gets worse. The end result can be death.
Created on: March 3, 1999
Last Modified: March 5, 1999
lacasa@zianet.com