Thank the gods today went much, much better than the last two have. Two things happened: I got screwed over big time - twice. Both incidents had to do with the same organization and, true to my INFP self, I've gone over it and over it, trying to figure out the whole damn thing.
I'm a member of the newly formed Art League on campus. Last week, I suggested we occasionally have a scheduled topic everyone could prepare for and talk about (note the word everyone here.) In fact, here is the text of my original message:
Just out of curiosity - I know during the last meeting we talked about how ceremonial architecture (churches and the like) seem to effect how the arts were viewed in various parts of the world. Are there any topics scheduled for tomorrow's meeting, other than the business from the last meeting (radio show, newspaper ads, etc.)?
I know the conversation was pretty organic and I really liked how that worked. However, would it work to occasionally set up topic at one meeting so we could be a little better prepared to discuss it at the next?
"Great idea!" they said.
"Great!" I said. The first topic idea I had didn't seem to go over very well - is art product or process? - so we settled on how color affects the viewer.
So, here I go to mull over stuff in my head about what I could add to the conversation. I'm thinking, hey - maybe that year of classes I took on sound, light and color healing could come in handy here and I could finally make some use of it. Yay!
Meanwhile, our faculty advisor talks to me in Monday as I'm building some supports in the Art department. The League was supposed to have flyers ready to go about the meeting on Wednesday - they weren't ready. Computer problems. The minutes from the last meeting were supposed to be ready as well - they weren't. More computer problems. She starts venting about how if the League doesn't get more organized and more this and more that, she's going to resign as advisor because she just doesn't need the hassles. So...I say, "I'll send out an email about it when I get home."
Let the fun and frivolity begin.
I send the email, with what was said and suggestions on how to improve a few things. We've got two secretaries, why didn't one hand the minutes over to the other one so they could be typed up on time? Our advisor suggested if there were computer problems, then the flyer could have been brought in on a disk and she could have printed it out. After talking to our advisor, I felt whatever momentum we had going for the next meeting had been effectively stopped dead.
The fun really began with the next message to come through after I sent the damn thing. It came from our advisor. Since I don't have permission to reprint it, I'll just have to paraphrase: "Oh no! I was just frustrated. YOU'RE ALL DOING A GREAT JOB!"
Great. Just give me a name tag that says:
Hello. My name is Firewolf and I'm an asshole.
Now I'm on slow burn. It wasn't even a good burn, either. I don't reply immediately to the thing because I want to sit back and think about how to respond, without making myself look like more of an ass. Meanwhile, Wednesday rolls around. Time to have a conversation with intelligent individuals about color! Yaaaaay!
Uhhh....No.
I walk in to the meeting - after debating with the little voice inside that kepy saying, "You're going to want to skip this one..." - and immediately hear, "Oh good! You're here and we can start the meeting. Our first speaker is going to do a presentation on how color affects people!"
WHAT??!! That's not what I signed up for! I make the mistake of saying just that.
The two people who didn't get their jobs done decide to be snotty. Ms. Flyer Girl snaps, "Well, it was your idea to do it!" Minute Girl says, "Talking is presenting. Just talk!" as several people glare at me.
Great. Change that name tag to:
Hello. My name is Firewolf and I'm an unprepared asshole with an attitude problem.
The slow burn was now raging. None of the problems in the email were addressed, except to say, "We're just getting started! Geez!" The advisor didn't even show up. She left the campus. Not only did the format of the thing change somewhere along the line, but only two other people came prepared with something about the topic.
The absolute worst part was that one of my favorite instructors came to the meeting. I hated how I appeared in front of her because of all this bullshit. I wish she didn't have to see the whole debacle.
On top of it all, as I was leaving, a guy that sat behind me during the meeting said, "Have a nice daaaAAaaay..." I kept walking so I wouldn't deck him...although I'm not entirely sure it wouldn't have been worth the consequences.
When it was all said and done, though, I can honestly say the night ended on a better note. After coming home to my cats - who I knew would be happy to see me and didn't expect the impossible - I went back to the class, which is taught by...you guessed it - my favorite instructor. During my break, I took a short walk in the rain to get away and just cleanse myself of the day's stress. I also got to play in a water puddle with my friend Sharon. She was having an equally bad day and we just needed to do something. Security came by as we did and slowed down as he passed us - I guess he was trying to figure out why these two grown women were barefoot and splashing around like crazy people. I didn't care. Who can stay pissed after playing in a water puddle?
So dearhearts, the lesson is this: treat yourselves tonight. Even if - especially if - your day has been pretty damn nasty, do something silly and play. It's the best and cheapest therapy there is.
...especially if you use your imagination.
SQUISH!
Page and graphics Copyright 2004 D. Firewolf
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