Geez. Eleven forty seven at night and I am not even sleepy. I need to leave early tomorrow so I can get to the precinct when it opens to vote. I think I've finally decided on a candidate I can vote on with a relatively clear conscience. I'm voting green. Do I think David Cobb has a chance to win the election? No. Do I think I am throwing away my vote by voting for someone other than the two most prominent candidates? No.
What I do think is this party, if things go right, has promise. They support small business owners and the environment, including finding alternative sources of energy. They support the use of industrial hemp, which seems to be a superior fiber to begin with, compared to some others in use today. There are a few things the current presidential candidate's agenda I don't agree with, like reparations for slavery. I honestly think it is too late for it. The emanicipation proclamation freed slaves in those southern states which were still in rebellion against the union in 1865. That was 139 years ago - 6.95 generations back. There is no one left alive today who would directly benefit from it, as if any sum of money could pardon such a thing as slavery. It's time to move on and follow one of the other campaign points: fair and equal treatment for everyone, no matter race, creed, gender, orientation or religion.
Yep. I can vote for this candidate. I just couldn't support John Kerry. I almost supported the Libertarians with Michael Badnarik, until I got to his stance on gay marriage: gay folks have the right to marry, it's still a lifestyle choice. (Here's the sixty four dollar question: when did you decide to be what you are? Don't you think if such a major choice was to be made, it would be unforgettable?) I certainly couldn't back Michael Peroutka with his potentially very scary platform of running the country according to Biblical values. Then there's poor Ralph Nader.
On a completely different note: perhaps one of these days, I will get a chance to decompress and throughly rest. I haven't had a complete day of solitude in about eight days now. I'm feeling pretty darn frayed around the edges and exhaustion feels as if it is just a few steps away at times. This is one of the few times when it absolutely sucks to be an INFP. I can imagine how con-vi-enent it would be to get any energy you need from the people around you.
The a-number-one killer day for me was last Wednesday. I seriously overextended myself: class at eight am, another at eleven forty five, Art League meeting at twelve thirty, no time to go home before my five pm class because I had to begin preparing some notes for a talk on how color effects the viewer at the next art league meeting and then to a star party afterwards, at eight thirty. I got home sometime after ten pm, seriously wiped out from wearing the "I'm sociable!" mask all day. I still haven't recovered.
I absolutely hate being this tired, especially for so long. I don't have any energy for anything - no journaling, no dreaming (sleep! That would be nice!) and no communing with the gods or universe...although it seems as though the universe is trying it's best to keep in touch, despite the situation.
Little sychronicities are slipping in. I was talking to a friend the other day and she was telling me about some crazy prank she was planning. I remember laughing and saying, "Oh! That would be fun!" Right afterwards, I got into my truck and started it...and George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" began playing on the radio. A little while ago, I went to get a Sobe. As I walked, I said out loud to no one in particular, "I hate being this tired!" I have several different varieties sitting in a bag, in the dark and I just grabbed the first one I came to - it was "Energy." Not Dragonfruit, not lemonade or grapefruit but "Energy."
Thank you, Universe, for keeping in touch - especially when I feel too exhausted to feel anything but the everyday routine of this world. Thank you for reminding me there is something bigger, both within and without - I am made of starstuff, literally, and capable of doing so much more than simply the routine.
Go forth and shine y'all. You're starstuff too.
Page and graphics Copyright 2004 D. Firewolf
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