sub vs. slave
(please note that for the purposes of this essay, in examples given it is assumed the slave or sub is female and the Master is male. this is only to save on the awkwardness of typing his/her and he/she again and again, and no disrespect is intended to male subs or slaves or female Dommes)
"What is in a name? Would not the rose by any other name smell as sweet?" --Wm. Shakespeare
some people who are submissive choose to call themselves "subs" or "submissives". those who submit only sexually may refer to themselves as "bottoms". i, and many others, choose to use the word slave. there are just as many words used for Those who take on Dominant roles... Dom/me, Master/Mistress, Top... but there is much less controversy surrounding those titles than the ones submissives choose to use.
i have often been asked, sometimes by those who don't even know me, why i am a slave and not a sub, and what the difference is between the two, all of which i would like to address here. keep in mind, these are only my opinions. Y/yours may be different, and Y/you have as much right to Y/your own opinions as this one has to her own.
first of all, the line between subs and slaves is fairly hazy. there is no clear-cut line one can draw between the two, because every person not only has differing opinions of the definitions, but every single person is different in their degree of submission, and their motivations behind it. i have known subs who were far more slave-like in their lives, and vice-versa. some people who fit my definition of a slave would never want to be called as such simply because they dislike the connotations of the word, historically or otherwise. others, who are actually not very submissive at all like to be called "slave", because they "find the humiliation of the word exciting" (quoted person prefers to remain anonymous).
personally, i do not find the word to be humiliating at all, as i believe my slavery is a gift of inestimably high value. i also am not troubled by the historical connotations of the word. many words have had bad and good meanings throughout history, and for me, past interpretations are of little relevance to my current usage.
in my eyes, a slave is one who is fully owned by her Master. her thoughts, her dreams, and even her desires are not her own. the only rights she has are those her Master allows her to have, and those may be removed at any time. she may or may not have the right to say no, depending on the choice of her Master, and she must be willing to accept that if she does not have that right, she must obey Him, whatever her feelings about what He has asked her to do.
a sub or submissive, on the other hand, is owned by her Master, but still may keep parts of herself solely for her self. her inner thoughts are still her own. she always retains the right to say no, to refuse her Master at any stage whether in play or other areas of life. she still retains some control of herself, her actions, and the relationship, without being given permission for such control by her Master; it is hers naturally.
neither one, sub or slave, is better than the other. neither one is "more vanilla". they are simply two varieties of the same; one creamy smooth milk chocolate, the other rich, deep dark chocolate, and both are filled with pleasure. each are equally valuable and important to the D/s community as a whole, they simply cater to different tastes, which is part of what D/s is all about.
i am a slave because my goal is utter, complete surrender. the Master of my body will also own my heart, mind, and soul. He will own my thoughts, desires and dreams. every word i speak, every wish i make on a star, every flash of pain i feel or wave of pleasure that washes over me all belong to Him. it is in this surrender that i become whole. it is in the giving of this gift that i find joy, and this is why i proudly wear the honor of the name "slave".
and it is an honor, to be allowed to submit, and be the owned slave of a true Worthy, an honor above all this girl hopes for. til next we meet, be well and happy... --di.