visualizations and visions of the future
To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others --Madame Swetchene
today was a long day and i am pretty tired. i had midterms in my classes tonight and i just ache. i was up so late last night studying. *sigh* and i'm not sure how i did on the tests. oh well, no sense worrying more about it now.
when i started getting too stressed out today, i tried using a little visualization to calm me down, and it really worked. i just closed my eyes and pictured myself kneeling at Master's feet with His hand gently stroking my hair. that, and the memory of his voice calmed me easily. it's really strange, it's a simple thing, but that is the place i go to when i meditate now to; not a garden any longer, but kneeling at His feet. that is the place i feel happiest, serving Him, being wherever He wishes me, and being there, or picturing myself there, fills me with peace far better than even the most lovely and tranquil garden ever could.
i also did a lot of thinking today about what a life with Master would be like. it is still very far off, and i realized there is so much W/we have to learn about one another still. i am very glad, i have to admit, about what He and i talked about last night. i asked Him if He would allow me, when W/we were r/l, to sleep in His bed with Him and He said yes. that fills me with joy more than anything else. there is something about that, about sleeping entwined in Someone's arms, that speaks to me so deeply of love and security, of being taken care of. i know i am His cherished possession, so i would never doubt that He would take the very very best care of me, and always do what is best for me, but i feared a little that what might be best for me might be sleeping on the floor (which i hate, i've always seen it as a punishment), but luckily it is not. i am so grateful for Master's kindnesses to me. i will always think of being allowed to share His bed as such a gift to me. it is something vanilla people take for granted, but not this girl. that intimacy i know is a gift, and it is a cherished one.
be well and happy til next W/we meet --di.