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Alumni Caucus
for Gay, Fall 1998 Newsletter |
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Peace, Liberation, and Justice:
In Memory of Matthew Shepard, Dec. 1, 1976 - Oct. 12,
1998
by Alan Ochsenbein,
'68
These are the hardest inches of column space I have written in many years, if not my lifetime. It is an emotional catharsis to pen this article, and it will help me to begin a personal closure for this terrible tragedy. Yesterday, on October 17, 1998, two hundred other ordinary people like myself attended the final memorial service for Matt Shepard. In the morning I called my Mother in Erie, PA, and told her that I was going to Wyoming. She said "be careful, there are so many people out there that just hate gays, and wouldn't think twice about doing you any harm." I wonder if Matt's Mom would have known to send her son the same warning. He was on a campus in an area that should be the bastion for creative thinking, for differences of opinion, for diversity, for questions, for discussion...certainly not to be murdered brutally because he was different. Ironically, last summer Jim and I traveled through Laramie on our way to Yellowstone and spent the night in a local motel not far from the University attended by Matt. We drove on Interstate 80 past snow fence like where Matt was killed. We were happy and joyful and never shared a concern for our personal safety. I now am wondering how naive a view of life we have as a gay couple.
Since two weeks ago, when the news broke in large headlines in the Denver Post, this area of the country and probably others have been focused on little else. The only thing that comes to mind is the good, the bad, and the ugly. There have been public outrage and sympathy, and calls for hate crime legislation. Good Wyoming people stood hand-in-hand, not caring if the hand was gay, straight, black or white, man, or woman, just united in a community outpouring of grief the likes of which I have not seen or felt since the magnitude of the Kennedy assassinations in the 60s.The gentle but caring band of mourners in Casper turned their backs on the protesters to shield the family from the frightful and incendiary messages of the Phelps group. There is the bad also: "It wasn't us who did this," a ceremonial hand-washing by the religious right who profess to love the sinner, and only hate the sin. What message does this convey to a small child growing up who only sees people, but learns that there is something wrong, evil, about them, because Mommy and Daddy say that they are an abomination? The ugliness of Fred Phelps was there: "God hates Fags". Whatever our religious backgrounds or spiritual persuasions, how could anyone treat a family in mourning for the loss of their son in such un-Godlike manner and profess to be Christians? No religion of the world has or would endorse this as an acceptable model of behavior.
At his memorial service in Cheyenne, a very beautiful and healing service, there were Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, and other religious leaders. All spoke out on justice, equality, and intolerance. The national Director of the Office of Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Concerns for the Unitarian-Universalist Association related that he did not tell his mother where he was headed to speak because she would worry. The Reverend Elder Troy Perry spoke about Hope, Healing, and Heaven. As the celebrants chose, there were four distinct ways to remember Matt: Communion and a ritual of Earth, Fire and Water. I did come away emotionally drained but feeling better as I drove the two hour drive back to Denver.
My dear alumni brothers and sisters, a thousand questions must have gone through your minds as well: Am I safe? Are we safe? What should we do? Could this happen here? Could this happen to a Matt or a Jane at Allegheny? The answer to the last question is, unfortunately, "yes". What can we do? Be a little more cautious, maybe, but we cannot live a full and productive life in a closet or in a don't ask, don't tell, environment of fear. That type of closeted behavior continues to foster fear and suspicion that somehow we must be bad people, since we cannot be proud and open about who we are. Marsha Stevens, a lesbian Christian Gospel singer and friend wrote a song, "I Will Not be Prey." We must not succumb to prey mentality by those who revile gay and lesbian people.
This is 1998 in Denver, Colorado, not 1960 in Selma, Alabama, or 1860 in Charleston, South Carolina, or 1944 at Dachau; it is here and very real. After the tears, the inconsolable grief, partners holding partners a little more closely, and the litany of condolences and sorrow over what should have been done, or what could be done, there is hope. Our collective voices must continue to be out and open, to show solidarity, and to mentor those who will follow us at Allegheny College. Although there are convincing arguments as to why hate crime legislation is not necessary, I personally believe that it sets a standard for what society will, and will not tolerate. Would a law have changed the outcome of Laramie? I don't think so. How- ever, we must each work to enact both state and federal legislation whenever possible to end employment discrimination and a variety of other pieces of legislation to reduce the differences between the homosexual and non-homosexual. As we know, after the Emancipation Proclamation, after the Holocaust, after Brown versus the Board of Education, after Rosa Parks, and after Stonewall, discrimination did not stop, but we must start somewhere. Enactment of laws help.
Whether they accept it, or not, the zealousness of the religious right does play a part in the climate of negativity in America. I would implore us to continue to oppose untruths, whenever they arise, and to forge an alliance of gay and non-gay supporters to combat the insidious affect that religious zealots have on our society. They encourage the perfect laboratory conditions that incubate and culture hate in our society. We must not be silent about negative words and phrases. These affect the dignity of all humankind, and that kind of pejorative language cannot be tolerated in our schools or places of employment. After a student's suicide at my former wife's school, she spoke out openly for the first time about her sorrow and concern at the way the school does little to support children with alternative lifestyles. She challenged the environment that allows the words "fag" and "faggot" to be used by students and to go unchallenged by responsible faculty members. This is what I mean by forging an alliance with people with the courage to speak out against intolerance.
Although this is a long letter, and I wish it could end on a happy note, it doesn't. The hero is still dead. The happiness and joy is in knowing that each of you will now be working a little harder, that you will be a little closer and more loving with each other, and that someday there will peace. Shalom, and Peace to you Matt.
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