Mmm....lovely golden kernels! I like it down here in the cellar, where I nestle amongst the warm sweetcorn. The cooks upstairs are kind, and let me stay for free as long as I shovel the corn into their vast boiling vats of an evening.
It can be a lonely life though, I don't pretend it's a bundle of laughs protecting the frontispiece all day, then shovelling corn well into the early hours - but then the wages are good...all the eggs I can eat, and my dry-cleaning paid for.
Maintaining good relations with the cooks is key to my defence of the counter - how else could I secure the vast supplies of eggs I need to mount an all-out attack on the aggressors? If it means I have to shovel piles of random vegetables, then shovel I shall. I must go now....we are expecting several tons of cubed carrots from the suppliers.