1. Your
'Imbruglia' hairdo has turned into a 'Bronwyn Bishop'...and
you've
stopped caring.
2. You have
absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
3. The "Chicken
Dance Song" seems like a really good tune.
4. You mistake
a police car from a cab and shout obscenities when it
doesn't
stop for you.
5. You've
started having a row with yourself. Out loud.
6. You've
just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in
the
ladies loo because you tried twice and ended up on the floor on your
bum.....And
it was wet.
7. You bump
into people on their way to work.
8. You keep
dancing into people and you've fallen off the podium -
twice.
9. They've
stacked all the chairs and turned the lights on.
10. You've been
flashing your boobs at passers by.
11. Creme De Menthe,
Advocaat or Grenadine suddenly seem to be viable
drink
options.
12. You start crying.
13. You can't stop.
14. There are less
than three hours before you're due to start work.
15. You've found
a deeper side to the office nerd.
16. The man you're
pashing used to be your 5th grade teacher.
17. The urge to
take all your clothes off, stand on a table and sing
"Fever"
become strangely overwhelming.
18. You've forgotten
where you live.
19. You seem to
be seeing more of the toilet bowl than the dance floor.
20. You've just
sung "I'm horny, horny horny horny ..." to a passing
police man.
21. You notice that
there's vomit on your dress and suspect that it's
yours.
22. You've started
to sound like Tommy Raudonikis from the 60 fags
you've
smoked.
23. You keep missing
your mouth with your drink.
24. You can't taste
the gin in your gin and tonic.
25. You think you're
in bed but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
26. You tell your
worst enemy that you've always loved her really.
27. The stairs take
on the appearance of that really really really
steep
slippery dip at Luna Park.
28. You've started
offering 'oral pleasure' to any male who'll listen.
29. You start every
conversation with, "Don't take this the wrong way
but..."
30. You fail to
notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
31. You challenge
the doorman to an arm wrestling competition.
32. You have to
be restrained from 'stage-diving' from the top of the
stairs.
33. You're sitting
on the floor. On your own.
34. You show your
mates that girls can wee standing up if they really
want
to.
35. You decide to
audition for 'StarSearch' via the security cameras.
36. You rediscover
your childhood gymnastic skills. On Hay Street.
37. You realise
why you gave up gymnastics.
38. You think three
blokes are chatting you up when there's actually
only
one.
39. You drop your
3am burger on the floor, pick it up and carry on
eating.
40. The entire club
has seen your pants. Twice
41. Most of them
against their will.
42. You can't see
you own face to reapply your long gone make-up. And
you
have profoundly discoverd that your mascara tastes like chicken.