Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and
affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.

One of a pair of identical twins is evil.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire
to cut. You will always choose the right one.

It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one... dancing around in a threatening manner
until you have dispatched their predecessors.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your
bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous
expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything
else, at the age of 22.

Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day
or two before retirement.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses,
lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip
club at least once.

All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the
armpits of a woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside
her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and
one bunch of carrots with leafy tops.

It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the
control tower to talk you down.

If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while
scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight,
your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and
you can travel to any other part of the building without
difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you
make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart
back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is
not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating,
but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange
noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is what they
happened to be wearing when the car broke down.

If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel from time to time.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

A police detective can only solve a case after he has been
suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you
will be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear
the music in your head.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.