These individual quotes were reportedly
taken from
actual employee performance evaluations
in a large
US Corporation.
(1) "Since my last report, this
employee has reached
rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
(2) "His men would follow him anywhere,
....... but only
out of morbid curiosity."
(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
(4) "This employee is really not
so much a 'has-been',
but more of a definite 'won't be'."
(5) "Works well when under constant
supervision and
cornered like a rat in a trap."
(6) "When she opens her mouth,
it seems that it is only
to change feet."
(7) "He would be out of his depth
in a parking lot
puddle."
(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
(9) "He sets low personal standards
and then
consistently fails to achieve them."
(10) "This employee is depriving
a village somewhere of
an idiot."
(11) "This employee should go far,
..... and the sooner
he starts, the better."
(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks
the plastic thing to
hold it all together."
(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times
worse than an
ordinary ignoramus."
(14) "He certainly takes a long
time
to make his
pointless."
(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
(17) "He's been working with glue too much."
(18) "He would argue with a signpost."
(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever
he leaves the
room."
(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
(22) "If you see two people talking
and one looks bored,
..... he's the other one."
(23) "A photographic memory but
with the lens cover
glued on."
(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
(25) "Donated his brain to science
before he was done
using it."
(26) "Gates are down, the lights
are flashing, but the
train isn't coming."
(27) "Has two brains: one is lost
and the other is out
looking for it."
(28) "If he were any more stupid,
he'd have to be
watered twice a week."
(29) "If you give him a penny for
his thoughts, you'd
get change."
(30) "If you stand close enough
to him, you can hear the
ocean."
(31) "It's hard to believe that
he beat 1,000,000 other
sperm to the egg."
(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
(33) "Some drink from the fountain
of knowledge,.....
he only gargled."
(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
(35) "The wheel is turning, but
the hamster is dead."