39. `I`ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex`
38. Duct tape won`t fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I`ll have a Heineken.
35. We don`t keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can`t feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it`s not safe.
30. Wrasslin`s fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We`re vegetarians.
27. Do you think my hair is too big?
26. I`ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
24. Who`s Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn`t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I`ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I`ve got it all on a floppy disk.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancee, Betty Jo, is registered at Tiffany`s.
11. I`ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She`s too old to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here`s an episode of `Hee Haw` that we haven`t seen.
5. I don`t have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a redneck say--

1. Elvis who?