Polyamory is a philosophy that allows a person to have more than one love (emotional, spiritual, and/ or sexual) at a time, openly and honestly. It is a conscious attempt to create a cultural style that allows and supports individuals to relate to each other in an open, honest and respectful manner and promotes true, unrestricted intimacy in all areas of relating as the optimum basis for the development of the whole individual and a truly healthy society.

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We invite individuals who desire to step outside accepted relationship models that often result in jealousy, possessiveness, co-dependency, dishonesty etc.; to join us in exploring the possibilities of creating a more loving world based on individual freedom, personal responsibility, social tolerance and the celebration of human diversity.

Group marriage, open couples, extended families and intimate networks are a few of the options we advocate. This is not a swinging or a casual sex group but a path towards multiple, sustained, intimate, committed but nonpossessive relationships.

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We have weekly meetings where we can share our thoughts and experiences about our own relationships in a friendly and supportive environment.

We have a library of books, magazines and videos on polyamory from various sources around the world.

We hold a monthly pot-luck dinner.

We have a number of members interested in living in some form of co- housing situation in Nelson and also starting up our own businesses.

We are developing a rural retreat that will be used for running experiential workshops on Polyamory.

What we do at group meeting.

NOTE: The following Meeting Schedule is temporarily on hold — until further notice. Please check with one of the Contact People above.

Meetings are normally held on Friday afternoon from around 12 :30pm at one of our members’ homes.

One of the main ideas behind the Polyamory philosophy is that individuals need to be supported in developing and integrating all aspects of their beings. These aspects can be seen as intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual. Our meetings are loosely arranged to allow us to communicate with each other on all these levels in an open, honest and supportive space.

Agenda

• Opening ceremony - To mark the start of the meeting we perform a short group activity that may involve singing, dancing , meditating - whatever seems appropriate at the time and which is agreed on by all the participants.

• Elect a facilitator - The group decides on who will facilitate the meeting. A different person is chosen each week so that we all have a turn. The facilitator is responsible for ensuring that there is time to cover all the agenda items as well as adding his or her own particular style and flavour to the proceedings.

• Mission statement - The facilitator reads out the Loving More mission statement as a way to focus the group on its’ purpose.

• Donations - We have agreed to make a gold coin donation each meeting. The money is used for purchasing polyamory literature, videos etc; or to cover promotional costs such as newspaper adverts. Any expenditure is agreed to beforehand during our meetings. If you are attending a meeting for the first time we do not expect you to make any donation.

• Personal poly happenings - Each person in the group shares any significant events, thoughts, revelations or activities of a polyamorous nature that have occupied them during the week.

• Planning social events

• Poly promotions - One important purpose of the N.P.S. is to spread the word amongst the unenlightened Nelson public. We achieve this through placing adverts and posters, and by word of mouth. We are always actively discussing new ways to promote ourselves.

• Reflect on Polyamory literature - We have a number of books and magazines that discuss various aspects of polyamory. Someone will often pick out a particular article to read out and discuss.

• Experiential Session - Polyamory is a way of "being" not just an ideological concept. With this in mind we aim to have some sort of group experiential activity. Individuals can propose various options and the group decides which ones they want to do. Note : No one is under any obligation to participate in any activity. We normally try to choose something that we are all interested in doing but if not that’s fine too.

End time - The meeting finishes when everyone has left . By 3pm we have normally covered everything on the agenda and the facilitator can drop his role. People are free to stay on and just have general discussions about whatever and leave whenever it suits them.

Polyamory is a broad concept that allows and requires individuals to decide on the kind of relationship style that suits them. Below are comments from a few of our members on what polyamory means for them:

Sarah: For me, polyamory is something very wide and all embracing, involving every aspect of living. It is about communicating with and loving my fellow humans in an authentic, open, inclusive and unlimiting way, as one whole family, with a wealth of possible intimacies or companionships, without pressure for this to be sexual - it is about mutual empowerment and mutual pleasure, which includes political action to promote the sharing of resources so that we all have the means to flourish and develop our unique contributions to life.

Vikki: I am part of a community in which the sacred manifests through inner integrity and where the integrity of every self is valued. I value our diversity as unique expressions of this living planet, while embracing the unboundedness of our true selves.

Neil: I find living a polyamorous lifestyle to be very liberating and rewarding. I have the freedom to be myself without the fear of being rejected for not fitting in with others’ expectations. It is about remembering to have fun and not being SO SERIOUS!!!

Doug: Polyamory encourages me to explore, to practice compersion. I find it exciting and stimulating to meet others who think and feel in the same way.

Shimeah: To me Polyamory is a lifestyle based on personal growth and new ways of perceiving the world. We are a network of good friends whose relationships are based on trust, openness, honesty and integrity and we are free to take intimacy to whatever level we feel comfortable with. We are social and supportive of each other while endeavoring to make life an unfolding and vibrant experience. I believe unity on many levels is the way to future harmony on the planet.

Pauline: What I like about our Polyamory group:

Freedom - To be myself

Friendships - That are evolving and exciting

Respect - For our many varied and interesting opinion

Commitment - To encourage each other on our journeys thru life Communication - Open and honest .

.Sylvia: I found P. a nice group of people with certain experience in the 30 to 50+ bracket.We meet every Friday in a relaxed atmosphere where everyone accepts each other the way they are including myself. I also find any individual quite different from each other, which makes the group interesting. The group is based on trust, honesty and confidentiality,which makes it challenging to talk freely what ever you feel. I like the idea to share time, thoughts, emotions, feelings and accept the idea about intimacy of having different partners if you wish, although its not expected nor compulsory.

Marie: Polyamory for me is a proactive resource for practicing clear communication; to express and develop my beliefs creatively in relating with open-hearted people in an encouraging environment.

Anon: "Have sex with only one partner " I am told. Who told me that and during what time period? What about my lusty thoughts and desires, do they count? Just because I have sex with someone does that give me the right to own / possess them. I certainly have feelings like that. I don’t want them but I want to express them because it’s the truth. With practice I will rid myself of fear emotions which leaves pure love.