J's Woman-Centered Erotica

J's Woman-Centered Erotica Resource Pages

Guide to Toys

As asked for by a number of browsers/correspondents, a bit of info on what to look for in toys. I happen to frequently drive to a large city where there are stores that have cutting-edge selections of many types of toys, but I know that for those who are limited what is offered in the sort of small town that I actually live in, what is offered (if at all) in local places can be a very inadequate selection, and trying to go through mail-order catalogs can be

Material. I don't know why any woman would want to use a toy that isn't made of something at least as soft as the (relatively) new "jelly" material, or at least a very soft vinyl or rubber. The old hard vibrators are an uncomfortable and unsatisfying relic of the past, girlfriend, and I almost want to try to perform an intervention when I see a gal buying one. Besides jelly, there are two wonderul new innovations of just the last year or two: Cyberskin and Senso. Cyberskin is supposed to feel like real skin, has about the consistency of a hard boiled egg white and comes mostly as vibrator sheaths. Senso is the brand name of a product made of a material that has about the consistency of jello (yes, it's amazing it can be so pliable and still hold together), and is made mostly in products intended for use by men, but some of the shapes can be used as vibrator sheaths or for other creative applications. From a strictly cleanliness standpoint, silicone is ideal, not absorbing anything (even jelly and vinyl stain sometimes) and being readily sanitizable, though it's hard to find toys in and expensive; other materials may be hard to really clean thoroughly, and have to be thrown out eventually.
Size. For some reason, toys in catalogs and stores always look bigger than the ones I have even if they aren't. I suggest you take a ruler and measure what you have for reference (or at least compare things to something like multiple finger-widths and hand lengths so that you can make discreet comparisons while browsing), and only deal with catalogs that provide accurate size information.
G-Spot. It seems to me that just about every woman has a spot that is at least a little bit extra sensitive, so toys designed for this will be some fun to all, though you're probably less than likely to discover that you're one of those incredibly sensitive women.
Fancy female "hands free" vibrators. There are all sorts of things sold under names like "scorpion" and "butterfly" that are supposed to offer a "hands-free" satisfaction and even to be able to be worn under clothes. In my experience, they rarely fit right and stay there, and tend to vibrate too intensely (due to cheap controls that don't allow fine adjustment) when you do get good contact with sensitive parts. The new "vibrating panties", which have a little vibrator built in, suffer from similar pitfalls. Nonetheless, they can be fun to experiment with, and may be satisfying with some minimal attention to keeping them in place, but I suggest you not get your hopes up that they will be quite as wonderful as the advertising implies. It is amusing to try wearing something out under clothing, though - my suggestion is pick a bottom with pockets, and cut a slit in the top of the pocket near the waistband so that you can slip the vibrator control into the pocket from inside the garment, and have easy access to it without any wires showing by just inconspicuously putting your hand in your pocket. Experiment with things at home before going out with them, and avoid situations where you can't readily turn off or remove something that becomes uncomfortable.
Strap-Ons. First, spring for a good harness and avoid the cheap ones; the worst are uncomfortable and almost unusable. Be sure to get a harness that gives you the option of using soft toys with it; the woman-run operations are the best for harnesses and toys to go with them. Pay attention to the difference between thong-type harnesses, and those with straps like men's jock straps
Double-enders. These look really interesting, and it might have looked really fun if you saw one being used by a couple in a video, but the truth is that it requires a lot of practice and coordination between partners to be really satisfying (remember, of course, that they're mostly "faking it" in those videos). Nonetheless, they can be worthwhile to get just to play with, even alone.
Rear play. Women who have had unsatisfying experiences with men, or who have just been apprehensive, may find a soft toy and a gentle feminine touch open up a whole new area of play. You want the softest and most pliable toys possible - jelly or silicone - but some of the plugs are still made of uncomfortable hard rubber, and are best avoided if you can find the new jelly versions. Also, too much texture, and too much - or too sharp - ribbing becomes uncomfortable very quickly; some of the toys supposedly sold especially for this do not meet these qualifications. The biggest tips besides picking a toy (and not starting out too large) are to relax, use a lot of lubrication, and go slowly. There's not much more I can say on a public web page, but this is a favorite area in which I have a lot of experience, so write me if you want to know more.
Covers, sheaths and extenders. These add-on toy accessories are useful in many ways to make any toy better fit your needs: softer and smoother finished, more or less textured, longer, larger, etc.
Condoms. Besides the safe sex angle, they are very useful for cleanliness, and helping prevent transmission of yeast infections between partners or from front to rear. They also make rough-surfaced toys smoother, and protect sensitive surfaces. Many of the softer rubber-type materials are damaged by oil-based lubricants (vaseline, mineral and baby oils, and a lot of "adult" products that contain these), and the new silicone condoms like Avanti will protect them (latex condoms themselves are weakened and left more liable to break). Even a regular condom - also available in larger sizes for those of us who like their toys big - will help protect toys, it's just that they run a risk of breaking during prolonged heavy use or if really stretched, which may not matter (and is cheaper than expensive silicone) if safe sex is not a factor.
Lubricants. Last but not least. I've come to prefer massage and mineral (baby) oils for all forms of erotic play starting with massage (indeed, my favorite way to start with a partner), but they have the disadvantage of attacking many types of latex and rubber (see condoms, above). At the moment I've started experimenting with a new silcone-based lubricant called Millennium that amongst other advantages is incredibly slick, not water soluble (a big issue for those of us who think the bath, shower, or hot tub is the perfect place to play), and apparently compatible with all materials. It's well worth getting a variety of different lubricants and experimenting to find out what works best for you. Also, check out Womyn's Wear's page on the topic at http://www.womynsware.com/stglubes.htm

More to come...I've just started on this, and welcome ideas about experiences good and bad, or questions readers may have.

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