NEVER
Sleep With A Porcupine

THEY WIN

The season finished with a fantastic shut-out win over the town's long time rival. "Just three games and we're state champions. Don't get overconfident fellas," begged coach after quieting the after game celebration.

Matt caught Walt's eye and pointed at the locker room door with a jerk of his head. "Meet me outside " he mouthed across the room.

As they climbed into the River Runner, Walt asked their destination.

With his typical dippy grin on his face Matt stated, "You'll see, fella. You'll see. Just sit back and relax. Enjoy the ride. No big party. No big crowd. I know how you hate that scene. I get tired of it myself once in a while and like to escape."

"Bull shit, O Exalted One."

"It's the damn truth, you mean mouthed ass hole. I'm just going to share my getaway with you. Thought you might enjoy it."

"Why?" Walt was inquisitive and also trying to come up with an answer to the question himself.

"Like I said, dummy, sometimes it all gets to me and I like to be able to disappear. Just thought you might like to be able to, too. O.K.?? Now shut the hell up and let me drive."

Walt wanted to continue but caught the firm semi-angry tone in Matt's voice. Walt locked the door and leaned back closing his eyes, feeling the night air. He paid little attention to the route Matt was weaving through town.

They left the east side on River Road. The blacktop followed the winding of the river but slowly drew further and further away. As the lights of town faded into the background, they passed the first mile crossing.

Approaching the second, Matt slowed and then pulled to a stop in front of a chained gate that was the only gap in a massive stand of ceders marching beside the road, blocking any view of the river. Matt jumped out and unlocked the gate. After pulling through he relocked it. The gravel lane circled a short row of matching ceders. Matt drove right around them. Tires crunched as Matt pulled up beside a fairly impressive log cabin with a screened porch across the front. Two chimneys poked through the roof. White wisps of smoke from one danced toward the shimmering moonlit river.

Matt turned off the car. Silence surrounded them. "Well, what do you think? Will we be bothered here?"

"That all depends upon how many other pals and gals you have brought out here without blindfolding them first."

Matt turned to face Walt. "Damn fine idea, ass hole. But, I haven't and won't. Like I said, this is where I go to get away by myself. Honest, since we moved here and I found this place, you, my friend, are the first to see it -- besides my dad. Care to take a tour?" Matt proceeded to highlight the outside features of the hideaway, storage shed, propane tank, wood pile, a dock jutting into the river, a float anchored out in the deep water. " The smallest sand beach in the world." He pointed at an area next to the dock that appeared to be only two to three yards wide.

"Now, let's get inside." Mat shouted at Walt to follow and rushed up the porch steps and through the screen door. Walt caught up as he opened the cabin door. There was one giant room across the front with a kitchen alcove in the middle of the back wall. The left and right thirds of the back were lined with drawers and shelves of all sizes. In the middle of these built-ins on each side of the kitchen were business-like restroom doors. Centered on the east door was a male figure over "MEN". On the west was the matching female with "WOMEN".

The fireplace at the east end was filled with a crackling fire. Its warmth had filled the room. "I did that before the game so things would be comfortable," Matt explained about the fire.

Two bunk-size beds were located against the font wall; one on either side of the front door. The rest of the room was a jumble of rugs, monster pillows and giant bean bag chairs. The other fireplace had been transformed to hold a television, a high fidelity record player and a tape deck.

"Wow! Hot damn! Gawwd! Is this place for real? She-e-e-e-e-it, man!!" It was quite clear to Matt that Walt was impressed.

Spinning around in the middle of the room, Matt let his arms fly pointing to and embracing it all. "Yes. Oh, yes. It's real. It's ours. If you want to share it like the car, that is. Here's your keys." He pulled a set from his pocket and tossed them at Walt. "We have to agree on only one rule if this is O.K. with you. No one else! Just us! Together or alone, by ourselves. No outsiders." Matt's voice had that hard edge.

Walt was startled by the quickness of it all. In awe of the cabin itself, he was finding it hard to believe Matt had been willing to bring him here. Now Matt was offering to share it. He nodded, not sure if he was indicating understanding of the reality of the place or agreement with Matt's offer. Overwhelmed he sunk onto the nearest bean bag lump.

His stunned reaction seemed to catch Matt unprepared. He approached Walt. Stopping in front of where Walt had collapsed, he reached out and mussed Walt's hair. "Too much, too fast? I have a bad habit of doing that, Hands. Just wanted to surprise you.

"Like I do know you prefer to be left alone and since we've become friends it seemed this was a perfect place for you. I just use it once in a while. You know me, I usually love the social whirl and pressing the flesh. Even get a kick out of the mob from the media."

Matt continued explaining, and softly pleading for Walt's acceptance. "The place is too much if it's just used to support my need to escape once in a while. Please, think about it, please."

Walt heard most of Matt's spiel. The word that bounced around in his head ringing like a bell was 'friends'. Matt considered him his friend. Matt honestly didn't care if Walt was a loner or a party guy. Matt really liked him just for himself. Matt's offer was without strings insofar as Walt was concerned. Matt had it and didn't need it 100 percent. So why not?

"God damn it, O Exalted One, you're on! Thanks, Matt. It's a swell hideaway with just the right touch of trashyness." Walt started chuckling as he accepted. Throwing his legs in the air he was soon laughing so hard that tears streamed.

"Thank God. I knew I wouldn't handle this right. But, I hoped it would work out," Matt confessed. "And what the hell is so funny?"

Walt caught his breath. He swallowed his hysteria and replied, "Shit, man. I'm just happy. Hasn't that happened to you, O Exalted One? Happy, damn it, happy! This place is great."

For the next few hours Matt showed off the entertainment center and his collection of tapes and records. The library on the back wall was equally eclectic. "That's not all. Check this out," announced Matt. From under one of the beds he pulled a full set of weights, bar bell, four dumbbells and a storage box with an array of strap on weights. "You did notice the incline bench? Right?"

Walt nodded, although he had actually missed it -- along with quite a few of the other amenities that surrounded them.

Next Matt was throwing open the bathroom door marked 'MEN'. "Check out the facilities, buddy," he requested. "Double everything and outside access for showering or whatever during the summer. Notice the fact that one can wash down the whole room using the portable shower head." The room gleamed all shining silver steel with black and white tiled ceiling, walls and floor.

"Looks like a freekin' hospital operating room. Room for a lot of visitors. Thought you said that didn't happen. What gives?" asked Walt.

"Place use to be a multi-family retreat. It was used for summer gettogethers, fishing expeditions and gangs of hunters in season. They moved. Couldn't take it with them. It had been sitting for a while when I found it and got Dad to buy it for me. The bathrooms and their independent propane water heaters were the only part that didn't need attention to make the place livable," explained Matt. "Satisfied? Damn, you're hard to please. By the way, want to settle in and spend the night? Or do you need to get home? If we stay, I can get you to work in the morning." Matt's questions and offered seemed off hand and sincere.

"I'd like that. Just need to call mom. The phone working?"

Matt spread his arms and shrugged in exasperation. ""Told you this place was made livable. Even a retreat needs a way to communicate with the outside world. Hell yes, the phone works."

Walt let his mom know he would be gone for the night. He asked if everything would be all right until he was home after work tomorrow. Turning from the phone he let Matt know everything was fine. "You're going to have to pick me up after work, or take me by the house so I can get my bike in the morning. Any problem?"

"Nope. We'll do whatever you want," replied Matt. "We can drag the beds in front of the T.V. if you want."

Great idea. I'm going exploring in the kitchen," said Walt.

Soon they were settled with a few grunts of conversation and popcorn; the late show spilling from the tube. Matt was the first to admit he was tired. He jerked awake twice, swore and lumbered across the room to the bathroom in his stocking feet.

"Gotta shit"

He emerged yawning with a toilet flushing in the background. Walt looked up. Matt was wearing only his native crooked smile. "This is my pajamas, Hands ol' man." At the fake mantel-piece he set a morning alarm. Lowering the T.V. volume, he turned. "See you in the a.m." he said as his nakedness passed Walt. "Keep it quiet if you want to watch anything else. Need my beauty sleep." Pulling back the covers Matt sunk into bed and rolled over. Before Walt knew it his friend was snoring.

Matt was gently shaking his shoulder. Walt muttered and rolled over. Matt smacked him on his butt and yelled in his ear. Walt was awake. "Wha' happened to the alarm?" he asked.

"It went off, ass hole. You ignored it so I let you sleep a late as possible," was Matt's reply. "Coffee? Cereal? Get up. We need to get you to work pronto." Matt was already dressed; his bed back against the wall. Something in the kitchen smelled good.

- o o o -

Over the next weeks the state championship playoff games were the focus of everyone in town. The team rolled up impressive victories in the first two games and were 21 point favorites for the crown.

During this same time Matt made it clear he did consider Walt his closest friend. In fact he now seldom made a move off the field without asking Walt to join him. Usually it was an 'I know you don't like the scene, but a bunch of us are . . . ' invitation. Walt usually declined due to conflicts with work and needing to take care of things at home. Sometimes he had to take Matt aside and remind him that the social whirl was not something he enjoyed. Matt still kept passing the invitations and pressured Walt to give in at least once in a while.

One the rare occasion when Walt had time and did decide to test the waters he found he didn't feel as odd as he expected. A lot of the ease in these new situations was due to Matt's air of acceptance. Whether Walt seemed along for the ride or actually spoke up, Matt made it clear he liked having Walt along.

There were times when Walt could have accepted but felt the old need to be alone. When he did, he now would retreat by roaring down River Road on his bike and hiding in the calm silence of the cabin. Being honest with himself, he knew at times it was just to soak in the shower and masturbate like crazy.

The afternoon of the championship game it seemed the entire state was in the Capitol City University stadium. Matt's former teammates made a pre-game locker room visit. No Cap City team had made the playoffs so the city proudly adopted their former star and his new team.

The press cameras and shouting reporters were everywhere. Walt was so pumped for the game he even opened up and gave two pre-game interviews.

The game itself was a let down. Matt and Walt were unstoppable. Although the team's defense was pushed around more than they had been all season, their opponent's defense didn't have the speed to get in Walt's way. Neither could they crunch through to sack Matt. The offensive line gave them a lesson, stopping every pass rush cold.

The victory parade ran from the Capitol City University stadium parking lot across the state, on the bypass to Main on the south, north through town on Main and into the high school parking lot. The team bus was never without a police escort and a minimal two mile tail of honking cars filled with screaming fans.

A stage had been built across the front walkway at the school. Amidst the jostling, joyous crowd the team and coach snaked their way to the stage. A voice over the loud speakers mounted at the back begged the crowd to 'Let our boys through. Please, let them through.'

On the stage everyone had to have his say. The crowd wasn't satisfied with just the florid prose of congratulations from the mayor, the school superintendent and the principal. Every member of the team was called forward with his name booming from the crowd and required to say something, anything before he could retreat from the microphone.

Walt was next to last. Matt, as expected, was the final team spokesman. As his thanks to the fans rolled across the crowd in his soft drawl, Walt saw Matt's father hugging the coach. His mouth was pressed to coach's ear. With Matt's final words echoing off the school, he reached behind him and hoisted the trophy high over his head. The crowd lost all control, screaming and pounding on each other in delight. The waves of sound washed over the stage, back across the crowd and forward again. Walt wondered if it was ever going to end.

Coach took the mike. Holding his arms out he signaled for quiet. It took time, but eventually the roar lowered in volume. "We have one more honor for these guys. Something they didn't know was planned for when they won the championship." This triggered a new wave of shouting that drowned out the coach. Signaling again for quiet, he waited patiently. When the noise level again reached a reasonable volume, he continued. "Mr. Rivers has a special gift for each team member. Guys, here are your own state championship rings." The listening audience let out a new roar of appreciation and kept it pouring over the stage as Mr. Rivers passed out the rings.

Matt thanked his dad, as did each team member. He then turned to Walt. "Just like the Super Bowl, Hands. Hot damn!" He grabbed Walt in a bear hug, catching Walt by surprise just as he had exhaled. Struggling for breath Walt pounded Matt on the side. Releasing him Matt collapsed laughing.

"That's the thanks I get. You damn near kill me," Walt sputtered.

"You should have seen your face," Matt said, catching his breath. The humor of it, and Matt's infectious laughter soon had Walt laughing too. Arm in arm they turned and left the stage. At the bottom of the stairs they paused. Matt thanked Walt for making it a great year and stuck out his hand. Walt, in matching mock seriousness, shook hands and thanked Matt.

"It's over."

"We did it."

"Want to celebrate?"

"Too damn tired from all that running to catch your shit."

With a smack on Walt's shoulder and a punch at his face Matt turned and walked away. After five steps he turned, waved his hand and quietly said "I'm damn glad I have you as a friend."

- o o o -

Matt's social offers to Walt continued. Walt found he was more and more adjusting to being with people. At least if they weren't ignorant fools. Or if they were sexually active and agreeable females.

This last change resulted from his double dating with Matt. Matt picked from the cream of the crop of the females that were constantly available to the two stars. Walt found out Matt already had experience with the female sex. He learned as he went, himself. Matt seemed to have a good eye for selecting girls that looked good but loved to act bad.

They carried rubbers in the car, but only went as far as their dates would allow. Parents in town trusted these boys. They had the best of manners. They usually had their dates home on time. Everything about Matt and Walt helped the parental approval rating they enjoyed -- which allowed them to sample the favors of almost every 'nice' girl in town.

When they went to the cabin after a hot double date, they wound down comparing note. There was a competitiveness to their good natured evaluation of their respective sexual endeavors and abilities.

The first time they discussed the sexual nature of their night out there was a curious overtone that initially made Walt uncomfortable. He couldn't explain to himself what was wrong, or even if there was something wrong.

He had expected to be embarrassed earlier that night when it became obvious that Matt's date was masturbating him in the front seat. Instead it was a turn on that opened the door, and his zipper, for his date. Walt didn't think he would be able to talk about what happened when they ended up at the cabin later. Matt was matter of fact and open about everything. He assumed Walt was interested in hearing the front seat details. He also voiced his natural curiosity about Walt's activities in the back seat.

After a few more post-date evaluations Walt forgot his original qualms and feelings of discomfort. Quite often the humor in their sexual conquests and resulting scrambling and positioning of body parts and limbs had them both in hysterics as the recounted the evening's exploits.

- o o o -

The week before Christmas Matt appeared at closing time in the showroom to check if Walt was free for the evening. Walt was and Matt offered to treat him to dinner.

Seated in a booth at one of the local drive ins, Walt joked about the extravagant fare. "Well this was just a cover story, pal," replied Matt. "I wanted you in a public place so you'd have to sit still when I wished you Merry Christmas." Matt raised his arm and snapped his fingers. From the next booth two of the cheer leaders appeared; each with a brightly wrapped box.

"What the hell is this, O Exasperating One?"

"What I said it was. My Merry Christmas to you. Sit down girls and let Walt open his presents. When you're finished we're all going to the movies. If that's all right with you?" Matt again had that crazy lop sided grin pasted on his face.

The small box was red, the big one green. They lay on the table and Walt studied them. To Jan, the cheerleader seated next to him, Walt whispered, "Rubbers in the the little one, a bomb in the big one."

She blushed but didn't giggle. Nice, thought Walt. Not an air head. Leave it to Matt. With that he ripped into the packages. It was a watch and a new bike helmet. Walt was speechless. "But, but . . . " he sputtered.

"Stop it. Just being my buddy, that's your present to me." Matt's voice was firm and his eyes locked with Walt's. 'Don't fuck it up, buddy,' they said.

After the movie they dropped off the girls. Walt turned to Matt. "You've got to let me repay you for everything some way. I know you're having extra help to get your grades up. Let me help, too. You know damn well I'm a better student than any of the tutors you have."

Matt considered the offer. "Maybe. After the vacation break -- we can talk about this some more then." Walt knew the Rivers were leaving town to spend the vacation skiing at Aspen.

"I'm holding you to that. You definitely are an exasperating one, damn it," Walt noted as he opened the door. "See you after vacation. Have fun," he called back as he moved up the walk.

- o o o -

Matt called to check in and give Walt the highlights of vacationing in Aspen the day the Rivers got back in town. The next Saturday he was at the showroom early. "Let's go out to the cabin. I need calm and quite after that wild scene in Aspen. I just don't want to be totally alone. Please come, I'm comfortable with you, Hands."

When they were settled in Matt brought up the study assistance offer. He let Walt know that no repayment was needed or expected for anything. But, he admitted Walt was smarter than the current tutors. He also made it clear he would rather be studying with Walt, if Walt's offer was still open.

"I really want you to let me do this," said Walt. "I hear what you are saying about no strings, no obligations. Sure, gifts are gifts. But I'd feel a hell of a lot better if you'd let me repay you. If we're partners in all this," he gestured wide covering the room and the car sitting outside, "I want to pay my part, somehow."

"Enough! Enough! You can teach me." Matt's eyes were sparkling and his grin beamed. "I already said I wanted you to, if the offer was still open. Guess it is, right?"

The rest of the night was without a post-date debate on who was the best lover, or any analysis of sexual endeavors. It was just like the first time -- junk food from the kitchen, some music, some T.V., little conversation, just friends relaxing.

It quickly became a once a week happening that the two of them disappeared from the social scene. The time was spent studying at the cabin with a little goofing off or working out when they took a break. There was no set pattern, no scheduled day. One would spot the other in the hall and ask the question. Or Matt would appear at the showroom before the end of work. It seemed they could gage each other's moods. They continued to double date, but kept that part of their friendship and related time at the cabin apart from their study times. Matt wasn't interested in any text book stuff after a date. And, to be honest, neither was Walt. They both still received a lot of attention because of their football exploits. So, if they weren't bull shitting about their sexual affairs, their conversations frequently replayed games and considered what ifs and things they could have done even better.

In mid-January Matt found out that Walt's birthday was on the tenth of February. Matt worked with an old friend in Central City to design Walt's gift. Although it was a special order, it was promised to arrive in time for the private party Matt had planned.

The evening of Walt's birthday there was a small cake with candles on the kitchen counter when they got to the cabin. Matt excused himself and returned from the bathroom wearing a tee shirt. It was emblazoned high across the chest 'Touchdown Kings'. Under the letters appeared a reproduction of two photos. On the right was Matt just after releasing the ball. On the left was Walt in full stride crossing the goal line, hands in position to snare the ball. The ball itself was caught in mid-flight right at the top -- half in one picture, half in the other.

Walt stood in shocked surprise. His mouth gaped open.

"Here's yours, Hands." Matt tossed a shirt at Walt who caught it instinctively. "Check out the back."

Walt shook out his shirt which was a duplicate of the one Matt had on and turned it over. Centered on the back it read 'Kings for a season / Friends for life'. He had a lump in his throat. He couldn't speak but just beamed.

- o o o -


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