I went to buy some makeup,
And I went into the mall,
I made it to the drug store,
And it seemed no time at all.

Feeling somewhat timid,
On buying something femme,
I'm not like several others,
Who can buy without a qualm.

So, picking up the makeup,
A flash light and a bar,
I went up to the check out,
Which wasn't very far.

The lady took the objects,
And wrapped them up for me,
There wasn't any incident,
As far as I could see.

So, feeling rather confident,
And inward, full of glee,
I wandered into Wal-Mart,
To see what I could see.

The lady at the entrance,
Took my little bag,
Took it with a flourish,
Put on a little tag.

My little bag secure now,
I wandered through the store,
To the lingerie department,
Where I had been before.

I knew just what to look for,
I knew what I had seen,
A high waist panty girdle,
Had made my eyes agleam.

Picking up the girdle,
What did I espy?
A full length satin girdle,
Caught my eager eye.

So, feeling very bold now,
I checked the items out,
Hoping for no incident,
That, I can do without.

But, no, there was no problem,
No incident as such,
The lady wrapped my girdles,
And I thanked her very much.

So, feeling very pleased now,
And very much the toff,
I sauntered out the door,
THE ALARM BELL WENT OFF.