The Premiere Episode

Welcome to my first entry of my first online journal!

Right now, I'm on Spring Break, but instead of being somewhere sunny and warm, I'm home in New England and it's raining and gray and I became sick of my parents in the first hour of being here. But you probably don't really care about that. On to the important stuff...

Just as I was emotionally ready to have a relationship with a woman, I met a nice guy...yes, one of the FEW on the planet (no offense of course to all my nice guy friends, but you understand...) So anyway, we started dating about "-4 weeks ago. He's really nice...he has a beautifully high tenor voice...which maybe I like, not that it sounds feminine, but it's much different from a deep, overly macho bass voice (once again, no offense to my bass friends). The thing is...he doesn't know I'm bisexual. He kind of asked if I was a lesbian...I was reading emails from a mailing list where the argument progressed to calling this one guy a fag. This infuriated me! (We were on the phone.) He asked me why it bothered me so. Now, he had made a few references to his notion (as well as most of the country's) that women's colleges are full of lesbians (is this supposed to be a bad thing?). The funny thing is that our other stereotype is of rich girls going to a finishing school who wear pearl necklaces to class. I think we should just combine the two images...we're rich lesbians going to a finishing school with pearl necklaces, leg and armpit hair, perms, and combat boots.

Sorry, bout the tangent, I do that a lot. So anyway, I told him I was very pro-gay and that no I was not a lesbian (after all, I'm not). I told him about the choir director at my church when I was young who was one of my Mom's closest friends, and he died of AIDS. I was raised to be very accepting of everyone, blah blah blah, etc. etc. Why didn't I tell him I was bi? Well, my roommate was in the room and she didn't know, so I didn't think this was the way to spill the beans. Also, what if the guy and I didn't hit it off? Is it his business then who I like? But after talking to a friend here, I decided I should tell him. In any case, it's a part of who I am. I care for him and don't want to hide who I am.

However, I'm going to tell my best friend first...she has first dibs on this kind of knowledge. I was going to tell her over Christmas Break, but there wasn't any good time to do it. So, I'll have to tell her over the phone. If only my long distance code hadn't been disconnected... But once I tell her, I'm telling my buddies at school, because I want them to know. Then I can tell the guy and when he flips out and decides I'm not the sweet innocent girl he seems convinced that I am (though in reality I truly am at times), we'll break up and won't that be the shits. Hopefully, he will be all cool. If it's any consolation to him, I may be bisexual, but it doesn't mean, I've done anything with anyone! I'm more virginal with women than I am with men...though considering how virginal I am (does the name Mary ring a bell...?), it's not saying much. I would hate to use that as a justification though. It's like saying well, I want to axe-murder people to death, but I haven't yet. GRRRR! ARGH!

Well, I must go for now. Dinner needs to be cooked and I rented "Excess Baggage" to de-stress with. Au revoir! A bientot! :-)