What I'm Thinking

You want to know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking that I love you so much, it just fills up my heart and spills over (that's what causes those happy tears).

I'm thinking that I am the luckiest woman, or heck, the luckiest person, on this earth because I met you and got to love you.

I'm thinking of my own happy memories...pushing your hair out of your eyes, lying in your arms on your couch watching movies (and how natural and comfortable it felt)

I'm thinking that Kevin just told me "just speak from the heart" but I'm too afraid to do that right now. What you just told me online, I don't know how to respond to. I want to let you know how much I love you, but I don't want it coming out sounding like a joke, and yet I don't want you to feel pressured by my feelings.

I'm thinking that I'm damn glad I have this journal right now, so that I can tell you what I'm thinking with less immediate repurcussions. After all, you can just ignore this whole entry if you want to. Or you can take it and smile and feel loved.

I'm thinking that sometimes tangents are wonderful things that I use to change the subject, or to draw attention away from the fact that I don't know how to respond.

Finally, and now I'm thinking that I'm so tired that I don't know how to end this entry, other than to tell you what I keep writing to Kevin:
"Can I just tell you how much I love her?"